Helping the C Club President Save Face (The Collar of Haruhi Suzumiya)
by Alfonso Ling
Summary: After being humiliated twice by Haruhi Suzumiya and the SOS Brigade, the Computer Club president has lost the respect, not just of his classmates, but of his own club. Realizing she may have crushed the poor guy, a guilty Haruhi resolves to help a fellow club leader save face. The plan Kyon devises to accomplish this seems sound, but leads to unexpected consequences.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Notes: This is my first attempt at a fanfic. I usually make up my own OCs, so it was challenging trying to capture the personalities someone else created. Warning: This ****is**** an M story and Chapter 1 is the most intense! The lemon scenes mellow after that. I felt I had to stay true to Haruhi's character, though, so I didn't want to dial it back. I've had several HS fans tell me they skimmed through or skipped past this first chapter once they got the gist of what was happening, and then they really liked the rest. Others told me they loved it all, though. It's your call, dear reader. You've been warned! As always, feel free to let me know what you think.**** - Al Ling **

**Disclaimer: I don't own "The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya" or any of its characters and I am not profiting in any way from this story. It is posted here for entertainment purposes only. All the characters depicted in this work are assumed to be eighteen years of age or older.  
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"Kyon, I beg you. Please do something about that girl," the president of the Computer Club pleaded with me. "She's already taken our best desktop computer and four laptops. And now she wants an even faster computer. Before you know it we won't have anything left but pocket calculators."

That is how it all started. Haruhi thought her computer was running a little slow, so she asked me, if I happened to see a member of the Computer Club, to ask them if we could get an upgrade. Coincidentally, I ran into the club's president in the hallway the next day after regular classes ended.

"You know that's not true. You've got all kinds of machines in there," I replied, pointing toward the Computer Clubroom door. "As for those laptops - we won them fair and square. I also happen to know that Nagato helped you develop at least three new iPhone apps and a new operating system over these past two years. Those apps have made your club thousands. I admit you may have a valid complaint when it comes to the desktop computer, but you've really got nothing to complain about overall."

The president frowned. "Okay. I suppose that's true. But I'm still very frustrated!"

"What's the real problem? It looks to me like your club is doing better than it ever has, thanks in large part to the SOS Brigade."

"I'm just frustrated. I've lost face. None of my club members respect me anymore. That girl always makes me look like a sniveling coward, not just to the members of the Computer Club, but to all my friends." He let out a loud sad sigh. "Girls laugh at me when I walk by."

Aha! Now the truth was coming out. Of course, being the computer nerd he was, girls probably laughed at him anyway. But I did feel sort of sorry for the guy. I know from experience how formidable Haruhi can be. But despite often being an overbearing, arrogant pain in the you-know-what, I also knew she had a genuinely good heart underneath that tough exterior.

"I understand," I told him. And I meant it. For a guy, losing face is a rotten thing. "I'll see what I can do to help you out. Will your club be meeting tonight?"

"Yes. Yes we will."

"Okay. I'll see what I can do. Look for my email."

I walked into the SOS Brigade clubroom. As always I was exceedingly happy to be greeted by Miss Asahina in her maid outfit. "Would you like some tea, Kyon?"

I smiled. "Of course. Thank you very much."

"You're late!" Haruhi said. "What took you so long to get here after class?"

Koizumi looked up over the screen of his laptop but returned to his computer chess game soon after. Nagato was Nagato - sitting in the corner, reading her book.

"Here's your tea." Miss Asahina set the cup in front of me as I sat down at the table.

"I ran into the Computer Club president out in the hallway. I asked him about your upgrade. He's not feeling very good about it."

"What?! That loser," Haruhi replied angrily. "He's a total idiot if you ask me. I'm so glad we kicked their butts at that space battle game. Nobody respects that guy." Haruhi leaned off to the side of the monitor, and looked directly at me. "Did he say he wants another duel?"

"Look Haruhi. Thanks to you, the Computer Club is now pretty much just a satellite of the SOS Brigade. And that guy is a broken man. You're right, nobody respects him anymore. His life sucks. And that's mostly because of you. Yes, he made some mistakes. But cut the guy some slack already. That was two years ago. He's been doing his best since then."

My response hit Haruhi like a brick. She became silent and seemed lost in her thoughts for several minutes. Then her face softened. "I'm sorry. You're right. I guess I have been kind of hard on him. I'm sorry to hear he's doing so badly."

"You know, you can tell alot about a leader by how she treats those whom she has vanquished," I said.

Haruhi looked down. "I suppose you're right. When somebody challenges the SOS Brigade, sometimes I get carried away. I really didn't mean to ruin the poor guy's life." She lifted her head and turned her gaze back toward me. "You're right. He has been doing his best, after all. He's not really that bad of a guy, either."

"He made our website look really nice," Miss Asahina said.

"Yeah, he did." Haruhi sighed. Her face looked very guilty. "So what can I do? How can I help this guy get his honor back? I really feel terrible now. A leader is lost without his honor."

I took a sip of my tea - and a deep breath. "I have an idea. I think it will work. But you're going to have to have an open mind about it."

"What's your plan, Kyon?"

I got up and walked to Haruhi's desk pulling a chair behind me. I slid the chair next to hers and sat down. Then I started whispering my plan into her ear. After telling her the basic concept, Haruhi pulled back with a start.

"NO WAY!"

Koizumi looked up from his game again. "What?"

"Oh nothing," I assured him. Haruhi was still shaking her head.

"That's a crazy idea, Kyon!"

"But it would work."

Haruhi groaned loudly and crossed her arms over her chest. I could tell she was deep in thought once again.

"Yeah. I suppose it would work," she finally said. "It would make him look like a hero."

"And it might be fun, too. It would certainly be something different for you to try."

I really didn't expect Haruhi's next reaction. A sly smile crossed her lips and she started to nod her head. I could tell the wheels in her head were turning. She was starting to see the possibilities.

I knew she was in.

"Let's meet him in an hour," she said.

"Is the SOS Brigade going on another mission?" the ever curious Koizumi asked.

I was about to say something but Haruhi spoke first. "It's just a little side outing. A scouting trip you might say. To fix something I did. You needn't concern yourself."

I could tell Koizumi was poised to ask a followup question, but something in the tone of Haruhi's voice made him change his mind. Koizumi shut up and returned his attention to his laptop. Miss Asahina just went about her duties sweeping the floor, oblivious to everything we said. When I looked over at Nagato, I could have sworn I saw her lips curl up into the tiniest of smiles. But I probably just imagined that.

I composed an email telling the Computer Club president that Haruhi and I would meet him in the empty clubroom down the hall in an hour. The room officially belonged to the Bird Watching Club, but they seldom used it since they spent just about all of their time out with their cameras and binoculars. They only used their clubroom when it rained. The room was never locked.

In an hour, most everyone taking part in after-school clubs in our wing of the building would have gone home, since it was a Friday night. To facilitate my plan, I instructed the president to keep his club in session late today, though.

His reply to my email seemed to come back almost before I hit the send button. He would be there. I had some time to kill, so I paged through my magna a bit, looking over at Haruhi now and then for some feedback. Despite the craziness of what I had suggested, she didn't seem phased a bit. She just quietly clicked away on her computer, surfing from one web page to the next.

When it was nearly time for us to go, I walked over to the closet and retrieved a couple items from a cardboard box on the closet floor. I knew I was being watched, so I stuffed the items into a brown paper bag so Koizumi couldn't see what I had taken.

"Ready?" I said as I walked toward the door, bag in hand.

Haruhi got up from her desk. "Yep. Let's go!" She was surprisingly enthusiastic.

Once we were out of the clubroom, I closed the door and turned to Haruhi. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Oh sure. Don't worry about me. I can handle anything you guys throw at me!" I followed her as she headed down the hall. She looked over her shoulder. "I really do feel bad about what I've done to this guy and I want to make it right." She stopped, turned, and poked me on the shoulder. "Now remember Kyon, this was your idea! You're gonna need to be on the ball to make it work."

I shrugged. "Don't worry. I will be."

"This is your baby. I'm not gonna say a word."

The trip to the empty clubroom took less than thirty seconds. When we opened the door, the lights were on. The Computer Club president was already there. I closed the door and locked it. He looked us over suspiciously - especially Haruhi. It was obvious that he did not feel comfortable around this girl. And I suppose he had good reason.

"What is this about?" he asked.

Haruhi stood still with her arms crossed.

"Look," I said. "We know that relations between our clubs haven't been the greatest. You told me, and we can see, that you've lost a great deal of respect in the eyes of your club mates. That's not a good thing for the president."

Haruhi smirked and looked up at the ceiling.

"So we've decided to make it up to you. We're going to help you regain the respect you've lost." I removed the two items from the bag - a dog collar and a leash. The collar was jet black, padded, and about an inch thick. The leash came as a matching set. It was also black, about an inch thick, and about six feet long.

Haruhi asked me to purchase these items several months ago, when one of her capers required the services of a "bloodhound". One of the SOS Brigade's grateful clients, Sakanaka, let us borrow her West Highland White Terrier named Rousseau for the day, but didn't let us take Rousseau's collar and leash, which were antiques and very valuable. Haruhi insisted I buy the very best substitutes I could afford as a temporary replacement.

I walked over to Haruhi, collar in hand. She lifted up her hair. I fastened the collar around her neck. Once it was secure, I fastened the leash onto it with a loud click. I pushed my hand through the loop at the end of the leash.

"Nobody knows this, but Haruhi and I like to roleplay now and then. As you can see, Haruhi is now my pet and I am her master. This is one of our favorite games."

I looked at Haruhi, trying to gauge if there was any reaction. There was none. Haruhi stood there nonchalantly with her arms at her sides, not saying a word.

I looked at the president. He was staring at me wide-eyed, as if I were an escapee from a mental asylum.

I looked down at my hand - and I turned white as a bedsheet.

For some strange reason it clicked in my mind right then and there that I was really Haruhi's master right now. She had agreed to do anything I told her to do while I was holding her leash. Seriously! ANYTHING! When she told me, "I can handle anything you guys throw at me," she meant it. It was a challenge that a ridiculously competitive girl like Haruhi would meet at all costs.

Her unquestioning obedience in this roleplay game was an integral part of the plan to help the Computer Club president get his respect back. I had to do my part as her master, because she would do hers. I hadn't fully thought this out up to that point - but Haruhi had.

It scared the hell out of me.

I quickly handed the leash to the Computer Club president. He gave me a look of shock as he timidly took hold of it.

"What is this about?" he asked. "What kind of game is this?"

"Try it," I told him. "Tell my pet to do something."

The president looked over at Haruhi - who just stood there, obviously bored.

"Touch your nose."

Haruhi put her right index finger up to her nose, then dropped her arm back down to her side.

"Bark."

"Woof," replied Haruhi.

The Computer Club president was speechless. He just stood there with a blank look on his face, unable to process the situation. After about a minute of uncomfortable silence, Haruhi crossed her arms over her chest, shook her head, and threw such a withering look of contempt at me that I nearly melted.

The hypersensitive Computer Club president obviously thought the contempt was directed at him. He handed me the leash, turned, and walked toward the door. "This is stupid! You people are nuts!"

"No! Wait!" I said as I looked Haruhi in the eye.

Although she didn't say a word, her expression said it all: "Kyon, you're such a fucking pansy!"

This really pissed me off.

"COME BACK HERE!" I shouted at the top of my lungs.

The president, startled by my outburst, turned and came back. I gripped the leash tightly as I countered Haruhi's look of contempt with an even angrier look of my own. So you don't think I have any balls, huh?

"Strip! Bitch!"

Haruhi's eyes widened with surprise. The contemptuous expression completely left her face. It was replaced with an almost pleased look of acceptance, though she did not move to obey.

"BITCH I TOLD YOU TO STRIP!"

The Computer Club president's mouth dropped wide open in shock. Haruhi started unbuttoning her sailor blouse. Once the top part of her uniform was off and neatly folded on a nearby desk, she pushed her blue skirt down toward the ground. It joined her blouse on the desk.

A defiant Haruhi stood before us, dressed only in her white bra and panties, as well as her black knee high socks and white shoes.

"Satisfied?" Haruhi dropped her arms to her sides. "Master?" She did not say this last word in an endearing way.

I was still tightly gripping the leash. It took all the effort I could muster to keep my hand from shaking.

"I said strip. Bitch."

Haruhi looked down at the leash in my hand and smiled. She got down to one knee, undid the laces of one of her shoes, and pulled it off. The black knee high sock soon followed. She switched knees and removed her other shoe and sock.

I looked over at the Computer Club president. His face was like that of a ghost. He stood there motionless like an oak tree - a petrified oak tree.

Haruhi undid the strap at her back and set her bra down on the stack of clothes. She swayed her hips sexily from side to side as she pushed the waistband of her panties down her bare legs toward the floor - it soon landed softly on the pile. When she had finished, every scrap of Haruhi's clothing was on the desk. I looked over the naked girl tethered to my leash. As did the Computer Club president.

"Holy shit!" he said, nearly fainting.

Haruhi clasped her hands together behind her back, totally unashamed of the display. "It's just a body. It looks just like billions of other female bodies all over the world."

The president shook his head from side to side in awe. "No. It. Doesn't."

I had to agree with him on that point. I thought I had a pretty good idea of what Haruhi looked like naked, since I've seen her in a bikini on many occasions. But the real deal looked nothing like what I expected. Haruhi's breasts seemed larger and so much more perfect than I had imagined. Her smooth perfectly proportioned hips glowed softly, even in the harsh white glare of the clubroom's fluorescent lights. A hint of well manicured pubic hair led my eyes to the slit nestled just above her perfectly shaped thighs.

Okay, I know I'm saying "perfect" alot. But that was the only word that came to me as I took in Haruhi's naked body. Sure, I'm biased. I know every guy has different tastes. I'm just telling you what I saw - and I know the Computer Club president agreed with me.

"Turn please," I said, with a surprising amount of self control.

"Wow!" the Computer Club president gasped as he surveyed Haruhi's (yes) perfect back, bottom and legs. He looked up at me. "Is this a dream?"

And I stopped right then.

Because there was a good chance this was a dream. After all, stranger things have happened to me. I looked out the window. We didn't seem be in any sort of closed space. Still, when you're dealing with someone like Haruhi Suzumiya, anything is possible.

I looked over at my stunned male companion. "I don't really know," I told him honestly. Then I stepped forward and ran my hand over Haruhi's perfect firm bare cheeks. "But what do you say we make the best of it in any event?"

The president nodded.

"Sheesh!" Haruhi said with that patented disapproving tone of hers as she turned toward us. "You guys are pathetic!"

I looked her in the eye. "Did I say you could turn?"

Haruhi shot me another angry look. Which I shot right back at her. I tugged lightly on the leash. "And did I say you could speak?"

Haruhi lowered her eyes. "No, master."

The Computer Club president stepped over to Haruhi's stack of clothes and retrieved her panties. "Here, stuff this in her mouth. That's what they usually do."

Usually do?

Well of course. If you're a guy like this president, who spends most of his life on computers, you're going to wind up seeing a good bit of porn. So what this president may have lacked in actual experience, he partially made up for with ideas gleaned from his private "studies".

"Open wide," I told the somewhat irritated Brigade leader.

Irritated or not, Haruhi complied. Like I knew she would. I stuffed her panties deep into her mouth. Although she looked a little like a chipmunk now with her cheeks puffing out, she was still gorgeous.

"Tape?" The president handed me a roll of duct tape he had found in a drawer. The first drawer he opened actually. I tore off a strip and put it over Haruhi's mouth to hold the panties in place. I swear her eyes betrayed a very pleased look once I had finished gagging her. She moved her hand up to touch the tape.

"Don't," I said.

She move her hand back down to her side.

I tugged down on her leash. "Let's go for a short walk, pet." Haruhi understood and got down on her hands and knees. Tugging lightly on the leash, I led Haruhi for a short walk around clubroom. The president trailed behind us, drinking in the view of Haruhi's perfect (that's right) long legs and bare bottom.

"It's weird," he said. "But I feel so much safer now that she's gagged."

I thought I heard Haruhi giggle at this admission.

"Stop," I commanded. Haruhi obeyed. I got down on one knee and ran my free hand through her hair and over her back. "Good girl." I couldn't take my eyes of Haruhi's dangling breasts. She giggled contentedly when I fondled them. Spurred on by this, I moved my hand back to her bottom, my fingers probing for her vagina. I found it. My two fingers slid into her easily. "Wow, you are so wet down there." A blushing Haruhi turned her face away.

We were near the main desk at the front of the room. "Up, girl." Haruhi got to her feet and faced me. "Now turn." She turned toward the desk and rested her fingers on it. I pushed her forward, bending her over at the waist. "Face on the desk." Haruhi complied, stretching her hands forward and resting her head in her arms.

"She's rubbing the tape on her arm," the Computer Club president pointed out with his index finger extended.

I swatted Haruhi on her bottom. "I told you not to touch that." Haruhi groaned as I pulled her arms behind her back and tied her wrists together with the end of the leash. She did not resist me. In fact, I got the impression she was enjoying being bound by me.

I stepped back to admire my handiwork - and that feeling hit me again.

What the fuck?! (Pardon my French.) What were we doing? How in the world had it come to this?

No, dear reader, I had never planned for things to get this out of hand. The plan was to parade Haruhi around the Computer Clubroom - fully dressed - at the end of a leash held by the president. A quick display, a few simple commands, enough to show his minions who was the boss. This would have been humiliating for most girls - Haruhi really didn't care. Her confidence would have overpowered even that feigned act of humility. But it would have been more than enough to elevate the status of the suffering president in the eyes of his club. And, as a fellow club leader determined to right a wrong, Haruhi would have gone through with it for that reason alone.

Now here I was, with a massive erection, as you can imagine, looking down at my bound, naked leader - a girl I considered one of the most gorgeous women in the whole universe I might add - ready and waiting to be fucked. By me. Her master.

Uh-huh. Riiiiiiiiiight...

No. This had to be a dream. And in a dream, when you know it's a dream, you can take chances. So I dropped my trousers and boxer shorts and stepped up behind Haruhi. I had never done this before, although I had imagined it many times. I was probably imagining it now.

When I slid my rigid staff into Haruhi's vagina, it slid in comfortably. I have to admit, showering after gym class taught me that I was a bit bigger than most of my classmates. And though it took a little bit of effort for me to push myself fully into the girl, who was pleasantly - no, perfectly tight - it was a very rewarding effort. Haruhi gasped and moaned into her panties as the front of my thighs reached the back of her legs. I was in - all the way. Instinctively I started pumping in and out of the helpless SOS Brigade leader. And though it was my first time, I felt amazingly competent. Like I'd done this all my life.

Haruhi made no bones about letting me know that I was doing something right. "Wow," the astonished Computer Club president said as he watched us getting it on. "Good thing we gagged her."

I laughed - I think Haruhi did, too - because the girl was definitely not shy about vocalizing how much she was enjoying this. Even gagged, I was worried someone might hear us if they walked past the clubroom door. In fact, I wouldn't have been surprised if Koizumi was spying on us right now.

At this point I truly didn't give a damn. I was having the time of my life. I think Suzumiya was, too.

Haruhi squealed. I knew why. I had suddenly got much harder and bigger inside her. It was the prelude to our climax. Shortly thereafter, I peaked. I just let it all out, pumping my semen into Haruhi like a madman. It seemed like I the flow wouldn't end. Indescribable waves of pleasure hit me with each additional spurt. Haruhi, her back arched, her bound fists clenched, screamed as she climaxed as well.

"Holy shit! That was incredible," said the president as he rubbed his privates. I noticed for the first time how aroused he was. Heck. How could any mortal straight male not be?

After I caught my breath, I slowly pulled out of Haruhi and zipped up my trousers. I patted her a couple times on her bare bottom. "Haruhi. Thank you. That was amazing."

Haruhi, still catching her breath - which took a little longer than it took me since her mouth was still stuffed - remained silent but wiggled her bottom from side to side as a way of registering her agreement. I untied her wrists and helped her get back down on all fours. "Good girl." I patted Haruhi on the head. "Very good girl."

Not surprisingly, Haruhi responded to my condescending pats and compliments with a groan, subtly shaking her head in disgust, wordlessly calling me an idiot. But her eyes smiled at me.

"Okay, then. That's how it's done." I offered the leash to the president once again. "Care to drive?"

The president looked down at my hand and the leash that it held. He quietly inspected the beautiful unclothed girl at the other end. I think he was still trying to figure out whether he was dreaming or not.

"Hell YES!" He snatched the leash from my hand. "Can I walk her down to the Computer Clubroom? So I can, you know, show her off?"

"Sure. Go to town. She's all yours. Do whatever you like."

The Computer Club president led Haruhi down the hallway, past the closed door of the SOS Brigade clubroom, to the Computer Clubroom. I now understood why the president liked following Haruhi. Watching her round bare bottom sway from side to side as she crawled down the hallway on all fours was intoxicating. Watching her dangling breasts jiggle, even as tiny droplets of my semen dripped from her vagina... This was more than a dream.

The Computer Club members gasped in horror when the nude, gagged and leashed SOS Brigade leader was led into the room on all fours, as if she were the Computer Club president's new pet collie.

"It's okay everyone. Kyon is lending me his pet for a little while."

The Computer Club members were all aghast. It took more than a little bit of work to convince them all that Haruhi was doing this of her own free will and that everything was on the level. Haruhi nodded "yes" to at least three of the members who asked her is she was okay.

"Guys! Seriously. It's just a kinky role playing game. It's something Kyon and Haruhi do all the time," the president said. This wasn't technically true. But he didn't know that. "I asked if I could share their little game with you all. Suzumiya and Kyon said they were fine with it."

"So Kyon," one of the members asked me, testing the waters. "If she's really your pet, and you're lending her to us, what will you let us do to her?" It was a very fair question. Everyone turned to me to see what I would say. Haruhi looked up at me with curious eyes as well, no doubt wondering if I was going to go wobbly.

"Anything you want," I said, in keeping with my and Haruhi's agreement. "Anything at all."

They looked down at Haruhi. She nodded. That was all it took.

I felt really strange "lending" Haruhi to these guys like that. The feeling of actually owning her, being her true master, was exhilarating. And letting it go, even though this is what we had agreed to, was strangely painful. I still wasn't sure Haruhi knew what she was in for. But then again, I've learned to never underestimate our Brigade leader. I was actually more concerned about the Computer Club guys. Did these guys know what they were in for?

The president walked Haruhi around the perimeter of the clubroom giving every club member a close up view of her perfect naked body. Some of the guys removed their belts and playfully swatted Haruhi's bare bottom as she passed. These same belts were then used to bind Haruhi face down to one of the student desks. Two club members spread Haruhi's feet and lashed her ankles to the front legs of the small desk. She offered no resistance, gripping the shiny steel legs at the front of the desk as her wrists were lashed to it as well.

Lacking belts, trousers fell. The president, who turned out to be an adequately endowed fellow, took the first turn at mounting the helpless girl. He didn't last long, spewing his seed into Haruhi's vagina after only a few minutes of exertion. Despite the president's premature release, Haruhi arched her back and yelled into her panties with bulging eyes, coming quite powerfully nonetheless. I considered that she might have been faking her orgasm for the president's benefit, but it sure as heck looked real from where I was standing.

One of the members, who obviously spent way too much time surfing porn sites, said, "Let's try one of those double penetrations." Haruhi's arms were re-tied behind her back using this same member's necktie. Soon she was laying face down on top of him as he laid back sideways on the same small desk, his hands grasping her breasts, his hard-on deep inside her vagina. A second club member bent over the two and forced his pole deep into Haruhi's ass.

"Woo hoo! We're doing it! We're doing it!"

"Let's try a triple," a third member suggested. He stepped forward and offered his rigid shaft to Haruhi's taped lips. "Is it okay?" Haruhi nodded. The guy removed her gag. She accepted his offering in stride with no complaints. In fact, she smiled before taking it. She was now doing her very best to pleasure him, even while two other club members remained active at the other end of the desk.

I stepped back in amazement. Three horny Computer Club guys having their way simultaneously with a helplessly bound and totally naked Haruhi Suzumiya - who wasn't complaining the tiniest bit mind you.

This was just totally nuts.

Haruhi sensed that I was concerned. As she was sucking the guy off, she looked up at me. She nodded and winked. I knew it was her way of saying "Don't worry, I'm okay."

I wasn't okay, though. In fact, I was starting to get very sick to my stomach. I can't explain it. I was turned on like I couldn't believe on one level. But my gut ached terribly. Or was it my heart that was hurting so much? Damn it!

"Do you need me to stay?" I asked her.

"Uh-uh," Haruhi was able to answer past the shaft - just before it erupted in her mouth. She greedily swallowed it all down.

I couldn't stand it any more. I knew without a doubt that Haruhi would be fine. She's someone I never need to worry about, even in a situation as wacky as this. But I knew if I stayed, I wouldn't be fine.

So I left - before I wound up killing somebody.

* * *

I waited for three hours in the SOS Brigade clubroom before Haruhi finally walked through that door. By this time the other Brigade members, who knew nothing about what was transpiring a few doors down, had gone home.

"How did it go?" I asked as she walked past me to her desk, paper bag in hand.

"It was fine," Haruhi replied, although she seemed very cautious when she went to sit down. "Oww." She parked her bottom in the padded seat. "Do we have anything cold in the fridge? Like a bag of ice or something?"

I walked over to the mini-fridge. Sure enough, there was an unopened bag of frozen peas in the freezer. I walked over to Haruhi and handed it to her.

"Thanks, Kyon." She put it on the seat cushion and sat back down. She wiggled her bum on top of the bag. "That feels good."

I sat down on her desk. "So were we successful? Was respect for the Computer Club president restored?"

Haruhi looked up and smiled. "Yep. That guy is now the most respected Computer Club president in the history of Computer Clubs."

"What happened? Did they hurt you?"

"Oh come on! Those bastards couldn't beat me. I beat them, of course. I fucked each and every one of them silly - till they couldn't walk any more. I had them eating out of my hand."

"No kidding?"

"I gotta hand it to that club though. They've got some very kinky members."

"I noticed that you were having fun." I had to ask her, "How many times did you climax?"

Haruhi looked up, as if to access her memory bank. "I'd say eight, twelve, fourteen... about twenty-two times. It was worth it."

Haruhi extended her pinky finger and wiggled it.

"You've got them wrapped around your little finger, huh?"

"We're all getting brand new upgraded computers on Monday." Haruhi shifted a little bit on the bag of frozen peas. "Plus the guys have agreed to scrub the floors for us and clean the windows. They're all pretty much my slaves now."

I just shook my head. "Wow. I don't know what to say." I went back to my seat at the table and looked straight ahead. I turned toward the Brigade leader. "You know, they probably took a ton of pictures."

"I erased them all." Haruhi pulled a digital camera out of the paper bag. "Plus I took some of my own. Don't worry, they won't be causing us any trouble."

"You think of everything don't you?" After it came out, I realized that I had said this sort of snidely. I don't know why, but for some reason I found myself getting very upset.

"I try," Haruhi snapped back at me. "Besides, it was your great idea to do this pet thing in the first place, wasn't it?"

I put my head down on the table and rested. "Yeah. I suppose it was."

I could hear Haruhi grumble. Then she got up and took the seat next to me. When I looked up I was looking directly at the paper bag. Haruhi reached into the bag and pulled out the collar and leash.

"Look, Kyon. I know things kind of got out of hand today. But I still had a really good time."

I smiled at her. "I did, too." Which was true, at least during the start of our game.

She handed me the collar and she lifted her hair up out of the way. "I'm the Supreme Leader of this Brigade," she said as I obediently fastened the collar about her neck. Haruhi clipped the leash to the collar. "But here's the deal." She handed me the end of the leash. "When you're holding this, you're my one and only Master, okay?"

"For real?"

"Sure. After leading so much, it feels kind of nice being ordered around by a big strong guy now and then." Haruhi stopped and touched my arm. "That's not completely true, Kyon. Actually it felt kind of nice when _you_ were ordering me around. I don't think I'd take that kind of crap from anybody else."

"Okay," I said with a big smile as I grasped the leash. "So. Can we, you know, have sex again?"

"Huh?" Haruhi said with disbelieving eyes. "What kind of lame command is that?" Haruhi crossed her arms and shook her head, all the while giving me that condescending look again. That look that just really, really, really pisses me off!

I glanced down at the leash.

"FACE DOWN ON THE TABLE, BITCH!"

Haruhi smiled and kissed me on the cheek. She bent over the table and flipped up her skirt. Not surprisingly, she wasn't wearing her panties. "Take it easy on my bum, please, Master. It's still a little sore."

"Okay," I said as I lowered my trousers. I gently slid myself into Haruhi's still-amazingly-tight vagina until my pelvis touched her ice cold bottom, and then pumped my way toward orgasm number two for the day.

Number twenty-three for Haruhi.

It was fortunate that the building was empty this late in the evening because I'm sure Haruhi's screams would have summoned the police. After we finished, I helped Haruhi to her feet. We smiled at each other knowingly as she fixed her skirt.

Suddenly the atmosphere between us turned weirdly uncomfortable when neither of us could come up with the next thing to say. What was supposed to happen next?

I knew. I think we both knew. But did we _really_ want to do this?

I pushed my hand through the loop to let the leash dangle from my wrist - I did not want to drop it. I put my hands about Haruhi's waist and pulled her toward me. She looked up at me with a twinge of fear as I slowly moved my lips toward hers. Strange as it was, we had made love twice - but we'd never kissed.

It wasn't our first kiss, I knew - although Haruhi didn't know that since we were in a closed-space dream world for that first one. But wait -

Was this now my own private dream? Had the tables been turned?

You know what? I was tired of thinking. I didn't care.

I kissed the most beautiful girl in the world. "I love you, Haruhi," I said as our lips parted.

An embarrassed Haruhi gave me an angry look and stepped back, visibly shaken by the "L" word. "Don't be such an idiot, Kyon!" She pushed me away.

I grabbed her arm. "I need to know, Haruhi Suzumiya! What do you feel?" I held up the leash, the end of which was still affixed to her collar. "I want the TRUTH!"

Haruhi frowned and looked down at her feet. She grasped the leash and sighed. Then she whispered, "I love you, too, Kyon... alot." She looked up into my eyes. "May I go now, Master?"

"Sure." I stepped forward and unclipped the leash, even as my heart was about to explode with joy. Haruhi turned and lifted her hair. I unbuckled the collar and put both items back in the bag - on top of her missing panties, I noticed. "Can I walk you home?"

"Okay," Haruhi replied nonchalantly, getting her bearings back now that she was unleashed and back in charge. She trotted toward the door. "Hang on a few minutes. I gotta go untie the Computer Club so they can go home, too. You can help if you want."

No, I didn't want. But I was curious as hell, as I am sure you are, dear reader. So I followed her down the hall. Haruhi didn't knock on the Computer Clubroom door. She walked right in. And I soon saw why.

Haruhi had taped the club's four subordinate members to their chairs, using up the president's entire roll of duct tape in the process. Each sat in a corner of the room, arms well taped to the chair backs, legs spread and tied to the chair legs. None of the guys had their pants on. I noticed a pile of trousers underneath the window sill, but I did not see their underwear. As the puffy cheeked members "mmffffed", I surmised that these undergarments were safely stored beneath the strips of duct tape covering their mouths.

Haruhi had tied the club president spread-eagle to the table in the center of the clubroom, using the four subordinate member's neckties. Although the president was also bottomless, Haruhi had arranged it so that his necktie remained on - as a sign of respect I supposed.

"Hi everyone! Did you guys miss me?"

The guys, whose erections seemed to return the moment Haruhi's energy filled the room, all nodded while mumbling affirmations into their gags.

"I'm going to let you go now. I've got to go home."

Everybody groaned. In fact, their earnest but muffled complaints continued for quite a while.

"Okay, okay, I've got time for just one more BJ." Haruhi walked over to the center table and took hold of the club president's erection. "You guys are all awesome. But I've got to give special credit to the one guy who really knows how to bring it!"

Haruhi turned to me and whispered. "Don't worry, Kyon. Trust me, this won't take long." Haruhi crawled up onto the table between the Computer Club president's legs and took him into her mouth.

Haruhi didn't seem to notice, or care, when I bent down to peek under her skirt while she was pleasuring the club's most respected member. (Yes, the view was fantastic.) I think it took less than a minute before the guy was in total bliss.

Haruhi licked her lips as she jumped off of the table. "Alright guys, now I really gotta run." She walked to the end of the table and unknotted one of the neckties, releasing the president's left wrist. With his arm free, he would have no problem untying his other wrist and then his ankles. For the moment, however, he just stared up at the ceiling with a very content look in his eyes.

"See you all Monday morning for the computer upgrade, right?"

Everyone "mmffffed" and nodded.

"Have a great weekend, fellas!"

I followed Haruhi as she jogged out the door, down the stairs, and into the courtyard. She slowed down when we hit the street.

As we walked down the hill, Haruhi grabbed my hand. "This turned out to be a crazy sort of day, didn't it?"

"You can say that again."

"How about a kiss?" Haruhi asked, as she jumped around me, playfully trying to plant one on my lips.

Not wanting to taste any part of the Computer Club president, I turned my head away. "Not till you rinse your mouth."

"Oh come on." She persisted. "Pretend like I ate some egg whites. It's pretty much the same thing!"

"No way." I put my hand over my mouth.

"You're so funny, Kyon." Haruhi grabbed my arm and rested her head on my shoulder as we continued our walk down the hill.


	2. Chapter 2

"Kyon. Do you think I'm a slut?"

Haruhi asked me this the following Monday. For some reason, we didn't contact each other over the weekend. I think we both instinctively knew we needed time to sort our brains out before we saw each other again, considering last Friday night's festivities. And although I feared things could be awkward when I got to class that morning, it wasn't that way at all. When I sat down at my desk in front of Haruhi, we knowingly smiled at each other. Because we both knew - everything was okay.

But we also knew we had to talk. Things were going to be different. We agreed to stay late again that evening, in the clubroom, waiting until Asahina, Koizumi and Nagato had left for home. The Computer Club guys had to finish some last minute configurations as well. Our new computers were wireless - all the old LAN cables were gone. They worked with incredible zeal and deference to Haruhi, by the way.

So that was the setting when Haruhi asked me the question.

"No, of course I don't think you're a slut. Why would you ask that?"

"Oh come on. You know. You saw what I did with those guys last week."

"Anything and everything imaginable?"

"That's right! What kind of girl would do something like that?"

Haruhi had a point. But I didn't buy it. "It was a one time thing. Like a one night stand. You haven't made any plans to go back there have you?"

"No, of course not!"

"Why did you do it in the first place?" Part of me immediately regretted asking Haruhi this obvious question, but another part of me wanted to know.

Haruhi went silent for several seconds. Then she told me - everything.

"I was curious. I was surfing the Internet, looking for some new songs to download, and this ad from this porn site popped up. Normally I click that stuff away as fast as I can, but for some reason I couldn't click this one away."

"Oh really? Why was that?"

"Because the girl was tied up. Her hands were tied to her feet behind her back."

"She was hogtied?"

"Right. And she was naked. She looked totally happy that way, too - I thought she looked beautiful. After I stared at the image for a while, I realized that girl looked like me. I started exploring the site. They had pictures and videos of all sorts of crazy kinky sex stuff, stuff that I'd never heard of or even imagined. It really started the wheels spinning - it was all I could think about for weeks. So I found another website that sold adult toys and I bought a few things."

"Like what?"

"Some ropes, leather cuffs, a ball gag, a blindfold, a vibrator, oh and this big fake rubber penis."

"You mean a dildo?"

"Yeah, I guess that's what they call them."

"So you played around with his stuff?"

Haruhi's face betrayed a sly smile. "Oh yeah! I especially played with the dildo. I imagined what it was like to suck on a guy, and how it felt inside me. On the website, the girls got it in the bum as well as the regular place, so I experimented with that, too. If felt nice. I totally imagined what it would be like to be one of those girls - I wanted to try it. For real."

"That doesn't make you a slut. That just means you're curious. It seems very normal to me."

I wasn't lying to her either. This seemed totally normal - for Haruhi.

Okay sure, I don't know any other girl that would have taken their curiosity to the place she did.

But let's be honest - this was typical Haruhi Suzumiya behaviour. "Conventional" sex - like the stuff we learned about in health class as first year students - hadn't stimulated Haruhi's imagination the way this kinky website did.

"So when the whole collar roleplay game came around," I asked, "you saw your chance?"

"I don't know, Kyon. I didn't plan that - and you know it. I do know I kind of pushed you, but I really had no idea things would go in the direction they did. The crazy thing is, when you ordered me to strip, I was totally ready for it. I totally wanted to do it. I had to be sure you were completely on board, though."

"So you didn't obey me right away."

"That's right. Not till I knew you really meant it."

"So in a way, on some level you've always wished that something like this would happen?"

Haruhi put her hands on her hips and bent forward. "No, Doctor Freud. Not always. But after I started going to this website, yeah, I really wanted to be like one of those girls."

"Was it like you expected? You know, all the crazy sex?"

Haruhi smiled. "Yeah, it was fun. Those Computer Club guys didn't let me down. But..." Haruhi turned her head and stared out the window. I knew there was something else she wanted to say, but couldn't. She went silent again.

"Is that all you want to say about that?"

"For now." She turned back to me and poked me in the chest. "And promise me you won't ask me about it when you've got me on the leash! Promise me right now!"

I smiled. "No, of course not. I promise. Cross my heart." The thought of having Haruhi on the leash again instantly got my imagination going, though. I shifted in my chair as I started to get very uncomfortable.

Haruhi picked up on it right away. She laughed when she looked down in my lap. "All this sex talk got you worked up, Kyon?" I tried to cross my legs, but it was too late. My bulge was impossible to hide. "Here, let me help you with that." Haruhi rubbed my bulge with her hand. Then she plopped down on her knees in front of my chair and reached up to unbuckle my belt and lower my zipper. My erection sprung out into the open on cue. "Good morning, Mr. Dong!" Haruhi said with a smile. "How are we doing this fine day?"

I laughed at my body part's new name. "You'll do this without the collar on?"

"Don't be a dummy, Kyon. The collar puts you in charge. There's no rule that says we can't have fun when I'm in charge, too." Haruhi took me into her mouth.

I leaned back, intertwining my fingers behind my neck as Haruhi bobbed up and down on Mr. Dong. Everything was starting to make sense now. The whole collar thing leading to the Computer clubroom free-for-all hadn't been my idea at all - Haruhi had wished for it.

But that didn't make sense. Because I know the roleplay game was my idea. When the roleplay game escalated out of my control - into a full-on triple penetration bondage gang bang - that was Haruhi.

And still, as a prelude to that escalation, she wanted me be her first.

"Oh my!" I said, as I felt myself ready to explode into Haruhi's mouth. How could she be so good at this? Of course I knew the answer - Haruhi was good at everything. She was the ultimate utility player. I tried my best to think about something else, to somehow keep myself from coming. It felt so absurdly good, I wanted it to last forever. Haruhi sensed it. She looked up at me and giggled. Then with her tongue she made some incredibly pleasurable sweeps around the head of my shaft. I was no match for this girl. I emptied myself into her mouth fully. If I hadn't been sitting down, I think I would have fainted, it felt that good.

"How was it?" Haruhi asked as she got up and swallowed down my load. "That sure was alot of stuff."

She smiled when I replied with content glazed eyes, "That was amazing!"

Haruhi bent forward. "Quick kiss?" She said this with a mischievous smile. I guess that joke wasn't ever going to get old.

I frowned and turned my head. It was still a little too weird for me to taste myself. She kissed me on the cheek instead and went to retrieve a bottle of water from the fridge. After rinsing her mouth, Haruhi ran over to me and jumped into my lap facing me. She wrapped her arms around me and gave me a good and proper kiss on the lips. Then she pulled back and smiled.

"Okay, I've decided I can tell you my secret."

I held Haruhi, my arms around her waist, and looked into her eyes. Normally Haruhi would have kept her secret a secret forever, but things were changing between us. It meant alot to me that she felt she could trust me with her deepest secrets.

"I'll tell you what's really been messing me up. You know what was the best part of that whole day for me? Because it wasn't the sex and it wasn't the bondage and it wasn't the twenty orgasms."

"Twenty-three."

"Right, it wasn't those twenty-three orgasms." Haruhi took a deep breath. "The biggest charge I got was when we kissed." Then her voice got very quiet. "And when you told me you loved me." And everything remained very quiet again after she said this. I wasn't sure what I should say.

Then Haruhi stood up and helped me out of my jam. "Could we please do that again, Kyon? Exactly like we did it last Friday?"

Haruhi took my hand and pulled me up to my feet. I stood and faced her. I still didn't know what to say, but then the words came to me.

"There's nothing it the world I'd rather do."

I put my arms around Haruhi's waist and pulled her close, slowly moving my lips toward hers. Haruhi's eyes closed as our lips met. Our bodies came together. I could feel her breasts compress on my chest. I could feel her breathing. It was like an electric force field surrounded us, its energy enveloped and flowed through us. Our second "real" kiss was sublime - nearly as good as our first "official" kiss. (And no, I didn't taste anything funny!)

"I love you, Haruhi."

Haruhi just smiled and held me tight. "Yeah, that's the feeling. It was just like that!" After holding me for a few minutes, she let me go and sat on her desk with her legs crossed. She stared out the window silently. I just let her think.

"Oh man!" she finally said.

"What?"

"I wish with all my heart that I could somehow erase all that crazy stuff I did last week."

"Huh?" Now I was totally confused. "Why?"

"BECAUSE IT DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING!"

I was at a loss for words. But in my heart I knew what Haruhi said was true. It was a blast having sex with her. But the thing that really mattered, the real juice, was the feeling you got when you were resting contentedly in the arms of the person you love.

"Do you really wish you could change everything?" I asked because, unlike Haruhi, I knew that she had the power to actually do it. "You'd want to erase our kiss? Or the collar?"

Haruhi gave me the funniest look. "No, not the kiss you idiot!" Then she gave me that sly smile again. "And, no, not the collar either. That was really fun, too. I mean all the crazy sex! The Computer Club. The president. The whole thing. You know. All that stuff!" Haruhi subconsciously moved her hand to her bottom and rubbed it. "I wish I could just make it all go away. Like it never happened." Haruhi gave me the saddest most vulnerable look and sighed deeply. A tear formed in her eye.

I looked down at the brand new upgraded laptop computer at my station. "Can we keep the new computers?"

"BE SERIOUS KYON!"

I knew instantly that I'd just screwed up badly. Haruhi got up and ran out of the clubroom, slamming the door behind her.

I knew Haruhi was in a very emotional state, and I knew she was angry with me because, yes, I was a callous selfish asshole. I knew she was going to cry - not just because of what I did, but because of... everything - and I knew she didn't want me to see it.

Yes, I knew all that stuff. And I wish I had the power to turn the clock back a mere five minutes, because instead of Haruhi running out the door, I might have ended up comforting her in my arms instead...

I looked out the window and watched Haruhi as she ran through the courtyard toward the road, and as she disappeared down the hill.

Then I looked up. The clear night sky had turned dark and overcast. Lightning darted from cloud to cloud, lighting up the city below like a giant strobe light.

It looked like we were going to be in for some heavy weather.


	3. Chapter 3

I sat all alone on the roof taking in the panoramic view of the bustling city below. Although I really hated having to climb the hill every morning, going to a school with some altitude did have it's benefits. In particular, it offered its students a great view.

The thunderstorm forming above the city was amazing as well. Dark clouds flashed brightly from within, emitting colors of red, white, yellow, green and blue. Simply incredible.

I fidgeted with Haruhi's collar, turning it round and round and round in my hands as I watched the overhead light show. I took a deep breath, but it didn't lessen the pain I felt in my gut. They always say to breathe when you're feeling emotional. It wasn't working.

A horizontal bar of spinning red and blue ambulance lights caught my eye. The ambulance - which from my current perspective was smaller than the width of my outstretched thumb - sped over a bridge in the distance, it's siren wailing away. Damn, how that noise annoyed me. It reminded me of a mosquito hovering near my ear.

I got agitated when the noise grew louder and louder, to the point where it was piercing my brain. I closed my eyes and covered my ears, but this didn't help.

"STOP IT!" I yelled as flailed about with my arms.

There was a bang followed by a crash. The sirens stopped! Blessed relief!

When I opened my eyes again, I saw my alarm clock on the ground next to my bed. It was still rocking a little.

"Damn, what a crazy dream. Stupid alarm clock." I picked the alarm clock up and looked it over. I'd only had this one for about a month and I didn't want to go buy another one if I didn't need to. This one looked like it was still working.

I laid my head back on my pillow and looked up at the ceiling. Time to start another day.

I shook my head. For some reason, I felt a little bit queasier than usual. I recognized the feeling. It was that feeling you get when you carry the emotions of your dreams back into the real world. That's what was happening to me.

And the dreams? I remember them vividly since the alarm clock siren pulled me back into the real world long before the story properly ended. My brain wasn't given enough time to file the details of my dream deep into the hidden recesses of my subconscious like it normally did. Which was a good thing and a bad thing.

Haruhi Suzumiya was prominent in my dream. And prominent in a way I'd never seen her. She was the same strong-willed, adventurous Haruhi - that was for sure. But in my dream she spent a fair amount of time without her clothes on - looking far more beautiful than I could have imagined, I should add.

But what kind of sense did that make? It _was_ what I imagined. It was a fucking dream!

And when I tell you it was a "fucking" dream, I mean that in every sense of the word. My dream involved sex. Sex with Haruhi. Plus sex with others. No, not me and others, but Haruhi with others. I'm actually too embarrassed to tell you everything my imagination conjured up regarding this girl's sexual prowess. Let me just say, it was impressive - and very kinky.

I threw my legs over the side of the bed and sat up. As I rubbed my face and eyes, the details of my dream became clearer. This didn't usually happen to me. Usually, as my brain started focusing on the reality of the day, my nocturnal recollections got foggier. But in my mind, I could clearly see myself following Haruhi Suzumiya as she crawled down the hall. She was on a leash. She was naked. And the Computer Club president was leading her!

My manhood instantly stood at attention when I pictured her perfect bare bottom swaying from side to side. I quickly threw a blanket over my lap for fear that my little sister might come storming through the door. She often did, especially when I took my time getting ready in the morning.

My uncommonly active mind immediately shifted to another dream scene. One in which I was looking down at the top of Haruhi's head - which was bobbing up and down in my lap, her lips and tongue pleasuring me quite competently. I got harder yet.

Holy smokes! What did I have for dinner last night? I've got to have that more often!

But it was just a dream. The substance of which I should analyze carefully. Because when you dream, it's often your subconscious trying to tell you something - usually something you might not want to admit at the conscious level.

Okay. So what was this dream telling me? Well, for one thing it was telling me that I was very attracted to Haruhi Suzumiya. Nothing really new there. But there was much more to it than just physical attraction. I was deeply in love with the girl as well. That's why the feelings were lingering in my gut.

And the crazy stuff? The kinky stuff I don't feel comfortable sharing with you, dear readers, what did that mean? I'll have to think about that.

"Kyon!" My sister burst into my room. "Get ready for school! Mom told me to tell you not to skip breakfast again!"

See what I mean about my little sister?

"Hey, Kyon!" She lifted something off of my desk. "You've got Rousseau's collar! Are you taking him for a walk today? Can I come? Can I please? Can we bring Shamisen?"

"WHAT?!" I snatched the collar from my sister's fingers. "WHERE DID YOU GET THIS?"

"It was just laying on your desk, dummy. You don't need to yell at me. Sheesh!" My little sister ran out the door and down the stairs. "Mommy, Kyon's acting crazy again!"

As I studied the collar, my jaw dropped all the way down to the floor. Suddenly all my memories of the last four days crystallized in my mind.

"It was real. Holy shit! Everything I dreamt about WAS REAL!"

I got dressed as quickly as I could - stuffing the collar and leash into my right and left jacket pockets - and bolted out the door without my breakfast. My mom and sister yelled after me, but it didn't slow me down.

I made it to school thirty minutes early. My first stop was the SOS Brigade clubroom. I rushed through the door, ran to my seat, and flipped open the laptop. My heart sank when an older version of Windows popped up on the smallish screen to greet me. I checked the connections in the back. All of the old LAN cables had returned.

I ran down the hall to the Bird Watching clubroom, certain nobody would have visited this room since last Friday. As usual, the door was unlocked. When I entered the room, everything was where I remembered it. Although I don't remember us making too many changes to this room. We might have pushed some of the furniture around a tiny little bit, and yeah, we probably left some fluids here and there, but I saw no sign of that. Wait- I checked the drawer under the table - and pulled out a full, unused roll of duct tape. Damn it!

I considered visiting the Computer Club room, but I was pretty sure the door would be locked. Even if it wasn't, I knew there would be no signs of what seemed more and more to be an obliterated past. But how obliterated was it?

I sat down on the table. The same table where I had my first sexual encounter. With a bound, gagged, naked and very eager Haruhi Suzumiya. I sat there for several minutes, contemplating my next move, but I couldn't focus. My mind was a muddled mess. I noticed several students running through the courtyard towards the entrance doors. Class was about to start.

I bolted out of the Bird Watcher's clubroom and hurried to my classroom. The stuffed jacket pockets bounced off my legs as I ran. Would it be wise to let Haruhi catch me with these items in my pockets? I darted back to the SOS Brigade clubroom. I placed Rousseau's collar and leash into the cardboard box in the exact same place I had found them. Then I sprinted to class, making it through the door seconds before the bell rang.

Haruhi was there, in her seat, gazing out the window. I collapsed on my seat in front of her.

"You were almost late!" She gave me a disapproving look.

"But I wasn't."

I tried to focus on the lecture, but found it nearly impossible. Especially now that I was so close to Haruhi. What did she know? What did she remember? How should I act?

Haruhi tapped me on the shoulder and whispered. "Did you talk to that Computer Club president about my slow computer yet? It's really starting to bug me."

I waited till the teacher began writing on the board. Then I turned and whispered back, "I spoke to him last Friday and he said-"

Wait. Did I really talk to him? I wasn't sure. Did the event that lit the fuse - the Computer Club president complaining to me about his loss of face - even happen? I decided that feigning ignorance of everything would be the wise thing to do at this point. After all, forgetting something you should know is plausible. Knowing something that you should have no way of knowing, however, could get a person into big trouble!

"No wait, I asked him about our website, not your computer. Heck, I don't remember."

"Stupid, Kyon! Get it done already, okay?" Haruhi chided me, although her voice didn't resonate with its usual urgency. And as she spoke she ran her hand over my shoulder and down my arm. I felt some of that electricity again. To be sure, it was only a tiny fraction of what I felt when we kissed. But something was there nonetheless.

I turned to Haruhi, who instantly pulled back her hand. Her face flushed and she turned her gaze toward the chalkboard. "Just get it done, okay?" she said softly, avoiding eye contact.

Haruhi knew!

Well, she knew _something_. I wasn't exactly sure which memories she still held intact. Those she kept were no doubt stored in the context of a dream, the same way she remembered our first kiss. Was it a coincidence that the first person she asked me about was the Computer Club president?

Feign ignorance, I told myself. I know nothing!

If I was going to survive in this new universe, I had to catch up fast. The magnetic attraction drawing Haruhi and me toward each other was powerful. Sex is a very potent force. But I had to play my cards right. Recent events told me taught me a lot about my feelings for this girl - and about Haruhi's feelings for me.

I was confident that if I could hold it together, Haruhi and I could unite once again. But I had to handle this in just the right way. If Haruhi found out our shared dream was in fact a shared real-life memory, it would jeopardize everything. And by "everything" I don't mean just my chances with Haruhi. This could screw up the entire world.

I needed help. When it comes to time distortions and such, you all know who my go-to person is. That's right, it's Nagato. In the past, she's shown herself to be unaffected by any type of time loop, temporal hiccup or space distortion. Except, of course, when her emotions get in the way. How much of my story could I safely share with her? I wasn't sure.

I knew it was Nagato's custom to spend her Tuesday lunch hour in the clubroom with a thick book. So that's where I went. She looked up at me when I crashed through the door.

"Nagato! I need your help!"

"..."

"Have you noticed anything strange regarding the flow of time these past few days?"

"No. Everything is normal."

I set my hand on my laptop. "You didn't notice that our computers have been magically downgraded?"

"The computers have not changed."

"But the computer guys spent most of the day yesterday exchanging out our old systems for new upgraded models. They did much of their work around you while you were reading. I know you couldn't have missed this."

"They were not here yesterday."

"It doesn't make sense. You couldn't have missed that. Your internal clock would have noticed if even a microsecond of your Monday was altered."

"Yesterday was Sunday. Today is Monday."

"Huh? What do you mean today is Monday? How can that be?"

My legs felt weak. I grabbed the table to keep my balance. Nagato looked at me with an expressionless face.

"..."

I pulled up my chair and sat opposite Nagato. "Yuki," I said, "I need to tell you what happened." Then I told her everything - every single detail I could remember of my recent past. Nagato took it all in stoically.

"So, Nagato, what do _you_ remember of these last few days?"

"I recall you and Suzumiya leaving for your meeting. I recall you returning later, alone. You seemed very agitated but did not speak. I left for home 27 minutes after that. This is the first time I've seen you since then."

"Wow. So what happened? How could I lose my entire Monday?"

"By making a wish, Haruhi Suzumiya issued a directive to the universe. The power tasked with fulfilling that directive used what it considered to be the most efficient means to accomplish this task."

"So Haruhi had no conscious role in all of this reconfiguring?"

"Suzumiya is not aware of her power."

I sighed. "Of course she's not. Damn it."

I thought about Nagato's explanation in light of what Haruhi had said:

_"I wish with all my heart that I could somehow erase all that crazy stuff I did last week."_

Fulfilling this wish was no simple task. There were two components to it. (1) Erasing the physical evidence and (2) Erasing everyone's memories of the events.

Erasing memories seemed like a relatively simple undertaking. You just rearrange the molecules in a person's brain so that the offending memories no longer existed. And only seven people's brains needed fixing. Haruhi's digital camera full of embarrassing pictures no doubt kept the Computer Club members quiet over the weekend.

Changing the physical evidence was more of a challenge. By Monday actual physical things started changing in a major way. Hundreds of people could have been directly or indirectly affected. Our entire clubroom got refitted with a brand new computer network, for example. The project took all day and it attracted quite a bit of attention. So resetting the entire day probably turned out to be the most efficient way to solve that problem.

There was still one thing that didn't make any sense, though.

"Nagato, why am I able to remember everything?"

"I do not know. It is possible that in your case Suzumiya's wish to erase the past was superseded by a higher priority directive. On another level, she did not wish for you to be altered in any way."

"Hmmm." I shrugged. "Maybe Haruhi just wants me to remember her kinky side."

"..."

"In our conversation last night, I mean tonight... whatever, I asked Haruhi if she really meant what she said about wanting to erase everything. I asked her if she really wanted to erase our first kiss. And I even asked her about the stupid collar. She said those were memories she wouldn't want to erase. Would she still remember those things?"

"Yes."

"But her own memories of the Computer Club gang bang - would those be obliterated?"

"Yes."

"So the only way for her mind to hold on to the good memories would be to believe that they were all part of a dream. Like that time we were trapped in closed space together."

"Yes."

I covered my face with my hands. "Damn."

"May I see the collar?" Yuki asked.

I walked over to the closet and retrieved the leash and collar. I handed both items to Nagota. She analyzed the items carefully for several minutes, turning the collar over in her hand while studying its every detail.

"These items are benign." She handed the collar back to me. "Please put this on."

"Huh? You want me to put this collar around my neck."

"No." Yuki lifted up her hair. "On me."

"Wait." I ran over and locked the clubroom door. "Just in case." Then I put the collar around Nagato's neck. "Leash, too?"

"Yes."

I clipped the leash to Yuki's collar. After it "clicked", I felt a rush of energy travel from my arm into the leash. The collared Nagato stood there - motionless.

"Did you just feel something?"

"No. I don't feel anything." She grabbed the leash near the collar with her hand. After waiting a few seconds, Yuki started unbuttoning her blouse.

"No, Yuki! Stop it! You can't do that!"

I was about to touch her when she looked up at me and said, "Please let me undress."

Yuki's plan now became clear to me. She was going to try to duplicate the conditions Haruhi experienced last Friday night. Was this really such a good idea?

Two things.

First of all I've learned to defer to Nagato's wisdom. She's saved my life on several occasions and I wasn't about to second guess her now. If Nagato was undressing, I had no doubt that she was undressing for a good reason.

And second, hey I'm a guy. And although Nagato wasn't quite in the same league as Haruhi and Mikuru, she was certainly a very attractive girl in her own right. Nagato had her share of secret admirers. Taniguchi had given her an "A-" rating for a reason.

I was totally mesmerized by the sight of this very pretty petite girl removing her clothes right there in front of me. The skirt came off, then the shoes, then the socks. Nagato was down to her bra and panties. I was pleased and somewhat surprised to see that Nagato's face and body were a little flushed, a sign of her human emotions coming through.

Within seconds Yuki Nagato was naked. And she looked beautiful. Yuki's breasts, though somewhat smaller than Haruhi's, were a perfect match for her smaller frame, as were her narrow hips. Nagato's behind was solid, round and firm, transitioning flawlessly to her well shaped legs.

Yuki reached forward and touched her palm to my expanding bulge.

"Please have sex with me."

I froze. "Don't you think you're taking this experiment too far?"

She moved closer. "Have sex with me. Now."

I immediately dropped the leash and lifted Yuki up onto the table. As she faced me, she leaned back and spread her legs wide. I lowered my pants and boxers. My rod was hard as a rock. I moved it toward Yuki's slit and slowly pushed my way inside of her. Yuki gasped. I felt a little resistance at first, but after pushing through it, I slid into her easily the rest of the way. Yuki's eyes widened. Her mouth opened, taking in quick gasps of air. I started moving myself in and out of her with a slow deliberate rhythm. She moaned agreeably, the motion of her hips synchronized with mine. I adored the expression of bliss on her face. Within minutes, the level of sexual tension between us multiplied. We were both approaching climax.

"Ohhhhhh!" Yuki whimpered softly with large glazed eyes. Her vagina gripped me as I emptied myself into her. Vowing to give Yuki my best, I continued pumping until my reservoir was completely depleted.

We were both spent, but happy. Instinctively I pulled Yuki toward me and held her close. I was still stiff and had no desire at all to pull out of her yet. When Yuki wrapped her legs around me I knew she felt the same way. We kissed passionately. Finally my rod softened inside of her and we let each other go.

"Thank you," she whispered in my ear.

I moved my hand toward the collar. "Should I take this off now?"

Yuki nodded. I unclipped the leash but left the collar on. As I wound the leash into a small loop, I noticed Yuki's skin was covered with goosebumps. She hugged herself for warmth and hopped off the table toward her clothes. When she was once again fully dressed, Yuki walked toward me, turned, and lifted up her hair. Then I removed the collar.

As I went to the closet to return the collar and leash to their home in the cardboard box, Yuki went back to her seat and started reading her book again.

"Are you okay?" I asked her.

Yuki looked up at me. "Yes."

"Did you learn anything new?"

Yuki just looked at me blankly. It sort of freaked me out considering what we had just done.

I walked over to her, gripping her shoulders as I spoke. "Yuki, what was that about? Please tell me what just happened!"

With a poker face, Yuki looked up at me and said, "Nothing happened."

Then her eyes widened and she held her breath. Yuki shifted her bottom on the chair and looked down at her lap. The look of stunned confusion on her blushing face shocked me. It was the most intense expression I'd never experienced from Nagato.

"Why is my hymen broken?"


	4. Chapter 4

It was a good thing Nagato was sitting down in her chair. Her expression was priceless. And it didn't change a bit, even as the book slid off of her lap and crashed down onto the floor.

"You have no idea what just happened, do you?"

"No."

"We just had amazing sex! And you don't remember any of it?"

"No."

"Nagato! You put on the collar! You took off your clothes! We had incredible sex! Please tell me you remember something!"

Yuki blinked twice and moved her hand up to her neck. She closed her eyes. I think she ran some sort of self-diagnostic program or something, because five seconds later she said, "Yes. That is the only logical reason for my state. In addition to my broken hymen, I sense the presence of mucus in my vagina consistent with the vaginal lubricant produced by my Bartholin glands."

"Oh yeah." I chuckled. "You were _very _wet."

"We also kissed - deeply. There are trace levels of your saliva in my mouth." Nagato moved her hand to her womb. "Did you ejaculate inside of me?"

I crossed my arms proudly over my chest. "Big time."

"I don't sense the presence of your semen in my vagina."

"Huh?" This was very strange. My balls were still tingling. "I know I came inside of you - a lot. You were incredible! I couldn't stop coming!"

The normally emotionless Yuki Nagato surprised me again as she blushed and turned away. "I am very disappointed that I have no recollection of the event."

Yuki sat there silently for about a minute. Once she regained her composure, she turned back to me. "It is vital that we understand what happened. May I inspect your penis?"

"Sure." After what we'd just done, I didn't see the harm. I stepped up to Yuki and dropped my pants. She took hold of my rod as if it were a fine cigar. As she examined me, I instantly got hard.

Yuki looked up. "Thank you. That is helpful."

"No problem," I replied. As if I had any control over it. Yuki bent forward and took me into her mouth. I groaned as her tongue gently stroked the underside of my shaft.

Yuki pulled back. "Yes, my fluids are on your penis. May I collect a sperm sample?"

I nodded. Yuki continued stimulating me with her mouth and tongue. The sight of her bobbing up and down on me was amazing. Her skill level matched that of Haruhi. It didn't take long before I once again emptied myself into Yuki Nagato.

Yuki licked her lips. "Your sperm is normal."

"So, there's nothing wrong with _me _then?"

"No."

"Maybe you should take some more sperm samples throughout the week to, you know, just make sure," I said.

"No. That will not be necessary."

(Hey, it was worth a try.)

Yuki touched her neck again. "We must focus on the collar. We must understand its power and Suzumiya's reason for leaving it with you. Where is it?"

"You have no memory of the collar at all, do you?"

"No. Please bring it to me."

"I'm not sure that's such a good idea. You know what happened last time."

"I wish to inspect it," Nagato said. "It seems that the worst outcome would be us having sex again."

I nearly broke my leg tripping on a chair as I dove toward the closet. I retrieved the collar and leash from the box and rushed them back to Nagato. After laying the items in her open palms like a hot bowl of soup, Nagato's hands closed around them.

Nothing happened.

"Wait," I said. "I remember feeling a surge of energy go through my arm and into the leash when I clipped the leash to the collar."

"While I was wearing it?"

"Yeah. But you said you didn't feel anything."

Yuki turned the collar over in her hands. "It's strange. I am feeling a very strong desire to put this collar on. Although I can see the clothes covering my body, I feel as if I am naked."

I grabbed the collar and pulled it toward me, but Yuki would not let it go. I yanked the collar away with all my might, wrenching it from her fingers. Instantly, the spell was broken.

"Thank you," she said.

"If I hadn't taken the collar away, you would have put it on, wouldn't you?"

"Yes."

"It's pretty obvious that if we want to study this thing properly, we're going to need a guinea pig. You need to see how the collar effects another person. There's no way you can test it on yourself."

"I agree," Nagato said.

"We need a volunteer. Fortunately, we can remove the collar at any time, so you should be able to get the information you need before we run into any embarrassing situations." I walked over to the clothing rack and rested my hand on the maid costume. "I'm pretty sure she'll do it."

"Asahina."

"That's right. She has a stake in this, too, after all."

Yuki nodded. I put the collar and leash back into the closet and checked my watch. Lunch hour was almost up. I walked toward the door... and turned.

"Nagato. I'm truly sorry for what happened between us. Please don't think I took advantage of you. It wasn't like that."

"I know."

"And I'm sorry I took your, um, you know... I'm sorry that I tore your hymen."

"I will repair myself."

"Actually, I think you're sexier without that thing. I don't really have a hymen fetish anyway."

"What is a hymen fetish?"

"It's nothing! Never mind! Forget it!" I unlocked the SOS Clubroom door, bolted out into the hallway ...

"UMMMFFF!"

… and nearly knocked over the Computer Club president.

"Hey, watch where you're going!" he said.

I patted the president on the shoulder. "You're just the man I wanted to see." This is where it all started - in the hall, with the Computer Club president. I needed to figure out exactly what he remembered. How did the time distortion affect him?

But how could I find out what he remembered without sounding like a total fool?

The Computer Club president, looking very annoyed, said, "I'm still waiting for your email."

"Oh that. Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about you."

Wow. That was easy. He obviously didn't remember anything past that first conversation.

I continued, "By the way, Miss Suzumiya wanted me to ask you-"

The Computer Club president showed me his watch. "I've got 90 seconds to get to my science class." He dashed past me and yelled over his shoulder, "We'll have to talk later!"

He was right. Time was up. I had to get to class, too. Although I still got the impression he didn't really want to talk to me. Our classrooms were in the same building, so I ended up jogging about thirty feet behind him. Often more because the president kicked in his afterburners once we got down the stairs. He turned off first, beating the buzzer by about twenty seconds. I managed to get to my classroom with about three seconds to spare. Which was actually par for the course for me.

The reason I mention this race to you, dear reader, is because I noticed who the Computer Club president's science teacher was - Miss Hitomi Oshimi. Our school employs scores of teachers, none of which I have mentioned in any great detail. However, catching a glimpse of Miss Oshimi, standing at the blackboard as I sped by, got the wheels in my head spinning.

Miss Oshimi is by far the most popular teacher among the guys in our school, for obvious reasons. The running joke is that they have to spray the chalkboards with a special coating once a week to keep them from melting when Miss Oshimi teaches. (Because Miss Oshima is so hot, get it?) There was a rumor floating around that she was the June 2004 Playboy Playmate of the Month in the United States, and although there is a striking resemblance, the jury is still out.

Needless to say, I completely understood the incentive driving the president's brisk pace. I once fantasized about her as well, I admit it. But now Miss Hitomi Oshimi looked different to me. She seemed approachable. Even available.

No, dear reader, I had no intention at all of doing anything stupid. I know that's what you're probably thinking. But I'll be honest, my mind did file the hot science teacher away as a solid Plan B for collar testing.

I was still hopeful that Mikuru Asahina would be willing to help us shed some light on the collar's remaining mysteries.

* * *

"No, I won't wear it."

This, unsurprisingly, was Mikuru's first response. I caught up to her in the courtyard during a fifteen minute class break. I didn't give her any details. I just informed her about an _unorthodox _cosplay costume that recently caught Haruhi Suzumiya's fancy. Unorthodox was the best word I could come up with as "kinky" and "perverted" probably would have led to questions I wasn't ready to answer.

"There is a strong chance," I said truthfully, "that Miss Suzumiya may force you to wear this costume at some point in the near future. Nagato and I are pretty sure it possesses some supernatural qualities."

"I know how Miss Suzumiya thinks," Mikuru said. "Just how revealing is this thing?"

"It's not revealing at all." (At first.)

"Please tell me, Kyon. What will I be now? A mermaid? A dominatrix?"

"A puppy."

Miss Asahina gave me a bewildered look. "A puppy?" She shook her head from side to side. "Kyon, can't we just get rid of it?"

"I don't think so. For some reason, Haruhi has developed some very strong associations to this costume. If it were to suddenly disappear, there's a very good chance it would reappear the next day."

"What do you think will happen if I wear it? It won't make me bark or anything will it?"

I shrugged. "I'm really not sure exactly what effect it will have on you. But I think it would be smart to find out _before _Haruhi forces you to wear it."

A defeated Mikuru sighed. "I guess you're right. I really have no choice." Mikuru looked at me with frightened pleading eyes. "If anything strange starts to happen, you absolutely promise you'll make me take it off, right?"

"Of course! I promise. We'll get you out of it right away."

"Where are we going to do this?"

"At Nagato's place. Tonight."

Upon hearing the location, Miss Asahina's face turned even more pale with fear. But she nodded her confirmation - before rushing away.

* * *

When I arrived at the SOS Clubroom after class, Koizumi and Nagato were already in the room. Nagato was at her usual place, reading a large book.

Koizumi was at his seat, with his laptop closed, pillowing his head with his arms on the table. When he heard me slam the door, he slowly raised his head. Koizumi looked exhausted. Like he hadn't slept for days. His skin looked pale and his eyes were bloodshot.

"Hey. What's going on? You look wiped out," I asked him.

"I'm fine. Just somewhat exhausted as you say. Something strange seems to be going on with Miss Suzumiya. It's been a while since I've seen it this bad. We almost had a breach last night."

"You mean closed space almost broke into the real world?"

"Closed space is just as real as the world we're now existing in," Koizumi replied weakly. "But yes, the two worlds nearly combined. Suzumiya has created a new type of celestial that is proving very difficult to destroy. They're odd looking creatures that spew a very destructive plasma stream from their front orifice."

"What do these things look like?"

Koizumi sighed. "I don't know any better way to put this, but this new type of celestial looks exactly like a phallus."

I laughed. "You're kidding me. You Espers are now fighting giant, plasma-spewing cocks in closed space?"

"That is a very coarse way to put it. However, you are correct. They have proved to be a formidable foe. We have no idea why these creatures have suddenly appeared. Something very strange is going on in Miss Suzumiya's mind." Koizumi rubbed his eyes. "Please excuse me." Then an exhausted Koizumi put his head back down on the table and fell asleep.

Miss Asahina arrived next. After greeting me, she walked over to the clothes rack. "Is it here?"

"No," I answered. "We'll have it tonight. We didn't want Miss Suzumiya to force it on you today - not before we test it - and we're hoping she won't miss it right away."

"I understand." She reached for the maid costume. It was my and Koizumi's cue to step out into the hallway. But Koizumi was snoring. "I'll be fine," she said as she waved for me to step outside. She reopened the door five minutes later. When I sat back down, across from the snoring Esper, I was a little jealous. Although I was certain he hadn't seen anything.

"What's with him?" was the first thing Haruhi asked when she came through the door.

"Oh Koizumi? I think he had a very rough night, no sleep. He's been snoozing here for a while."

"Maybe a pipe broke and it flooded his house," Haruhi said. "And he spent the whole night mopping up water."

"Your guess is as good as mine."

Haruhi shrugged and took her seat at the commander's desk. She turned on her computer and connected to the Internet.

The three conscious SOS Brigade members could all tell that something was off with Miss Suzumiya. As she sat at her commander's desk, working at her computer, she seemed subdued, but also very agitated. Sighs of frustration were punctuated with bangs when she pounded her mouse on the desk. Haruhi looked over at me several times - sometimes her glances lingered for five or more seconds though I pretended not to notice - but she didn't say a word. It felt like there was something she needed to say to me, but something was keeping her from saying it.

Finally a frazzled-looking Haruhi got up and walked toward the door. "We're finishing early today," she said, mustering all the authority she could. "See you all tomorrow." And she was gone.

* * *

I counted the number of taxicabs that sped by as I leaned back on the entrance door of Nagato's apartment building. I got there early - around fifteen minutes before the agreed upon 8PM meeting time. My hands fidgeted with the collar and leash I'd stuffed into my jacket pockets.

I knew Miss Asahina was going to flip when she finally saw the "puppy costume". I felt guilty about misleading her a little, but I had no other good options. Besides, I knew that nothing bad was going to happen. I could easily pull the collar off of her if things started to get out of hand.

I was up to cab number nine, when she turned the corner at the end of the block. "Hi Kyon." We waved to each other as she approached.

"Are you ready?" I asked. My finger hovered over the intercom button for Nagato's apartment.

She nodded. "Yes."

I pressed down on the button. The front security door slid open before I said a word. After a short elevator ride Mikuru and I were once again knocking on door number 708. Nagato greeted us silently and led us to her living room. As soon as Miss Asahina entered the familiar, sparsely furnished room, she looked around suspiciously. But Nagato's small tea table, surrounded by four pillows, was all she saw.

Mikuru placed her hands on her hips. "Okay Kyon, Where's this puppy costume you want me to try on?"

I pulled the leash and collar from my pockets and held them up. "Here it is."

Mikuru looked perplexed. "What? That's it?" She looked the items over - and giggled. "You're kidding right?"

"No,' I said. "That's it."

Mikuru took the collar from me and studied it, turning it over in her hand. "This is the puppy costume?"

I nodded.

"Well at least it's not very revealing." Her calm expression slowly changed into one of fear. "Unless..." She started blushing brightly.

I knew what she was thinking. "No," I assured her. "Don't worry. It's not like that."

Mikuru's embarrassed giggle melted my heart. "I'd get pretty cold if I only had this on."

I took a deep breath. An image of what she had suggested was forming in my mind. After all, Mikuru was the only female SOS Brigade member I had yet to see wear this costume in exactly that way. I started getting uncomfortable. But Mikuru didn't notice.

It was time to start the experiments. First, I wanted to see if she would give the collar up.

"Now that you're here," I said, "I'm thinking maybe this isn't such a good idea." I held out my hand. "Why don't you give me that thing back?"

Mikuru's eyes widened and she tightened her grip on the collar. "No, Kyon. I'm not afraid. We came here to test this costume so let's do it."

"Will you please give it back to me?" I asked. "I really don't want to do this anymore."

"I feel fine," she said. "I'll hand it to you under one condition. That you help me put it on."

"Okay." I reached for the collar. This was the perfect opportunity to take it back. But Mikuru would not let it go.

"You don't mean it. I can tell."

How did she know that? I looked over at Nagato, who was closely watching everything we did from the corner of the room. There was no change in her expression.

"Kyon, promise you'll put the collar on me or I won't give it back." Mikuru clutched the collar to her chest.

"I promise."

As soon as I said that - and I meant it - Mikuru let the collar go. She lifted her hair up, exposing her bare unadorned neck. I adjusted the collar to the proper size and fastened it tight.

I stepped back. Mikuru ran her fingers over the collar. She seemed very relieved and happy.

"How does it feel?" I asked.

"It's nice. I don't feel anything bad at all."

"This may sound like a weird question, but do you feel like you'd do anything I told you to do right now?"

Mikuru gave me a strange look. "No. Of course not. Not _anything_."

"Bark like a dog," I said.

Mikuru laughed. "Okay. Woof! Woof!"

"Take your clothes off."

Mikuru punched me in the shoulder. "You wish, Buster!"

I was kind of embarrassed. "You know I'm just testing the costume, right? I didn't mean that."

"Yeah. I know." Her cheeks reddened a little and she gave me a sweet shy smile. It was fun to see this sexy, playful side of Mikuru.

"What size is your bra cup?" I couldn't resist.

"Stop it Kyon! That's classified!" She was laughing as well.

"Kiss me on the cheek?"

"Okay. I can do that." I bent forward and Mikuru gave me a peck on the cheek.

"What are you feeling?"

"I feel great. I feel really content. And I do feel really agreeable toward you, Kyon. Not that I don't already feel that way all the time. But what I mean is that I'm ready to do anything _reasonable _you want me to do, if that's what you're asking."

"Reasonable, huh? And the collar. Would you take it off now?"

Mikuru gave me a confused look. "No. I want to keep it on."

"I don't get it. Why? It's just a collar."

Mikuru thought about it for a while. Then she spoke. "This will sound really strange but I have the feeling that if I took it off, I would be naked in front of you."

"Really?" I looked over at Nagato, who said exactly the same thing not long ago. She nodded in agreement.

"Okay. About that feeling. How would you feel _more _naked? If you took off your clothes, or if you took off the collar?"

"The collar," Mikuru said - with a look of shock. Her hands went up to her neck. "Kyon, I don't know if I like this."

"You're fine," I said. "You're in control and you're not ripping your clothes off, right?"

"No, I'm not doing that. But it doesn't feel like I'm used to. It's hard to explain."

I pulled the leash out of my pocket and let it unwind. "I only have one more thing I need to test. Is that okay with you?"

Mikuru nodded.

With its leather end loop around my left hand the metal clip in my right, I reached forward. I placed leash's open spring-loaded clip over the collar's metal ring and let it go. The clip closed over the ring with a loud "CLICK".

I felt it immediately. A surge of energy rushed through my arm and into the leash. I studied Mikuru's face but she didn't seem to register any change.

"Did you feel that?" I asked.

"No. I didn't feel anything."

But I could sense something was changing. The first sign was in Mikuru's eyes, as they followed the length of the leash from her collar all the way to the end loop. Then she seemed to follow an imaginary extension of the leash that ran up my left arm to my shoulder, and ended with Mikuru looking intently into my eyes. "It's getting warm in here," she said, as she fanned her face with her hand. Mikuru broke off eye contact and started unbuttoning her blouse.

"Miss Asahina, please stop."

And she did. But I could tell Mikuru's face was starting to change color. She started breathing more rapidly as well.

"I think it's time to end the experiment," I said, looking over at Nagato. She nodded in agreement. "Hold still," I told Mikuru as I tried to unclip the leash from the collar.

But the spring-loaded clip would not budge. I tried for several minutes - all the while Mikuru was getting more and more uncomfortable - but I couldn't make it budge. I tried unfastening the collar, but it wouldn't loosen either.

I looked at Nagato. "I can't get it off. Can you help me?"

Nagato stepped forward and studied the clip and collar. "There is a force field holding it together. The leash and collar have become one coherent unit at the molecular level. I can not separate or remove them."

"Please let me take this blouse off!" Mikuru was near tears. Her face was flushed and she was clearly very uncomfortable.

"We have no choice," Nagato said. "Her body temperature is rising. If she gets too hot it could cause irreversible brain damage."

I put my hand over the brightly flushing Mikuru's forehead. She was burning up! Every part of her visible skin was red.

"Did this happen to me?" Nagato asked.

My memory raced back to when Nagato was on the other end of the leash. "Yes. Your body flushed red for a short while as you were undressing, but I thought it was because you were embarrassed."

"We must allow Asahina to undress."

I stepped back. "Go ahead, Mikuru. Do what you have to do."

Mikuru quickly unbuttoned her blouse, pulled it off, and threw it on the ground. Her skirt quickly followed. She kicked off her shoes and socks, but hesitated for a second once she was down to only her bra and panties. It was only a short delay. Her bra came off quickly and her panties soon joined the pile on the floor.

"Thank you, Kyon," a completely naked Mikuru said. "I feel so much better now." And it was true. I could see that her body was cooling and returning to its normal hue.

And then it hit me. "WHOA!"

Mikuru Asahina was naked! And she had an incredible body. Her large round breasts were phenomenal. Since she was shorter than average, Mikuru's full top perfectly complimented her slightly wider than average hips, creating the perfect hourglass. If I were a painter, the vision that now stood before me would surely inspire me to greatness!

"How do you feel?" I asked the gorgeous naked girl at the end of my leash.

"I feel really... nice."

"Do you realize that you're naked?"

Mikuru gave me a perplexed look. "Of course! I can see that I'm naked!"

"But it doesn't bother you?"

"No." She touched her collar. "I don't _feel _naked at all."

"Because you have the collar on?"

"Yes. I think that's it."

I stepped forward and reached for her breasts. "Do you mind?"

Mikuru clasped her hands over her bare bottom, arched her back, and thrust her chest out toward me. "No, not at all. I'd be really happy if you did, Kyon."

I cupped Mikuru Asahina's large full globes in my hands and squeezed them together. "You are so beautiful," I said with sincere awe. "What's your cup size?"

"They're D's," she answered without flinching.

"They're phenomenal," I said.

Mikuru giggled. "Thanks, Kyon. I'm glad you like my breasts."

"You know we're still doing the experiment, right?"

"Yes, I know." Mikuru looked up into my eyes. "What would you like me to do?"

"What _will_ you do?" I asked.

"Anything you ask."

I pulled her close and held her in my arms. "Mikuru, please tell me what you're feeling. You've got to know that the way you're acting right now isn't like you."

Mikuru giggled again. "I know it's not, but I'm having so much fun. I don't know how to explain it. I'm naked in your arms. I've imagined myself like this many times, but now here I am. It's incredible." She squeezed me tight.

"You don't feel any fear or embarrassment?"

"No. All I want to do right now is please you." Mikuru pulled my head down and kissed me directly on the lips. I was shocked at first but soon felt a similar strong desire, a desire I'd harbored since I'd first met Mikuru, a desire to kiss this girl. Our lips locked passionately for several minutes.

When she pulled away Mikuru said, "Please have sex with me, Kyon. I need you inside of me." Her hand moved down over my now very large, very hard bulge.

"Nagato," I said. "What's going on?"

Yuki looked on dispassionately. "It seems that while wearing the collar, Asahina has lost her inhibitions completely. Its aphrodisiacal properties are also very compelling. Her focus seems to be on having sex with you."

"Yes it is, Kyon," Mikuru said a she squeezed my package while grinding her naked body into me. "Please fuck me."

Yuki tilted her head. "Did I behave in a similar fashion?"

"Yeah," I replied. "Although your language was less graphic."

I tried to push her off, but Mikuru wouldn't let me go. She seemed to be getting more aroused by the second. "Please, Kyon. I need you."

"You'll do anything I say, right?"

"Uh-huh," Mikuru nodded. She dropped to her knees and pushed her nose into my bulge. "Take it out, Kyon. Now!"

I needed to do something.

"Please lay down on this table. On your belly." The naked girl obeyed. "Arms behind your back please - up high." Mikuru crossed her wrists behind her back just underneath her should blades. I looped the top part of the leash around them and tied it off with a single tight knot. Then I pulled Mikuru's feet back toward her bound wrists and tied her ankles together the same way with the remainder of the leash. The ridiculously horny Mikuru Asahina was now helplessly hogtied on the table.

"What's going on, Nagato? Can you analyze the data?"

"The force field around the collar and leash are still intact. I believe Asahina's behavior will escalate until she attains her goal."

"What's her goal?" I asked rather stupidly.

"How were you able to remove the collar from my neck?" Nagato asked.

"It wasn't a problem. When I went to unclip the leash, it came right off."

"Kyon, please untie me. I need you!"

I ran my hand over Mikuru's firm bare bottom and smacked it lightly. "Let me think!"

"Stop that!" she said. "And just fuck me already!"

"It was after we had sex," I admitted to Nagato.

Nagato did not say another word. What I needed to do was obvious.

"But it would be wrong for me to take her virginity."

"Kyon, don't worry about that. I don't mind," Mikuru said. She struggled in futility against her bonds. "Please let me go. I really need your cock!"

I pinched the side of Mikuru's breast. "Please be quiet."

"Ouch, Kyon. Stop that!" The struggling Mikuru calmed down, though just a little.

I ran my hand through her tangled hair and over her tense bound arms. I asked Nagato, "Would a blow job do the trick?"

"I do not know. We _are_ here to study the behavior of the collar. At this point I do not believe it would hurt to experiment."

"Mikuru, would you be happy if I let you suck me off?"

Her eyes lit up like Christmas lights. "Oh Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! YE-Mmmmmgggggffffff!"

I thrust my rod into Mikuru's mouth. Since she was still hogtied on the table, I helped her pleasure me by moving myself in and out over her energetic tongue. Although Mikuru wasn't as accomplished orally as Haruhi or Yuki, her efforts were more than adequate. Also, the sight of her beautiful bound naked body on the table below me really got my motor running. It took hardly any time at all before I was pumping my semen into Mikuru's mouth.

She moaned happily and licked her lips as she swallowed it all down. I truly hoped she wasn't about to ask me to kiss her.

"Try removing the leash now," Nagato said. "I believe the clip will now release."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. The force field abandoned the leash and enveloped the semen inside of Asahina. They combined and both evaporated."

"Every molecule of my semen is gone?"

"Yes."

I untied Mikuru and helped her sit up on the table. When I tried unclipping the leash, it came off easily. I tried to take off the collar, but it would not budge.

"That will not work," Nagato said. "There is still a force field around the collar."

"Damn." I let the collar go. "How do you feel?" I asked a relaxed, sane Mikuru.

"I feel great." The naked time traveler gave me a wide smile. "Thanks, Kyon. That was fun. You have an amazing penis." Mikuru hugged herself. I noticed there were goosebumps forming on her skin. "It's starting to get really cold in here. Is it okay if I get dressed now?"

"Sure." The shivering Mikuru attacked the pile of clothes on the ground. I looked over at Nagato. "You did this, too. You had the same goosebumps on your skin and everything. I just thought you were cold." Within a minute, Mikuru Asahina had all her clothes back on. The fully dressed girl ran up to me and hugged me, her mouth seeking a kiss. Since Nagato had assured me that every molecule of my semen was gone, I had no problem with this.

When we separated, I asked Mikuru, "Would you mind if I tried taking off the collar now?"

"Not at all," she said as she turned and lifted up her hair, "go ahead." The collar came off easily.

But once again, I noticed a change. Mikuru took a deep breath. Her eyes started to get glassy. As a precaution, I helped her kneel down on a pillow even though she looked fine. In fact Mikuru looked more vibrant than ever, although she remained silent for a while. She spent the next couple of minutes looking around the living room as if she were trying to get her bearings. She looked over at me. Then at Nagato. Then Mikuru caught her reflection in the window.

"Oh my," she said. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize my hair had gotten so tangled. It must have been windy on the way over here. Can I use your bathroom, Miss Nagato?"

"Yes. There is a hair brush in the cabinet."

"Thank you." Mikuru rushed off down the hall.

I turned toward Nagato who joined me at the table. "Well, I think we definitely have a much better understanding of these items and how they work." I stuffed the collar into my right pocket. Then I rolled up the leash and stuffed it into the left pocket.

"But the mystery remains," Nagato replied. "Why would Miss Suzumiya leave this device here for you?"

Just then, with her hair looking immaculate, Mikuru Asahina walked down the hall and back into the living room. She looked around.

After placing her hands on her hips, she asked, "Okay, Kyon. Where's this puppy costume you want me to try on?"


	5. Chapter 5

"Kyon! Wake up! You gotta come see this!" My little sister grabbed my arm and pulled me off of my bed. I hit the ground with a thud.

"Huh? What time is it?" I looked up at my alarm clock from my vantage point on the floor. It was set to wake me in five minutes. My sister always gets up before I do, but usually she lets me sleep through at least three smacks on the snooze button.

"On the TV! A meteor hit right outside of town!"

That got my attention. I ran down the stairs. The TV was on in the living room displaying images of a good sized crater. It looked to be about three police car lengths wide. The crater was cordoned off and all sorts of media people with cameras were trying push past the police tape to get a closer look.

"Is that cool or what?" my little sister exclaimed.

I had to admit, it was pretty cool. Nothing big like that had happened around here since..., well since I could remember. The news announcer said that it was fortunate that the meteor hit on the outskirts of town, far from the city. Nobody got hurt.

* * *

I was trudging up the hill on my way to school, once again cursing the fact that North High was located up on a mountain. Nothing new there, I did that every morning. I often met friends on the trek and we'd chat as we hiked up the hill together, but it was rarely Koizumi. Yet, when I turned to see who was trotting up behind me, there he was.

He didn't look so good. Koizumi's face was bruised and he seemed to be walking with a slight limp. He did not greet me but rather said, "We had a breach last night."

"No kidding? You mean the meteor that hit last night? That was you?"

"It was a plasma charge. Shot off by one of the new celestials. It slipped through."

"You look worse than you did yesterday," I said. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. Thank you for your concern. However, I don't know if we'll be able to handle another night like last night. We've got to figure out a way to calm Miss Suzumiya."

"Why are you telling me this? What can I do?"

"I think you know more than you're letting on, Kyon. I've noticed how Miss Suzumiya has been acting around you these last few days." He put out his palms and stepped back. "Look, I don't need to know any details. I just need you to know that we could really use your help right now. This is serious."

My instinctive response was to deny Koizumi's claim. But I knew he was right. He needed my help.

"I'll do what I can," I said.

"That's all I can ask of you. I've got to go home and get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow," Koizumi sighed, "I hope."

* * *

When I stepped into the classroom, Haruhi was already sitting in her seat behind mine, staring out the window.

"Did you hear about the meteor strike?"

Haruhi mumbled without turning, "Of course, I did. Do you think I'm an idiot? That's all that's been on the news."

"Well, aren't you excited? This is something totally new and unexpected. A meteor's never come anywhere close to here!"

She frowned. "Meh."

"What's up Haruhi? Something's been bothering you these past few days. Do you want to talk about it?"

Haruhi remained silent for about a minute before turning away from the window to address me. "I'm sorry. I guess I have been sort of a bitch lately. It's really nothing."

"That time of the month?"

"No! You idiot!" Haruhi shook her head in disgust. "There's just something that's been on my mind for a long time. And I was able to handle it before. But I'm having a real hard time with it now, and I don't know why." She turned away. "I'm just really confused. I'm sorry if I seem evasive but it's very personal. It's something I have to work out by myself. So please don't ask me any more about it."

"Okay," I said. "I can respect that. Let me know if I can help. I'm here for you."

Haruhi didn't answer me right away. Instead she made the most curious expression as she brushed her fingers across her neck. It was a despondent look of resignation - like she just lost a close game of chess or her favorite pet. Then she sighed and turned her gaze back out the window.

"Thanks, Kyon."

That was the last thing she said to me all morning.

* * *

I ditched my regular lunch meetup with Taniguchi and Kunikida, and dashed off to the SOS Brigade clubroom to meet with Nagato instead. When I burst through the door, I was pleased to see her at her usual spot reading a large novel.

"Hey Nagato."

"..."

"I just wanted to get your take on our little experiment last night. Are you pretty certain that Asahina retained no memory at all of what happened?"

"Her memory was erased," Nagato looked up at me from her book, "in the same way mine was."

"I just don't get it. How does that happen? How can you erase something like that?"

"Human beings are creatures of deletion. Your memory stores only a small fraction of the data produced by your senses. The remainder is perceived as filler."

I thought about that for a while. Nagato was right. "When I try to remember what happened even yesterday, the only things I remember with any detail are the highlights. And those highlights are tied together by long segments of nothing - and that fills out my memory of the whole day. Is that what you mean?"

"Yes. The collar cloaks its activity by overwriting events in memory. It overwrites them with this blank space."

"But how could that happen to you, Nagato? Don't you remember everything?"

"Yes, I do. But I am often idle. There are long periods of time when I don't record anything noteworthy. The collar overwrote my memories of our sexual encounter with copies of blank space created when I was idle."

"But couldn't you tell? I mean there would have to be a break where one memory ends and the new memory starts. Surely you'd pick that up."

"No. The transition is gradual and undetectable."

I thought back to my "encounters" with Nagato and Miss Asahina. Once I removed the collar, there seemed to be some sort of transition taking place - from the idle state of a blanked memory, to fully alert. The transition occurred very smoothly. "So there's not a hard break. It's kind of like when a DJ blends one song into another. There's a bit of overlap."

"Yes. The change was seamless. I could not detect it."

"And since most of what we remember is really just blank space anyway, there's no way to tell what happened."

"Physical changes are not addressed."

"Yeah, that's right. Like your broken hymen. It stayed broken - and you were able to pick that up."

Nagato did not respond. She gave her attention back to the book and continued her reading. After turning the page, she finally said, "I have not repaired myself."

Was that an invitation? I looked over at the beautiful girl sitting by the window. My mind replayed the only available memory of our encounter: our passionate kiss, consummated while embracing Yuki's flawless naked body, her legs wrapped around me, pulling me deeper inside... Damn, she was incredible.

Nagato crossed her left leg over her right. It caused her skirt to ride up and reveal more of her thigh. I had never seen Nagato do that before. She made no attempt to readjust her skirt. Instead, she rested the book on her top leg and continued reading.

"Thank you," I said. I didn't know what else to say.

* * *

No, I did not have sex with Nagato, although it was all I could think about as I jogged back to my classroom. My fantasy high was quickly crushed by Haruhi Suzumiya, just seconds after I sat down in my seat.

"I don't know if I can keep going to school here," she said, her forehead down on her desk. "I just don't feel like I belong."

"You've got to be kidding!"

Haruhi shrugged.

Damn it! This was serious!

Just then class started so I wasn't able to pursue the conversation further...

and an anti-social Haruhi bolted out the door without a word right after class ended.

* * *

Haruhi's mood didn't change much by the time she made it to the SOS Brigade clubroom. Koizumi was absent. When Haruhi walked in - thirty minutes late - she did not inquire as to his whereabouts. Instead she sat quietly at her desk, where she kept to herself, surfing the Internet.

A mouse click... another click... a sigh. A couple mouse smacks on the desk. A grumble... It felt like a vacuum had sucked all the life out of the room.

Then the dam burst.

"THIS THING IS WAY TOO SLOW!" Haruhi threw her mouse on the ground and pushed her monitor over. It toppled off of the desk and landed on the ground with a loud crash. "DAMMIT DONG! WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE CARE OF MY COMPUTER UPGRADE!"

Haruhi seemed to regret her words as soon as they left her lips.

"What did you call me?" I asked.

Haruhi faced me, her expression alternating between sorrow, anger and fear. She got up and stormed past me out the clubroom door. I got up to follow her. Before I could get to it, the door slammed so hard it rattled the windows. I bolted after the distraught brigade leader, rushing into the hallway after her. When I turned the corner, she was almost at the steps.

"HARUHI! STOP!"

For some reason she did. Haruhi slowly turned toward me as I approached.

I pulled the collar out of my pocket and held it up to her. "Have you been thinking about this?"

Haruhi backed away from the collar like a vampire from a cross. She looked terrified and fell back against the railing for support.

"It can't be... real."

I stepped forward and handed it to her. She gripped the collar with wide anxious eyes.

"Lets go to the Bird Watcher's clubroom," I said.

Haruhi nodded. We ran into the empty clubroom locked the door.

"Kyon. What does it mean? I thought it was a dream. But it seemed so real."

"Would you like me to help you put that on?" I asked.

Haruhi nodded. She handed me the collar and lifted up her hair. The collar fit as if it were custom made for her.

"Are you ready?" I asked, holding out the leash clip.

Haruhi nodded.

"CLICK."

Haruhi's mood changed instantly. Her eyes came alive with an energy I hadn't seen in days. "Now?" she asked, her hand hovering near the top button of her blouse.

"Now," I replied.

Haruhi undressed quickly with a bright sexy smile. Within a minute she was standing before me naked once again.

"Master," she said as she used the leash to gently pull me toward the front desk, "can we please do it exactly like the last time?"

I knew exactly what she meant. I pulled open the drawer and was pleased to see a full roll of duct tape. "Sure," I said. "But could you tie your hair in a ponytail this time?"

"What is it with you and ponytails?" Haruhi said, as she readjusted her yellow headband.

"I think it makes you look thirty-six percent more charming." Haruhi flirtatiously modeled the new configuration. "Wow! Make that forty-eight percent, when you're naked."

"Idiot."

"Thanks." I lifted Haruhi's panties off the desk. "Cause I almost forgot what these were for."

A sly smile crossed her lips before she opened her mouth wide to accept them. I pushed the panties deep into her cheeks and pressed a strip of duct tape over her lips to keep them there.

I motioned for Haruhi to turn around. She did and crossed her wrists behind her back without my asking. Haruhi groaned agreeably as I wrapped the leash around her wrists and tied it off. I helped her to bend forward and rest her torso on the desk. She moaned in anticipation when my hand once again explored her (yes) perfect bare bottom. I knew she was ready to go, but I moved my right hand between her thighs and over her slit to reintroduce myself. My two fingers slid inside easily.

"Mmmmmmmm!" Haruhi emoted, which translated to "_Get on with it already, Kyon!"_

I dropped my pants and plunged my rod into the helpless girl. Haruhi was very pleased. And just like the last time, she was not shy about verbalizing it.

As we were fucking, I used Haruhi's forearms to balance myself. Her perfect full breasts bulged out to the sides as I pushed her down into the desk. Haruhi twisted her wrists inside her unyielding restraints as I pumped her as hard as I could.

We reached our peaks pretty quickly. Once again my shaft seemed to expand inside Haruhi as her vagina clamped down on me. The timing was uncanny. We climaxed simultaneously. Our shared orgasm seemed to last forever, as wave after wave of pleasure rocked our united bodies.

But eventually our shared euphoria subsided.

I made it a point to look at my rod after I pulled out of her. It was glistening with Haruhi's juices. I saw no trace of my contribution to this performance.

I pulled up my pants and stepped back, enjoying the view of a bound, gagged and naked Haruhi Suzumiya struggling to catch her breath. Soon her breathing returned to normal but she made no effort to move. Haruhi just laid there, head turned, cheek on the desk. She looked completely at peace.

A teardrop rolled from her eye onto the desk.

I untied Haruhi's wrists and helped her up to her feet. After carefully removing the duct tape from her face, Haruhi pulled the panties from her mouth.

"Kyon," she said with a bright smile. "I love you!" She rushed toward me with open arms.

"I love you, too," I replied as I held her tight.

We loosened our grips on each other and looked into each others eyes. We both knew what came next. Haruhi closed her eyes and tilted her head to the right as our lips came together. Our third kiss seemed even more sublime than the others, if that was possible.

As I held the naked, leashed brigade leader, I sensed in my heart that this was not the time for questions, explanations, and long conversations. As we separated, I unclipped the leash from the collar.

"Wow. It's kind of chilly in here." Haruhi rushed to put her clothes back on and was fully dressed within a minute. "That's better," she said as she adjusted her skirt.

"Come here," I said, standing next to the door. "Let me get that collar for you."

Haruhi jogged toward me, turned, and lifted up her hair. I removed the collar and pocketed it as we stepped back into the hallway.

We walked back toward the stairs. I watched Haruhi's eyes the entire time. Though they remained alive with wonder and possibility, I also recognized that her mind was working to regain its bearings.

"It's my fault," I said, back at the railing. "I promise I'll talk to the Computer Club president and get it done."

"Huh?"

"It's my fault about the upgrade. I promise I'll talk to the Computer Club president," I said.

Haruhi was snapping out of it. She shook her head and said, "Come on, Kyon. Get on top of this! You want _me _to talk to that guy? You know I can get it done."

I smiled. "Like I said, I don't think that would be a good idea. You intimidate the hell of him. You really need to let me do the talking. Trust me, I can take care of it. I promise."

"Okay. I trust you." She looked down at the ground. "Hey, I'm sorry for yelling at you just now. I really don't know what got into me."

"It's okay," I said. "Everyone has a bad day now and then."

"You're being way too nice, Kyon. I know I've been a real bitch since Monday. But you know that thing I told you about this morning? I feel better about it now. I know that I can handle it. I don't know what's changed. It's just a feeling." Haruhi laughed. "I guess destroying my monitor and totally ripping into you reset my brain or something."

"It wasn't so bad," I said. "You can rip into me any time if you need to." I crossed my arms. "So, Haruhi, does this mean you plan to keep attending North High?"

"Of course! The SOS Brigade is counting on me!" Haruhi grabbed my arm and pulled me down the hall toward the clubroom. "Come on! Let's get moving! There's a mystery we need to solve!"

She burst through the door. "Mikuru! Call Koizumi and let him know we're going to be exploring that crater this weekend." With devious eyes, she flashed that confident smile. "I bet it's really the crash site of an alien spaceship! Why else would the police be keeping everyone away from it?"

Haruhi jumped into the commander's chair. She brushed off the top of her monitor - which it turns out was more resilient than Haruhi thought - and checked the online public transit schedules. "There's a train stop not far from there. Then we can hop a cab. We might even end up on TV!"

Suddenly Haruhi's animated face looked perplexed. She reached her hand behind her head and took hold of her ponytail. Her other hand fell down to her hip. She squirmed in her seat as she noticed the damp panties for the first time. _How in the world did that happen_? Haruhi was completely clueless.

I leaned back in my seat and smiled.


	6. Chapter 6

I didn't go home that evening. Instead I took the train to the mall. I needed to get something from Cosmates, the local cosplay store. This was where Haruhi bought the bunny costumes and Mikuru's maid costume. I really envied Haruhi. This store was just loaded with possibilities, especially if you're fortunate enough to be dressing up a doll as beautiful as Mikuru Asahina.

When I walked over to the store's mask section, the item I needed nearly jumped out at me and bit me on the hand. It was a very cute plush puppy dog mask.

I put it over my face and looked into the mirror. The mask was brown and white with two big floppy ears extending out from the sides. There were big holes for my eyes and the lower part covered my mouth. When I put the mask over my face and looked in the mirror I laughed. The thing even made me look adorable. The mask came with a matching clip on tail, which I was not inspired to try on.

During that most memorable night of experimentation at Nagato's place, when Miss Asahina asked us for the second time to see the puppy costume, we couldn't manage to come up with any costume at all. I told Mikuru that I assumed Nagato was going to bring it from the clubroom. Nagato, of course, would have brought the puppy costume had I asked - and had it existed.

I was glad to take the blame for the oversight. Not that another part of me wasn't itching to put the collar back on Mikuru's neck for round two. I looked at my hands. Would they ever get to hold those fantastic breasts again?

I resigned myself to the fact that, no, they probably would not. What happened was an accident. A very pleasant accident I will remember for the rest of my life - and one that Miss Asahina thankfully won't.

To cover my tracks, I had to make the puppy costume exist. And now it did.

* * *

When I walked past her desk the next morning before class, Haruhi grabbed my tie and pulled me down into my seat. "Hey Kyon. I've been doing some research and you know what? They haven't found any trace of a meteor yet? Is that wild? It's gotta be an alien spacecraft that caused that hole."

"Wouldn't they find pieces of a spacecraft then?"

Haruhi looked at me for a second. "The aliens could have repaired the ship really fast and then they took off."

"But then there'd be nothing there for us to find, right?"

"Stop asking so many questions, Kyon! There's no telling what could be out there!"

I shrugged - and, after turning back to the front of the room, I let loose my suppressed ear to ear grin.

* * *

In my email to him, I told the Computer Club president that I would meet him in the hallway in front of the SOS Brigade clubroom during our lunch hour. Since I was a couple minutes early, I walked into the clubroom to check on Nagato. She was reading.

"Hey."

"..."

I noticed that her blouse was open a couple more buttons than usual. From where I was standing I had an excellent view of a tiny uncovered portion of Nagato's deceptively full breasts.

The Computer Club president knocked on the door, snapping me out of my trance. I stepped out into the hall to meet him.

"Look," I said before he could say a word. "I know things have been a little strained between our clubs. And I know that you're struggling. It's gotta suck if you're own club members don't respect you. I get that."

"Well?" he said, avoiding eye contact. "You said you could help me out?"

"Do you know Miss Oshimi?"

That got the Computer Club president's attention. He immediately straightened up and looked me in the eyes, giving me his undivided attention. I took that as a "Yes".

"She's a special friend of mine and she's agreed to let me show you a side of her that I'm sure you've never seen before."

"You can set it up so we can hang out with Miss Oshimi?"

"Something like that," I replied. I pictured a naked, leashed and collared Hitomi Oshimi tied down to a desk the way Haruhi was. It wasn't the most pleasant picture when I added the Computer Club members to it, but I knew it would get the job done. I poked him on the chest. "She'll be giving _you_ all the attention, and all the credit. You'll look like a hero."

"Holy shit! Kyon, if you can make that happen, I'll definitely make it worth your while!" The president was practically jumping up and down with excitement. "When can we do this?"

"I'm going to meet her after classes end to set things up. Bring your crew over about a half hour later. She'll be waiting for you."

"You got it."

I walked back into the clubroom and took my seat at the table.

"Hey," I said again to Nagato.

"..."

I checked my watch - and was shocked to find that I only had five minutes to get back to class!

What the hell? Where did my lunch hour go? My conversation with the Computer Club president couldn't have taken more than ten minutes. Something was wrong.

I checked my tie. It was up all the way and the top button of my shirt was buttoned. It's never like that this late in the day. I looked over at Nagato. Her blouse was buttoned up to the top as well.

"NAGATO! WHAT DID YOU DO?"

Nagato looked up from her book. "You owed me."

"Did you use the collar on me?"

"No. The collar is benign."

"Huh? You know that isn't true."

"It is true. My test proved that the collar's power originates within you. Without you, it does nothing."

"Wow. No kidding. But if that's true, how did you...?"

"I manipulated the data in this space."

"Let me get this straight. You tested the collar on me and it had no effect. But you manipulated the data anyway?"

"Yes."

"You overwrote my memory?"

"Yes."

Nagato looked back down at her book. She read for several seconds and turned the page as I stared out into space, flabbergasted.

"By the way," she added, "you were incredible."

I shook my head and laughed. I guess I deserved that.

"Nagato! Promise me you'll never do that again!"

"I promise. If you will do the same." Yuki looked up from her book. She turned toward me and looked me directly in the eyes. "If you wish to have sex with me, I will not turn you down."

* * *

The bell rang signalling the end of class for the day. I bolted out of my classroom and ran down the hall. When I arrived at Miss Hitomi Oshimi's classroom, the last few students - among them the Computer Club president - were making their way out into the hall. I gave the president a thumbs up.

"Thirty minutes?" he said.

I nodded. "Don't be late."

It was now time for me to crawl way out on the end of a limb. There was so much that could go wrong with my plan that it made my head spin. Still I felt strangely confident. I promised Haruhi I would fix things up between the SOS Brigade and the Computer Club. And I had a plan, albeit a crazy one. I felt events would fall my way.

"Miss Oshimi. May I speak with you?"

"Yes. Please come in."

I stepped into the classroom and walked toward the desk where Miss Oshimi was collecting her things.

She looked up and adjusted her wire rim glasses. "You don't look familiar," she said. "Are you one of my students?"

"You know," I said as I put my hand up against the chalkboard, "there's a rumor going around that they have to spray these once a week."

Miss Oshimi gave me a warm knowing smile. "Yes, I've heard that one." She moved toward the classroom door. "I've got to go. How can I help you?"

"I've got this thing here," I pulled out the collar, "that seems to have strange supernatural powers."

She looked down at my hand. "It's a dog collar. Look, I really don't have time for this." She turned toward the door.

"Wait," I said. I handed it to her.

Miss Oshimi humored me and took the collar. She looked it over.

"Have you ever worn something like this?" I asked.

"Actually, I have," she replied with a smile. "Back when I was modeling. It brings back memories." She looked up at me. "Although I have no idea why I'm telling you this."

"Would you like to try it on?"

"Okay. That might be fun. But please lock the door first. I'd hate for someone to see me with this on."

She read my mind. I walked over to the door and locked it. When I returned to Miss Oshimi she handed me the collar and turned. Since her hair was already put up in a bun there was no need for her to lift up her hair. She crossed her arms as I fastened the collar about her neck.

Miss Oshimi giggled. "I can't believe I'm doing this. By the way, what was your name?"

"Most people call me Kyon."

"Hitomi," she said. We bowed toward each other. "I've never allowed a student to call me by my first name before, but for some reason I feel like I know you."

"Miss Oshimi -"

"Stop it!" Hitomi flashed me a beautiful, heart melting smile. "It's Hitomi."

And right then, I knew I couldn't go through with this.

"What do you think of the collar?" I asked.

Hitomi smiled. "It brings back memories. Mostly good ones."

"How would you feel about giving it back to me?"

"Just a few more minutes, okay?"

I shrugged. "Okay." I had no idea how I was going to get out of this one.

"Why did you come to see me, Kyon?"

"Actually I needed some help with something - I mean someone. It's sort of this job I've been given. I thought you could help."

"Maybe I can. Try me."

"I'd rather not," I said. "I think that coming to you was probably a mistake."

Hitomi touched the collar.

"Are you sure I can't have the collar back yet?" I asked.

"I can't exactly explain it," she replied, "but it really feels nice. Like it belongs on me."

"A couple girls told me that taking off the collar felt like they were taking off their clothes."

Hitomi smiled. "Yeah, I get that. I feel exactly the same way. It's like if I took off the collar I'd be naked." Hitomi turned her back to me. "Go ahead Kyon, you can take it."

I was shocked. "Really? That doesn't bother you?"

The science teacher laughed. "Let's be honest Kyon, you've already seen me naked. Many times. I'm pretty sure every guy in this school has."

"No way! That's really you in Playboy? Miss June 2004?" I removed the collar from her neck. As it came off, Hitomi let out a barely audible moan and wiggled her hips sexily, as if she were undressing.

"Yes, it is. But don't you tell anybody that!" She turned to face me. Hitomi removed the glasses from her face and let her hair down. Then she winked and smiled.

"Wow!" I said. She looked stunning. Yes, this was definitely Miss June.

"When it comes to being seen butt-naked by guys that I don't know... let's just say, that horse left the barn a long time ago. So tell me, Kyon. Seriously, how can I help you?"

I looked down at the collar. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

"Because I like you. You're actually the first guy that's had the stones to come up and talk to me like this. And your collar - that was really off the chain. It was a ballsy move. And it worked. You are a very interesting guy."

"I love the nude photoshoot you did with the motorcycle, Miss Oshimi." Hitomi crossed her arms and frowned. "Sorry. I mean Hitomi."

"Oh that. I get a lot of compliments for that one. It wasn't nearly as glamorous as it looks. It was a nighttime shoot. I nearly froze my tits off!" Hitomi paused. "I'm sorry. I meant to say breasts. After all, I am a respected science teacher now." I was totally falling in love with this woman. "Okay, let's hear it."

"There's this guy. Actually he's president of the Computer Club. And nobody respects him. Even the members of his club. And I want to turn that around."

"I know that guy," Hitomi said. "Isn't he one of my students?"

"Yeah, he is."

"And I think I know some of the club members, too." Hitomi rolled her eyes. "They're a... _unique _bunch of guys."

"You have no idea," I said.

"But the president is a good guy. He's very polite and he works hard."

"Would you be able to help him look important to the other members of his club? They all look up to you like you're a goddess."

"You mean they all imagine me naked, giving them head."

"Yeah, isn't that what I said?"

Hitomi really got a kick out of my joke. When she stopped laughing, she said, "Sure, Kyon, I could do that. What are these guys about?"

I told Hitomi all about the Computer Club. About the amazing game they developed - and how we kicked their butts at it. About their new operating system and the iPad apps they made - with Nagato's help, of course but I didn't mention that. And about how they've been keeping our web page up to date.

"I'm not asking you to do anything, um, improper. Right?" I said.

"Don't worry. When it comes to teacher-student protocol, there's a fine line. Unlike you," she winked at me, "I know exactly where the line ends. Should we head over to their clubroom?"

KNOCK - KNOCK - KNOCK.

"No need. I think they're here."

Hitomi shook her head in disbelief and smiled. "Hop in the closet over there," she said. "So nobody gets the wrong idea." She put her glasses back on but left her hair down.

I rushed off and hid as she suggested. Then I watched Miss Oshimi operate from the crack in the not-quite-closed closet door. She was simply phenomenal.

Hitomi greeted her student, the Computer Club president, warmly and lavished him with praise. She knew _exactly _what she was doing. A touch on the arm, a flip of the hair, a smile. She handed the president her iPad and stood behind him as he demonstrated the Computer Club's new app on it. "Excuse me," she said as her breasts accidentally brushed up against the president's back. The other members of the club were in awe.

"Can you show me your setup?" the stunning science teacher asked at one point.

"Wow. Sure!" the president replied as he led the group toward the door. "The clubroom is a little messy right now but..." and the classroom door closed.

* * *

"You're late!" the girl behind the commander's desk said as she was pointing her finger at me.

"Guilty as charged," I replied. "There was some business I had to take care of."

"That's okay," Haruhi said. "I've decided to be nice to you today to make up for blowing a gasket yesterday."

"You are very kind." I sat down at my desk across from Koizumi - who was looking much better.

"Did you get a good night's sleep?" I asked him.

"Why yes, I did. I feel much better today." His nod to me with raised eyebrows said "_Thank you very much"_.

"Would you like some tea?" our lovely maid asked. Of course, I could not refuse.

Haruhi started sharing her plans for our crater exploration trip - scheduling, travel details, necessary equipment, that sort of thing. She had it all under control. "I wonder if we can scrape up a Geiger counter somewhere," she said at one point.

I kept looking over at Nagato, who was sitting by the window reading the large book resting on her uncrossed legs, hoping she'd cross her legs again. But she didn't. However, the top button of her blouse was open. Something told me that when the open button count reached three again, I better watch out.

* * *

On Friday, the Computer Club president, true to his word, stopped in to upgrade Haruhi's computer. In fact he didn't stop there. His crew upgraded every SOS Brigade member's PC. When they were finished, the clubroom looked exactly as it did at the end of my "lost" Monday. Even Haruhi was impressed.

Every time I saw him in the hall, the Computer Club president smiled and flashed me a thumbs up sign. His life was better than ever. Even the girls stopped laughing at him. Miss Oshimi made regular visits to the Computer Clubroom every few weeks to see what the guys were working on. I'm sure it wasn't just as a favor to me. After all, she was a science teacher and these guys were doing some very impressive things - thanks in large part of course to Nagato.

Our trip to the crater proved to be uneventful. By the time we arrived at the scene, a large security fence topped with razor wire surrounded the site. We explored the surrounding area for pieces of the crashed alien spacecraft, but we didn't find anything.

Haruhi did manage to interrogate one important looking man as he was leaving the guarded entrance. The man wore dark sunglasses and a black suit. I later learned he was Koizumi associate and a member of the Organization. He explained to her that the lack of debris wasn't at all unusual. The "rock" was probably a megacryometeor - a very large chunk of ice. I don't think she was buying it. Which didn't concern me too much. The girl was always suspecting something. Of course, this time she was right.

More importantly though, Haruhi seemed to really enjoy our company. Especially _my _company. But in a perfectly wholesome way. Sure, she became a little more flirtatious than she had in the past. I could definitely sense the effects the recurring erotic dreams had on her behavior. But in her "real" world, she never crossed too far over the line. The alien, the esper and the time traveler were extremely pleased by this turn of events, since a happy Haruhi made their lives so much easier.

Life was not getting easier for me, though. As our secret liaisons in the Bird Watcher's clubroom and elsewhere became more regular, I was starting to develop some serious issues. My concentration suffered. As did my sleep. As did my grades.

I overcompensated. For a while, I tried not to look at Haruhi or initiate any conversations. Strangely enough this didn't bother her at all, because Haruhi's brain was telling her everything was fine between us. She seemed to be receiving positive signals from a deep emotional reservoir that I was regularly filling. This whole crazy deal with the collar - it was totally working for her.

No. Haruhi was fine. Now I was the one losing his mind.


	7. Chapter 7

Haruhi required sex about once a week. I learned to read her moods fairly well along those lines. She'd drop subtle subconscious hints - an irritable groan, an extended longing stare, a deep sigh. Sometimes even an aggravated tap on the back of my head with a pencil let me know. When I missed a signal - which can happen easily when the person sending the signals doesn't even know she's sending them - Koizumi warned me that small regions of closed space were once again forming.

Haruhi had an eerily similar reaction each time I presented her with the collar: shock followed by a near-instant recognition and acceptance of what was about to follow. Like a ripe piece of fruit ready to fall off the vine, when Haruhi was ready - she was ready.

Although Haruhi's response to seeing the collar was the same, the sex never was. It depended on her mood. Though she always called me her master, I tried my best to be sensitive to what she wanted. And what she wanted usually involved some pretty creative and kinky things. Like Haruhi, I was starting to amass a very respectable collection of sex toys, many of which I hid in my backpack.

Why the need for variety? After all, to Haruhi each time was her first. The crazy websites she visited updated their content regularly. Maybe, when Haruhi saw something that looked like fun, she updated her fantasies as well. Still, this desire for variation puzzled me, because I knew without a doubt that the collar wiped Haruhi's memory clean after each liaison. Was she storing memories at some deep unreachable level? Was she dreaming about our hookups at night?

Nagato told me she didn't have any dreams after her lost encounter with me. But it sure as hell did change her. It was like Yuki stepped up to the mirror one morning and realized that there was this really hot girl staring back at her. The changes were subtle but unmistakable. Whether it was conscious or not, I don't know. Yuki uncovered the fact that she had that special magical power a cute girl can have over a guy, and she was starting to use it. Very well, I might add.

Of course, Haruhi changed toward me, too. My first big clue came only minutes after I removed her collar following our makeup sex session after the blow-up, when she said "I'm sorry". I don't think I've ever heard her say those two words as sincerely as she did then. Since I started providing her with regular sexual refills, she felt totally at ease around me. Even when I didn't talk to her or look at her, she didn't mind. Some mysterious force was strengthening that invisible bond of trust between us, and Haruhi was flowering in spite of me.

Now you might think that being able to have sex as often as you want with the most beautiful (to me) girl in the universe is a dream come true. And at first it was - the first two weeks we did it a lot. But after a while, two things started to really weigh me down.

First of all, remember that I wasn't just keeping our sexual encounters secret from the world - I was hiding them from the person I was having sex with! Sure, I knew the collar cleaned things up (in more ways than one). But Haruhi wasn't a dummy. At some point she _could_ catch on.

So I became more cautious. For example, I quit using her panties as a gag and I seared a mental note into my brain to have her change her hair back to the original style before taking off the collar (no, I couldn't give up the ponytail). The clock was a constant concern. I longed to be with her for hours. But I rarely let things run past twenty minutes.

Don't forget. This girl that I was regularly fucking, in the most bizarre and fun ways, was Haruhi Suzumiya!

What if someone caught us? What if Haruhi found out? I could just imagine someone emailing Haruhi a cell phone video of a certain naked club leader, bent over face down on the table, hands tied behind her back, the number one member of her club fucking her from behind. Would that end the world or what?

Secondly, and more seriously, I started to wonder where this was all headed. Don't get me wrong. The sex was phenomenal. But Haruhi and I weren't building anything! Despite the subtle changes, our relationship really wasn't all that different on the surface. This was my girl. This was the love of my life. But except for those amazing twenty minute sessions each week, I HAD NOTHING!

And we never really talked. Not about the future, not about the past, not about anything! When we were done, I unclipped the leash. I was too afraid to rock the boat. What if I screwed things up? What if I said something wrong and got her mad again? What if I accidentally betrayed a harmless secret Haruhi shared while under the collar's power that I should have no way of knowing? Big trouble!

No, silence was definitely the best policy.

Sometimes the pressure got so bad I considered quitting - just chucking the whole thing. But that wasn't a good option, either. That option caused craters!

I was literally going nuts.

* * *

After class ended, instead of heading to the clubroom I felt inspired to take a detour. The last few students were just leaving Miss Oshimi's classroom when I walked through the door.

"Hey, Kyon," she said. "It's good to see you. How have you been?"

"Not bad," I said. I walked over to the chalkboard and ran my finger over it. "I thought I'd stop in to see if they'd gotten to coating the chalkboards yet."

Miss Oshimi laughed. "They came by yesterday."

"Hey Hitomi, how come you're so reserved and controlled when you're up here teaching? You know nobody has a clue that you have so much personality."

"I think you know the answer to that one. In some situations it's just wiser to maintain a healthy professional distance. Free time is why we have friends." Miss Oshimi took a seat at the front desk. "So sit down, friend," she said. "Tell me what's on your mind."

I took a seat opposite her. "First of all I want to thank you for helping me out of that bind with the Computer Club. I've never seen the president so happy."

Hitomi flashed a knowing smile and shrugged. "When you've been around men as long as I have, you get a pretty good understanding of what makes them tick."

"I was kind of hoping you could help me out with my understanding of women."

"Haruhi Suzumiya?" she asked.

"Yeah! How did you know that?"

"I overhear some of the conversations the students have now and then. Your SOS Brigade comes up fairly often. I was never able to match your face with your name, but now that I know you I was able to put two and two together."

"I'm sure you hear some pretty crappy things. I know most people think I'm an idiot for being part of that group. But I don't mind it."

"Oh hell no, Kyon!" Hitomi said. "The guys are totally jealous! They can only dream of spending that much time with three cute girls. They'd never admit that to your face, though."

"No shit?"

"Nope. You guys are all so funny at this age. You'd flip if you knew half the things your classmates suspect you of doing with those girls."

I could feel my face start to flush. "What do you say we don't go there?"

"Oh my!" Hitomi replied. Her fingers covered a sly smile. "You go, Kyon!" Then she crossed her arms and looked me in the eye. "So, Miss Suzumiya is causing you some grief?"

"Yes. I'm in love with her. And I'm pretty sure she's in love with me. But the whole thing is so strange and convoluted. You wouldn't believe me if I tried to explain it."

"Are you two sexually active?"

"That's not a real easy question to answer," I replied. "Let's just say that from my perspective we are very much so."

Hitomi chuckled. "Look Kyon. At this age sex can really mean a lot to a girl, especially if you're her first. That is a very tricky can of worms to open."

"Well it's open," I said. "Now what do I do about it? I don't know where this is going."

"Miss Suzumiya seems like a natural leader. Crazy as this may seem, girls like that gravitate to a guy who's willing to take charge."

I pictured a very content Haruhi at the end of my leash. "Yeah," I said with a smile, "I can relate to that."

"Do you trust her?" Hitomi asked. "I mean do you really trust her?"

"Yes I do. Since I've come to know Haruhi, I've never known anybody I would trust more. She can be a pain in the ass sometimes, but I know she'd do absolutely anything for her friends if they needed her. Haruhi Suzumiya would never let me down."

"If you trust her, then you need to talk to her. You," she punctuated the word by poking me in the chest with her index finger, "need to lead. I know it will be scary for you. You may not like the answers you hear. But you need to take that chance, Kyon. Or you may end up losing everything."

* * *

By this time Koizumi owed me a whole bunch of favors. He was more than happy to oblige when I asked him if he knew anybody who owned some farm land. In particular I was looking for a nice quiet place where Haruhi and I could have a private picnic and I could be 100% certain we would not be disturbed.

"I know just the place," Koizumi answered with that familiar smile. "And when you're done with your picnic, the two of you can check out the music festival" which coincidentally was taking place nearby.

Haruhi instantly like the music festival idea figuring it was a good place to find offbeat people. "I hear sliders like to hang out at those things," she said with an enthusiastic grin. She didn't seem upset at all when the three other Brigade members had to bow out.

Koizumi had family visiting. Miss Asahina had to participate in a dance recital - for real. This surprised me since I had no idea Miss Asahina had a talent for dance. And Nagato... well she knew about everything and had no problem coming up with an excuse - I don't even remember what it was. What I do remember is that her blouse was down to button number two when I spoke to her about the outing.

Haruhi and I took an hour train ride past the outskirts of the city. She brought a good book and I had a couple manga to keep me busy. The train wasn't very full since it was a weekend. I set my super-loaded backpack in the seat to my right and Haruhi sat across from me.

"Check out all the farm animals," she said as the urban landscape turned rural. "There's nobody out here. We're really heading off into the sticks!"

For the rest of the trip, Haruhi gave me some tips to help me spot sliders and we talked about the bands and music we liked. We stepped off of the train at noon. Koizumi had arranged for a car to pick us up from the station and take us out to his Uncle's farm. The driver told us it was only a twenty minute walk from the farm to the music festival and he showed us the route. He promised to come pick us up from the festival whenever we called.

"You have service way out here?" I asked the driver, who nodded and suggested I check my cell phone. When I checked I was surprised to see that I had a very strong signal.

The bands weren't scheduled to start playing till four o'clock. Haruhi was excited since that gave us a good bit of time to search for strange people around the bands' buses, vans and RVs. Fortunately, we were both starving so it wasn't difficult to convince her to have our picnic lunch at the farm first.

* * *

"Hey be careful!" Haruhi said as an olive dropped out of her mouth and onto her lap. "I have no arms!"

I wiped my greasy fingertips on my pants and picked the olive up off of her bare leg. I popped it into her mouth. "Correction. You've got no arms that you can use right now."

"Whatever!" Haruhi said with a sly smile.

We were sharing a picnic blanket underneath a large shady oak tree. The location was every bit as nice as Koizumi said it was. Our tree stood in the middle of a large grass field. A wooden post-and-rail fence surrounded the field and kept the few grazing cows out of our business.

Haruhi was kneeling across from me. She was naked but for the collar and the leather cuffs that snugly hugged her wrists and ankles. A short chain curved from the padlock connecting her ankle cuffs up through her bum cheeks where it met the padlock connecting her wrist cuffs. Although it was chilly there in the shade, the helpless bound Haruhi seemed very comfortable. At least she was comfortable temperature-wise.

A slim chain hung between the clamps I'd affixed to her erect nipples. I retrieved another larger padlock from a backpack compartment.

"You wouldn't dare!" Haruhi said when she saw the padlock.

I gently pulled on the leash, which made Haruhi bend forward and arch her back. The thin chain now dangled freely from her breasts.

"You wouldn't dare!" she repeated with wide eyes, as I moved the padlock toward the chain. "Oh my," she said when I closed the lock and slowly let it drop. "I guess you would dare. Oh boy..." Haruhi twisted her shoulders in an effort to reduce the sting caused by the weight pulling down on her nipples.

I reached forward and playfully squeezed the helpless girl's perfect breasts together. Haruhi closed her eyes and inhaled in an effort to mentally deflect the pain.

"I think you could handle another one," I challenged her. Haruhi just looked at me with furled eyebrows and bit her lip. She probably could, but she wasn't going to volunteer.

"Where'd you get the idea for this little torture session?" Haruhi grumbled through gritted teeth.

"I checked your Internet browser history."

Haruhi laughed. "Figures. Hey Kyon, we've had sex at least ten times already today. For a girl that's not a big deal, but how are you able to manage that?" She smiled. "And you actually seem to be getting bigger and harder each time."

I was surprised at the question. Haruhi had never asked anything like that before, although in all fairness before today my record with her was three times. I removed the clamps from her nipples and let her sit up.

"It has to do with the collar and the leash you've got on." Haruhi sighed as I reached forward and massaged her aching boobs. "But the power actually comes from me." I put my hand over my package. "From my balls, I think." I had never really spoken to Haruhi about the magic of the collar, but I knew I would today. I was going to take Hitomi's advice and let it all spill out. This seemed like the perfect time.

At first she looked at me like I was a little nuts, but I could tell she soon thought better of it. Not only did the collar adjust Haruhi's inhibitions, it also made me her master, so she quickly sought a way to believe what I told her. Haruhi's current situation made it easy. Despite feeling "dressed" by the collar, here she was sitting fully naked with me under an oak tree on a picnic blanket, totally enjoying living out the kinky bondage and sex fantasies she always longed to do but never shared with anyone.

She nodded her head. "How did we get here?"

"We took a train, remember."

Haruhi laughed and struggled. "You know Kyon, if I weren't tied up right now I'd smack you!"

"Sorry, I couldn't resist. Actually, you gave me this energy. There's a force field system that makes all of this work. I used to think that the force field jumped from the leash to my semen and everything evaporates, but what's actually happening is the semen comes back to me - supercharged. When I've got you on the leash, I never run out. Plus, you can never get pregnant."

Haruhi gave me another strange look. "Wait. You say, _I_ did this?"

"Haruhi, we need to talk."

I stepped behind her and removed the leather cuffs from her wrists and ankles. Then I took a comfortable seat, reclining against the oak tree with my legs outstretched, and waved for Haruhi to join me. Haruhi jumped up, hopped into my lap, and wrapped her arms around my neck.

"Go ahead, then," she said. "Talk."

So I started talking.

"Remember when I revealed the identities of Nagato, Asahina and Koizumi and you yelled 'Don't mess with me!'? Well, I was telling you the truth, they really are..."

And I let it all out. I poured out everything!

I told her about her powers, about Nagato, Asahina and Koizumi, about closed space. I told her about our weekly sex sessions in the Bird Watcher's clubroom. I even told Haruhi about her adventure with the Computer Club. Haruhi just took it all in, never stopping or interrupting.

"I did that?" was the first thing she said after I finished. "With those guys?" I could tell that part really seemed to hurt her.

"It was mostly my fault," I said. "I kind of pushed you into it."

Haruhi sighed. "No, that was me. I just can't turn away from a challenge."

"Let's agree it was a team effort," I offered. "Besides, it doesn't matter. You obliterated the whole thing like it never even happened."

Haruhi looked around and took hold of her leash. "And here we are."

She sat silently for several minutes and processed everything I told her.

"Wow," she finally said. "I could tell something crazy was going on. But I never..."

Haruhi stood up. Then she sat back down in my lap facing me, her legs spread around me, her knees at my sides. She put her hands on my shoulders. I held her waist.

"So whatever I wish for comes true?" she asked.

"Yep," I said. "That's how it works."

"So that's why I'm here right now." My naked companion put out her arms. "Like this."

"Yes, at some level that's true."

"You're damn right it's true!" Haruhi said excitedly. "CAUSE I'M LOVING THIS!"

"Why?" I had to ask.

"Because ordinary sex is just so... ORDINARY!" She took my hands and moved them over her breasts. I cupped and squeezed them as she gushed. "Did you notice that the two times you tried to walk me around the field on all fours you couldn't take me past five steps before you had to fuck me" she giggled, "Doggy style?"

I laughed because it was true.

Then she turned and pointed. "And when you blindfolded me and tied me to that fence, then you tickled me - till I peed myself!" She turned back and playfully smacked me on the shoulder. "You were so evil!"

"Yeah, that was fun. I had to gag you, you were getting so loud. And, no, you didn't pee yourself."

"And the sex feels so amazing! And each time we do it, it gets better! I don't think I've ever had this much fun in my entire life!"

"Me, too. But..." I moved my hands from her breasts back down to her hips. "Haruhi, the reason I brought you out here today is because it's starting to drive me crazy." There was a long pause, but Haruhi didn't say a word. She just looked into my eyes and calmly waited for me to say something.

"I love you. But I don't know if I can go on like this. I need to know where this is going."

"I love you, too, Kyon." Haruhi took a deep breath. "But I'm just not ready for this. I mean I am. I'm here right now. But I'm not ready for a relationship like that with you."

"Huh?"

"What I mean is that the other me. The me that doesn't know about all this. She's not ready. But now that she's done it, she can't live without it either. Does that make sense?"

I thought about what Haruhi said, and yes, it did make sense. We had opened the box a few years too soon.

"So that's why you created this collar?" I asked. "So you could have it both ways?"

"No Kyon. _You _created the collar!" She grabbed her leash and shook it. "This was all _your _doing. I just somehow figured out a way to make it all work. Don't you see? I don't want to lose you either."

"But Haruhi, you can do anything. Can't you change the world, you know, so things can work for us?"

"No I can't, you idiot! You're the one holding the leash." Haruhi held my head in her hands and looked me directly in the eyes. "Don't you get it? This is _your _world. When I'm wearing this thing I can only do what you want me to do."

"I want you to be happy," I said.

"I know that," Haruhi replied. "If the other me didn't trust you with everything, we wouldn't be sitting here." She sat back and wrapped her arms over her chest. "But I can't change who I am. And right now, I'm just not ready. If you want me to be happy, you'll have to wait for me."

I let the gravity of her words sink in. Realistically, I was looking at several very difficult years ahead. Of course, those years could be punctuated by plenty of very pleasant moments like the ones we were sharing today. I knew I had no choice - and at this point I didn't need one. I pulled Haruhi close and held her tight. "I'll wait for you," I said, as a tear rolled down my cheek.

"I'll be there if you do," Haruhi replied, putting her arms around me as well.

We kissed, then held each other for a long time, knowing it would soon be time to go. When we finally parted - with sad smiles and teary eyes - Haruhi smacked me on the arm. "Don't screw this up!" she said.

"Ready to go to the music festival?" I wrapped my fingers around the leash clip.

Haruhi nodded.

Goosebumps covered her body as soon as the clip cleared the collar's silver loop. Haruhi ran to her clothes and quickly put them on while I stuffed the leash and all the toys back into my backpack.

"What would you like me to do?" Haruhi asked, once she was fully dressed.

"Just lay on your side right there and read your book," I told her. Haruhi nodded and complied. "Oh, and don't forget to fix your ponytail."

"I won't remember any of this?" Haruhi asked as she adjusted her hair.

"No," I said. "Are you disappointed?"

"Of course not!" Haruhi replied. "Now get this thing off of me!"

I removed the collar and stuffed it into my pack. It took Haruhi a little time to get acclimated to her surroundings. "It's about time to head to the music festival," I said after about a minute. "I can take your book if you want."

"Huh?" Haruhi said as she looked up.

"Your book," I said. "It's time to go. I can carry your book for you if you want."

"Okay, thanks Kyon." She handed me the book. "This picnic was a nice idea." Haruhi started cleaning up the plates and uneaten food. "I'm glad you thought of it."

* * *

"That band was awesome!" Haruhi said, pointing to the back of the digital camera.

Haruhi and I were back on the train, sitting next to each other, checking out the pictures we took at the music festival. We were looking at the shots I took of a particularly good band.

"Yeah, the lead singer looked pretty hot in that mini-skirt."

Haruhi punched me in the arm. "Is that all guys ever think about?"

It was pitch dark outside but the lights of the city were visible on the horizon.

"Her band looked kinda scary," I said, "but they could really play. It wouldn't surprise me if they were aliens."

"Are you making fun of me?" Haruhi put her hands on her hips.

"No. Would I ever do something like that?"

Haruhi crossed her arms across her chest and frowned that all too familiar frown.

"Idiot."


	8. Epilogue

There was someone I needed to talk to, and since it was lunch hour, I had a pretty good idea where this person would be. When I stepped into the SOS Brigade clubroom, Nagato was sitting in her customary corner seat.

The top three buttons of her blouse were open.

"Look Nagato," I said, addressing the obvious. "You're a beautiful, sexy girl. But you know my heart belongs to Haruhi now, right? And nothing is going to change that."

Nagato sat up and closed her book. She studied me for several seconds as I stood at the door.

"Yes. I understand."

I walked toward Nagato, took the book out of her hands, and set it on the table. Nagato got up out of her seat and stood before me. I reached down to her blouse and unbuttoned button number four, followed by button five, then six - all of them - until her blouse hung open. She pushed the blouse over her shoulders and let it fall to the ground. I reached behind and unzipped her skirt. It fell next to her blouse.

"Nagato," I said, looking up at her as I untied her shoes. "What's going on?"

"You are undressing me."

"Yes, I can see that but..."

"Please stop talking."

I shut up. Nagato's bra was the next item to hit the pile, followed quickly by her panties. The naked alien, looking just as hot as I remembered, crossed her arms under her full breasts and watched.

Watched as I removed my clothes as well. Within a minute, I was naked - and standing at attention. I picked Yuki up and set her down on the table. She leaned back and spread her legs wide.

Part of me really liked where things were heading - but something was a off. "Hey Nagato. Are you making me do this?"

"Four percent."

"What?" I asked as I moved my shaft toward her slit.

"I increased your desire level four percent."

"Oh boy," I gasped as I entered Yuki's wonderfully tight, hymen-free vagina. I started thrusting myself in and out. Yuki's face took on an expression of total bliss.

"My desire level?" I asked, my pleasure level increasing with each thrust. "My desire for what?"

"Your desire to have sex with me - gauged by the dilation of your pupils, the subtle change in your skin color, your altered breathing rate, the slight increase in the size of your bulge... among other factors."

I stopped and looked Yuki in the eyes. "Wait a minute. You mean to tell me that I was about to turn you down, so you pumped up my desire level four percent to push me over the edge?"

"Yes." She shrugged. "I figured it was close enough."

"NAGATO!"

Yuki put her finger over my lips. And smiled.

Once again we had incredible sex.

* * *

**Author's Notes: If you got this far, thanks for hanging in there! This is not the end of the story, though. I have a few more chapters I plan to add to this that take place in the universe of The Collar of Haruhi Suzumiya. Plus I'm open to suggestions if you've got an idea for something that you think might be fun. Please send me a PM or put your idea in a review. Thanks! - Al Ling  
**


	9. Mikuru Finds the Puppy Costume - Part 1

A cryptic anonymous text message flashed across my phone - "park bench 7pm". For some reason the words "park bench" really gave me a lift, because I was pretty sure who sent the text. I pressed the "k" button on my phone's keypad and hit Send to confirm. I wondered what was on Mikuru Asahina's mind. Things had been very quiet lately, so I didn't have a clue why she'd want to have a private meeting. In fact I wasn't even sure which Mikuru Asahina I would be meeting! The younger or the older? Don't get me wrong, though - either one was totally fine with me.

It was already six o'clock so I had plenty of time to make the appointment. I ate dinner and watched TV until the digital clock on the wall read 6:45. I threw on my jacket, ran out the door, and walked quickly over to my meeting. The sun had just set and the park's lights were coming on, as the pleasant warm day stepped aside to welcome a dark and chilly night.

The park seemed more crowded than usual. Sunset must send a special signal to the canine species, because nearly everyone was walking their dog - unless they were stooping over with bag in hand to pick up what their dog had deposited. Amazing, these animals. They'll poop anywhere without a thought. Absolutely no sense of shame and no inhibitions.

After scaling some steps and following a paved path for about a minute, I walked up to the bench - where the younger Mikuru Asahina was patiently waiting for me. She looked lovely as always greeting me with that bright smile, while clutching her long green overcoat around her shapely body to fend off the chills.

"Hi Kyon," she said. "I'm sorry for bothering you with such short notice, but I didn't know what else to do."

"I don't mind. What's up?"

"I found it!" she said, bouncing a bit in her seat.

"That's fantastic!" I replied. "You found what?"

"The puppy costume you and Miss Nagato were talking about! For some reason, the costume crossed my mind. So after you all left today, I came back to the clubroom and looked around for it. Miss Suzumiya was hiding it in a cardboard box in the closet. We can test it now!" She looked down at her lap. "Kyon, I hope you don't mind if we test it here alone. I just don't feel very comfortable at Miss Nagato's apartment. Okay?"

I was more than a little shocked. "Miss Asahina, you don't want to be messing with that costume!" I said, somewhat loudly. "Especially not here out in the open!"

"Oh don't worry," she said. "I already tried it out in the clubroom, and it's totally harmless. I just wanted to demonstrate so you and Miss Nagato could stop worrying about it."

"Miss Asahina!" I shouted. "Please don't put that costume on!"

"Stop it Kyon! I'm not a little girl and the costume is totally harmless. Here, I'll show you." She retrieved the puppy dog mask from her coat pocket and pushed it up against her face. Then she pulled the mask's strap behind her head.

"Woof! Woof!" She held out her hands. "See, it's nothing." She pulled the matching tail out of her other pocket. "I would clip this to my belt, but I've got my coat on. Trust me, it's not dangerous. Here." She wrapped the tail around her waist and tied it off like a belt. The tail's long ends hung over her legs and laid harmlessly on the bench. "Just in case you were worried." She patted her thighs. "Totally safe."

I laughed. "You do look very cute with that mask on. And you're sure you don't feel anything strange?" I played along, quite relieved.

"Nope. Nothing. This costume is 100% completely harmless." She removed the puppy mask and looked it over. "I sure hope Miss Suzumiya doesn't make me wear it though. It's been a few weeks. Do you think she forgot about it?"

"It's been in that box for a few weeks now, so I'm pretty sure she did. Sorry." I shrugged. "I guess it was a false alarm. I'm glad we were able to check it out."

"That's okay. Let's be glad it _was_ a false alarm. You can stop worrying." Mikuru hugged herself in the cutest way. "And I can _really_ stop worrying!" She took off the mask and her tail belt and stuffed them back into her pockets.

"Were the collar and leash in the box where you found these?" I asked. Those particular items were very important to me and I wanted to make sure Miss Asahina hadn't moved them.

Mikuru's eyes lit up. "Oh, I nearly forgot about that!" She opened up her jacket. I froze when I saw she was wearing the collar about her neck. "I've had it on the whole time! It's totally harmless, too. Here." She handed me the leash. "Wanna be my master?" Mikuru giggled.

I looked down at my right hand - which now held the leather loop of the leash. I reflexively took a deep breath as I felt a surge of energy travel through my arm into the leash. I looked up into Mikuru's eyes, horrified.

Mikuru picked up on it right away. "What's wrong Kyon? Are you okay?" She put her hand over mine. She gave me a sweet smile as her cheeks started to blush. "I was just kidding about the master thing."

"Are you sure about that?" I was starting to panic.

Mikuru put her hand up to the collar and wrapped her fingers around the leash. She gave me a confused look and answered quietly, "No."

Oh shit! I scanned the area around our bench. There were people everywhere! I looked toward the road and noticed a clump of large trees set a good distance away from the nearest lamp post.

"Follow me," I ordered. I ran over to the trees.

Mikuru followed me closely. She didn't have much choice since I had the leash in my hand.

"Kyon! It's hot!" She ripped off her overcoat and tossed it on the ground. I knew there was nothing I could do. I stood back and watched Mikuru Asahina strip out of her clothes as fast as she was able. Her blue blouse soon joined the overcoat, followed by a pair of tan slacks. She added her shoes and socks to the pile next. Unlike the last time I witnessed this, there was no delay at all removing the bra and panties.

When she once again stood before me, naked as the day she was born - except for the collar, and the leash that dangled freely between her full large breasts - I was once again in awe.

Mikuru knew exactly what I was thinking as she sauntered up toward me, her hands clasped behind her back, her back arched. "See something you like, Kyon?" she said as she offered me her breasts.

I squeezed them like a set of luscious, ripe melons. "These are amazing." I looked into her glowing eyes. "What's your cup size?" I knew the answer from before - but I just loved asking the question.

"They're D's," she answered proudly.

Just then a bus drove by, brightly lighting up what little cover we had in the shade of the trees. Anyone looking up from the street would surely see us. I grabbed Mikuru about the waist and pushed her down onto the ground. I laid on top of her to cover her up.

Mikuru giggled. "Are you gonna do me right here?" she asked with a sexy smile.

Not too far away, a dog started barking. Normally I really appreciated how protective dogs were of people, especially kids and women. But this pup was becoming a major pain in the ass.

The dog's owner was looking over to see what his concerned companion was barking at. Soon another dog joined him. I looked down at the smiling nude girl laying underneath me.

No. This wasn't going to work. I had to do something, and fast.

I saw a cab in the distance coming up the street toward us. I set Mikuru's jacket to the side before scooping up the rest of her clothes and wrapping the slacks around them.

"We're going to take that cab," I commanded my naked pet as I pointed to the approaching car. I threw the jacket over her back and we ran out into the street.

I waved at the cab like a madman. This cab had to be available. It had to be!

And it was! Although Mikuru was clearly not liking the overcoat. "Take it off me! Take it off!" she screamed.

"Just a second," I said. "Hold on just a second!"

Mikuru closed her mouth though her eyes were welling up with tears. I opened the back door of the cab, tossed the clothes onto the seat, and pushed Mikuru in face down onto the floor behind the front bench seat.

"Where ya goin'?" the startled cabbie asked.

"Just drive!"

I pulled the door shut. In the meantime, Mikuru had flipped herself onto her back. The green overcoat was still covering her. She kicked at it, trying to push it away as hard as she could. "It hurts! It hurts!" she said. "Get it off! Get it off!"

I bent forward and tried to lift the coat off of her - and Mikuru kicked me right in the nuts!

"OWWWW!" I screamed in horror as I grabbed my package. Damn that hurt! While I was bent over in agony, Mikuru was recovering. The coat now lay harmlessly next to me on the seat. Even in the dim cab's light, I could see the red patches on Mikuru's skin where the coat had been touching it. It looked like sunburn. Fortunately, now that Mikuru was once again uncovered, the red patches quickly cleared up.

"HEY BUDDY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" the cabbie yelled at me as he looked at me in his rear view mirror. "If you so much as hurt a hair on that girl's head, I'm gonna break your neck!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I gasped. The incredible pain in my crotch was starting to subside somewhat and I was once again able to breathe. "Everything is okay. Really."

"DON'T YOU DARE TALK TO MY MASTER LIKE THAT!" Mikuru shouted.

The cab remained silent for several minutes as the shocked driver tried to collect his thoughts. "I can't do this!" The cabbie finally said as he pulled over. "You two are fucking nuts! Get the hell out of my cab!"

"But wait," I said. "Where are we?"

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY CAB! NOW!"

"Okay, okay."

I looked down at Mikuru. The naked girl looked up at me with that sweet sexy smile. Then I looked out the window. We were parked on a busy well-lit downtown street, with tall brownstone buildings all around us. To my left was a nightclub - the neon sign above the large double doors flashed "Pandora's Gentlemen's Club" - where a sizable group of people were milling around. To the right was a corner drug store. A group of young guys was crossing the street at the end of the block. They were still a healthy distance away but coming toward us quickly.

"Do I owe you anything?" I asked the cabbie, trying to buy some time.

"OUT!"

Directly opposite the cab's back door a dark alley separated the two buildings. It was my only option. I grabbed Mikuru's clothes and her overcoat, and I stepped out onto the sidewalk. "Come on," I said. Mikuru sat up and made her way out the door. When the cabbie saw the nude girl getting out of his cab, his jaw fell to the floor.

With the roll of clothes under my arm, I held the overcoat up, creating a shield between the nightclub and my naked friend. We dashed into the alleyway, as the guys approaching from the other side whistled and hooted.

How bad could this get? I took the leash and briskly walked Mikuru down the dark alley away from the street. When I looked over my shoulder I was gratified to see that nobody was following us. I managed to find a dumpster a little ways in that we could hide behind. All I needed was a quick blowjob and all of this would be over.

Mikuru was certainly ready. She pushed her body up against mine and rubbed her breasts into me as her hand roamed between my legs.

"Ouch!" I said. My package was still aching like a son-of-a-bitch.

"I'm sorry, Kyon. I really kicked you pretty hard, didn't I? I didn't mean it." She got on her knees and started kissing the fabric covering my package. It was hot as hell watching this girl from above. But there was no way I was going to be able to "perform" right now. Not for a while.

I peeked around the dumpster, and was shocked to see a couple big ugly guys heading in our direction. Maybe these guys were just coming back for a cigarette break, or yeah, maybe drugs. I don't know. I was sure they didn't know we were here - but soon they would know. I had no choice. I held up the coat to cover Mikuru's back side and we walked further into the dark alley.

"You two!" came a voice from an open door to our left as we approached the alley's back wall. "Over here!" I turned to the man, in shock.

"You're here for the contest, right? Amateur Night?"

"Sure. Of course," I said as I led Mikuru toward the door.

"Whoa!" The bouncer said as he scanned Mikuru and realized she was naked. "You're really taking this contest seriously!" He opened the door wide for us. "Dressing room is downstairs." He laughed. "Not that you need it." He winked at me. "Nice work, buddy. Break a leg."

When we got to the downstairs dressing room we were greeted by several ladies in a state of undress. My presence, as well as Mikuru's nudity, barely caused anyone to bat an eye.

A woman, my guess was she was a manager of some sort, came over to us with a clipboard. "Stage name?" she asked.

I looked down at my leash. "Puppy."

The dressing room manager nodded. "Okay, Puppy. You're up third." She wrote the name at the top of the page and handed Mikuru the clipboard. Then she pointed to a makeup station. "You can get ready over there," she chuckled, "if you need to. Please fill out these forms. I'll be back in a minute."

I walked Mikuru over to the chair at her station and had her sit down in it. She turned toward me and hugged my legs. "I need you Kyon. Please fuck me!" She pushed her nose into my crotch.

"I can't!" I answered. "You kicked me down there. And it still hurts."

Mikuru rubbed me with her hand. "I know. I'm sorry. The coat just hurt so much. I had to get it off."

I ran my hand through Mikuru's long beautiful hair. "That's okay. Just hang in there. I'll be ready soon."

I looked around. This was the first time I'd ever been in a real life girl's dressing room, let alone the dressing room at a strip club. Mikuru's attention had been drawn to an LCD TV screen mounted in the back of the room. She watched enraptured as a girl danced on the stage around a silver pole, slowly removing her clothes as she did. Though the TV produced no sound, we could feel the bass beats of the music clearly through the floor.

No, I had no intention of letting Mikuru perform. But I needed to bide my time until my injury healed sufficiently. I started filling out the forms on the clipboard as I waited. Naturally I lied about everything.

"That looks like fun!" Mikuru said as the men in the club cheered wildly for the girl on the TV screen, the thunder of their applause seeping through the floor. "It reminds me of cheerleading back in Middle School."

"You were a cheerleader?" I didn't know that. "They had cheerleaders back in your home time plane?"

"Sure." She turned up to face me. "I was the captain!"

Her response totally surprised me. Though I knew she had recently taken up dance, I had a very hard time imagining the reserved Miss Asahina leading cheers. Then again, here she was sitting before me, in line to go on stage to compete in a amateur night strip club contest. I guess anything was possible.

Two girls completed their routines as we filled out the paperwork. I knew Mikuru was on tap soon. Time was running out. I knew I had to get it up, and get it up fast. I gently rubbed my injured package, but Mr. Dong was not waking up.

The dressing room manager came over. She grabbed the clipboard and looked it over. When she was satisfied that every question was properly answered and the forms were signed, she said "Okay, honey. You're up in five minutes."

"Cool!" replied an excited Mikuru Asahina.

"You got an outfit?" the manager asked. "You know. A costume? You can't very well go on stage like that for a stripping contest. It kinda defeats the purpose don't you think?"

"I don't think she's going to be doing this," I politely informed the manager. "I'm sorry."

"Yes I am!" Mikuru said.

I showed her the leash. Mikuru immediately lowered her eyes.

"No, I'm not," she corrected herself.

The manager pointed to the back door. "Then you've got get out."

Damn it!

"I was just kidding," I told the manager. Mikuru's eyes lit up and she hopped up and down. Yes, her bouncing breasts were an awesome thing to behold.

The manager just shook her head. "Costume?"

I walked over to Mikuru's coat and pulled out the puppy mask and the matching puppy tail. "Will this do?" I asked the manager as I held it up to her.

The manager laughed. "It's certainly different, but yeah, that'll do."

As Mikuru put the mask over her face, I fashioned the puppy tail into a very poor g-string, wrapping it around her waist, knotting it in the back, and pulling it up between her legs where I pulled it through the belt near her belly button. It didn't really cover anything, which may have been a good thing since it didn't cause Mikuru any discomfort. I draped Mikuru's long hair forward over her shoulders and used it to cover her breasts. When she was properly "dressed" we walked up the steps toward the backstage area. The volume level ratcheted up quickly the higher we got. It looked like the girl currently on stage was just about to wrap things up.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I yelled over the pounding music at Mikuru, who looked incredibly cute in her puppy mask with matching tail.

"Of course!" Mikuru yelled back. "This is going to be fun." She put her hands around my waist and pulled me close. I kissed my nude puppy fully on the lips. "Lead me out there, okay master?"

A man with a headset and a clipboard approached us from the side. I guessed he was the stage manager. He looked at me while I was still holding Mikuru tight and put his hand over the mic at his mouth. "What do you want for music?"

"WHEN THIS IS OVER," Mikuru shouted, "I WANT TO SEE YOUR BIG COCK!" I grimaced as she squeezed my package again.

The stage manager nodded. "Katy Perry!" he yelled into his microphone. "Peacock!"

After a couple minutes of bows and cheering, a very hot naked blond left the stage. She winked at us as I stood there holding Mikuru's leash.

Katy Perry's song "Peacock" started blaring on the sound system's speakers. The drumbeat that opened the song got Mikuru's hips moving ...

_"I wanna see your peacock-cock-cock, your peacock-cock!"  
"Your peacock-cock-cock, your peacock,"  
"I wanna see your peacock-cock-cock, your peacock-cock!"_

... as the announcer's booming voice made the introduction ...

"Now for our next contestant, coming to us all the way from Tokyo, let's give it up for PUPPY!"

_"Word on the street you got something to show me..."_

I walked Mikuru up to the silver pole... and let her go. The crowd of appreciative men and quite a few women, greeted her warmly.

What followed simply amazed me. I've seen the effect the collar has had on three different girls; Yuki, Mikuru and Haruhi. Let me say right up front, I loved what the collar did for all these girls - in particular the way it altered their wardrobe preferences. But when it came to how the collar changed their personalities, the change it make in Mikuru was the most profound.

What happens when you take a girl like Mikuru - who is shy, very pretty, but not all that confident around others - and you strip away all her inhibitions and fear of people? You get this bubbly, fun girl that's totally not afraid to express herself.

And express herself she did. The smoking hot, effectively naked, pet girl dove into what was probably some sort of cheer leading routine she remembered from the past. It fit perfectly with the upbeat Katy Perry song. She twirled her now-dangling tail with her right hand, the leash with her left, as she stepped through some pretty complicated dance moves. I'm not an expert, but it looked amazing from where I was standing.

And the crowd was eating it up! Mikuru wasn't shy about improvising and using her awesome assets to the fullest. There was a little runway at the front of the stage, and Puppy worked it like a pro. Mikuru even playfully smacked away the hand of one guy who managed to get his palm on Puppy's beautiful bare bottom as she was shaking it in his direction. I was pleased to see that the guy was summarily pulled from the crowd by two of the bouncers and shown the door. One of these bouncers, the guy who let us in through the back door, gave me the thumbs up sign. His expression said, _Sorry, won't happen again._

Mikuru worked the pole like a natural as well. The crowd hooted when she squeezed her perfect D's around the silver shaft while shaking her bottom. The men were going crazy, the intensity of their praise only increasing as her routine continued. As the song, and Mikuru's act, wound down to a close, Mikuru pulled off her tail and mask and tossed them to the delighted crowd. When everyone finally saw the beautiful face the puppy mask had been hiding, they clapped all the louder.

When the song ended, Mikuru took a bow. By this time guys were throwing money up on the stage like it was toilet paper. They didn't want her to leave. Mikuru made several trips, scooping up the bills and clutching them to her chest. "Thank you!" she said with that sweet happy smile.

When she was finished, Mikuru ran full speed at me and into my arms. Money flew everywhere as our lips sought and found each other. Fortunately the stage manager made sure not a dollar got lost. "Very nice," he said as handed me a pile of money. He tapped on his earpiece. "The club manager would like to meet her."

I nodded.

"You!" Mikuru said as she grabbed my package. "You owe me, mister!"

After watching Mikuru's act, I was hard as a rock - and ready to pay what I owed.

"Take it down to the dressing room," the stage manager said with a wink and a flip of his thumb.

Mikuru ran down the stairs pulling her master at the other end of the leash down with her. Since Mikuru was the next to last contestant for the show, there was nobody in the dressing room but the lady manager.

Mikuru ran to her station and rested her fingers on the makeup counter. Then she bent over, arched her back, and wiggled her bare bottom sexily. I stepped behind her and dropped my pants.

"You don't mind, do you?" I asked the woman, as I got into position behind Puppy.

"Knock yourself out," she said with a smile. "And clean up after!" She turned and walked up the stairs, leaving behind a scene she had no doubt seen many times before.

I plunged my rod into Mikuru. Her vagina was amazing, gripping me like she owned me. The sex was rough and passionate. Mikuru was loving it, moaning and gasping for air as I fucked her hard. The bent over position was awesome, but I had to see her face. I pulled out of Mikuru, turned her around, and set her bare bottom on the makeup table. She lifted up her knees and spread them, without a word - although her face did clearly say _Fuck me, Kyon! Fuck me! _And I did. Her breasts shook in sync with the intensity of my onslaught, her face bore an expression of bliss. We both came like freight trains, when I finally blew my massive load into her womb.

After regaining our senses, I pulled Mikuru close. She collapsed into my arms. "Thanks, Kyon. That was totally worth the wait."

I held her there for several minutes as we both caught our breath. Then I let her go and stepped back. Thanks to the collar's helpful force field replenishment system, there wasn't much to clean up.

I reached forward and unclipped the chain from the glowing naked girl's leash. Goosebumps formed on her skin within seconds. Mikuru hugged herself and looked around the dressing room for her clothes. When she located them on the counter, the shivering Mikuru's blouse and slacks were back on within a minute.

"I had no idea you could dance like that." I helped Mikuru put on her coat.

"There's alot of things you don't know about me." Mikuru took my arm and kissed me on the cheek. Wasn't that the truth?

"Lets get out of here," I said.

We walked up the steps and were about to open the back alley door when the stage manager stopped us. "Puppy!" he said. "You won the contest!"

"Really?" Mikuru replied with a bright smile. The stage manager jogged toward us.

"Hell yeah. You pegged the applause meter for five full minutes! It's the highest reading we've ever had! The club manager wants to hire you and the owner thinks you'd be perfect to go on the club circuit. He can have you dancing in clubs all over the country."

Mikuru looked up at me. I shrugged. Then she turned back to the stage manager. "Can I think about it?"

"Of course. Here, let me give you a card." The man took out a glossy card and scribbled on the back of it. He handed it to Mikuru. "When you call, just ask for Mr. Ling."

"Thank you." Mikuru bowed to the stage manager - who seemed genuinely touched by her sweet nature. She turned and handed the business card to me. I stuffed it in my pocket on top of the stack of cash.

"Good night, Puppy," he said. "Don't forget this." He handed Mikuru her mask and tail.

We stepped out into the cool night air. I was glad to see that the alley was empty.

"That was so much fun!" Mikuru said. "Thanks for taking me here."

When we got to the street we quickly turned left toward the pharmacy, away from the club. Since we were downtown, I was able to hail a cab fairly easily. I was totally relieved to see that the driver of this cab was different from the one in the cab that got us here. I told our new driver to take us back to the park.

"You were amazing!" I said, as I counted the stack of money. "There's gotta be 15,000 Yen here (about $1500)."

Mikuru held onto my arm and rested her head on my shoulder. "Thanks, Kyon. I'm glad you liked me."

I had no problem paying the fare when we stepped out of the cab back at the park. After a pleasant five minute walk we once again found ourselves sitting on the park bench, pretty much all alone. The park had emptied out considerably during our absence.

I was about to remove the collar when I realized there was something I needed to know. "Hey, Mikuru. What do you want me to do with all this money?" I held the neatly sorted stack of bills out toward her.

"I really feel bad about how Miss Suzumiya always makes you pay for our food and our drinks. I've never had the opportunity to pay my fair share." She pushed the stack toward my chest. "I want you to take this money and use it for that."

"Really?" I was touched by Mikuru's generosity.

"And when you run out, do you think maybe you can take me out dancing again?"

"Let me think about that one," I said. I reached my hands over to Mikuru's neck. She lifted up her hair and let me remove the collar. I quickly stuffed it into my pocket next to the leash.

I used the minute that it took for Mikuru to regain her bearings (I was getting really good at the timing at this point) to consider the best words to say.

"At this point, I think it would probably be safe if you wanted to toss the puppy costume in the garbage," I said. "I'm pretty sure Haruhi has forgotten all about it."

"Huh?" she said. I was getting very used to this response and to having to repeat myself.

"I agree with you," I said. "I think it would be fine if we throw the puppy costume away now. I'm certain Miss Suzumiya won't miss it."

"I said that?" she asked.

"Yes," I replied truthfully, although she actually said this a few months ago.

Mikuru put her hand up to her neck. "Where's the collar?"

"You mean Rousseau's collar? I still have it. You gave it to me." I patted my pocket.

"Rousseau's collar?"

"Right. The collar we use when we take Sakanaka's white terrier out. You know, Rousseau." I gave her a concerned look. "Are you okay?"

"Oh sure," Mikuru said. "I'm fine. Yes, lets throw the puppy costume away." She felt around in her pockets and was pleased when she located the two items. She walked over to the garbage can opposite the bench and tossed the mask and tail into it. She turned back to me with a wide smile and a hop in her gait. "I feel better already!"

"Excellent!" I said. "So, shall we call it a night?" I got up out of my seat.

Mikuru looked up at the starry night sky. "How long have we been out here, Kyon?"

I looked at my watch. "Wow. A few hours already! Where did the time go? Time really flies when I'm walking around this park and talking with you."

Mikuru flashed me a bright smile. "Yes, it does!" Mikuru stretched her arms out to the sides. "I feel like I've had a really good workout as well." She bowed, "Good night, Kyon."

"Good night, Miss Asahina."

Mikuru turned and headed up the path that led toward her home, which was in the opposite direction from my house. I waited at the bench and watched as she walked up the hill and out of sight. Then I turned back toward the garbage can -

"Hi, Kyon."

- and was surprised to see the grown up version of Miss Asahina standing there, the puppy mask and matching tail dangling from her open hand.


	10. Mikuru Finds the Puppy Costume - Part 2

"Miss Asahina! Wow! How long have you been here?"

The grown up Miss Asahina looked amazing as always, wearing a white cardigan sweater over her pink blouse and tan slacks. "I've been watching from behind the trees for the last few minutes." She walked past me toward the park bench and sat down. Then she patted the seat next to her. "Please join me, Kyon."

I sat down. I wasn't sure exactly how uncomfortable the next few minutes were going to be - it had the potential to be pretty bad - so I decided to let my companion do all the talking.

"What brings you here from the future?" I asked. "Official business?"

Miss Asahina laughed. "Not exactly. I'm actually here on my free time. I kind of snuck away."

"Is that allowed?" I asked.

"No. If I got caught doing this they'd take away my TPDD and lock me away for life!" Miss Asahina hugged her chest and looked at me nervously. "But I had to come back here. I really had no choice."

"Why?"

Miss Asahina took a deep breath. "Because, Kyon. This night was a very special night for me. But I can't remember a thing about it."

"Huh?" I pretended to look confused.

She turned toward me with blushing cheeks and said, "I'm certain that this was the night that I lost my virginity. When I got home after leaving from here, I noticed some spotting on my panties. It wasn't anywhere near my time of month. When I noticed an unfamiliar tingling sensation down there as well, the answer soon became rather obvious. I must have had sex."

"You weren't sure, though?" I said, as I tried to figure out a way to handle this.

"No, I wasn't. I spent a lot of time studying up on this. I talked to my doctor. She said that the hymen often gets broken just by being active - doing stuff like gymnastics or riding a bike. I used to dance alot. She thought that probably caused it. I could have left it at that, and I almost did. But it kept nagging at me."

"Why?"

"First of all, because I don't remember being that active. And then, a few years later, when I started to have sex with guys, I remembered the feeling - that tingling feeling that stays with you when the sex is really good. It's not just physical thing, it's very emotional. It's this warm feeling of... _connection_. You never forget it! It was the exact same feeling I had that night," She said as she put out her arms. "And that night is _this_ night! I don't remember a thing about tonight!"

"But why did you come _here_?" I asked. "Why _now_? Why not sooner? You could have followed your younger self around all day, couldn't you?"

Miss Asahina looked me in the eyes. She was very serious. "This trip I'm taking right now is considered 'personal business', which is very illegal. I was only able to manage it because I was recently given a promotion with a higher security clearance. This is a very risky trip for me Kyon. I calculated that I can only sneak away from my time plane for an hour or so without being detected. Anything more and the systems that monitor my TPDD will sound an alert. And I could end up in jail."

Miss Asahina showed me her watch. On it's face was a countdown timer. The large glowing green numbers read "1:07:22, then 1:07:21, 1:07:20..."

"Since being here with you and throwing away the puppy costume were the only things that I remembered clearly, this is where I had to come for answers. If I came any sooner there's a chance I wouldn't even be able to find myself!"

I nodded guiltily as I looked down at the mask and tail on her lap.

Then she came out with it. Miss Asahina put her hand on my shoulder and looked me in the eyes. "Kyon, I need to know. Were you my first love?"

I took a deep breath. This was getting intense. "It's complicated," I finally told her.

"Kyon, I need to know. This thing has been bothering me for more years than I will admit to you. It's been a factor in messing up at least two really special relationships with men in my time plane. Please be honest with me."

"It's a crazy thing," I said. "If I told you what really happened, you probably wouldn't believe me. I wish I could show you what happened, but that's impossible."

"No it's not," Miss Asahina said. "I can get away with one more jump without getting detected. My TPDD is programmed to allow one emergency trip should I need it. It won't get logged, either." She held up her watch. "But it won't keep this clock from counting down. Give me the coordinates."

I pulled out the two items, besides the wad of cash, that I had acquired tonight - a business card from the Pandora Gentlemen's Club and my cab receipt. I handed her the card. "This is where we need to go." Then I checked pickup time on the cab receipt. It wasn't difficult working backwards to peg the start time of Mikuru's performance to within five minutes. I subtracted five more minutes and gave Miss Asahina that time.

"Hang on," she said.

When I opened my eyes, Miss Asahina and I were standing across the street from the nightclub. There were still several people milling about the front of the building. "Follow me," I told her. I jogged across the street, dodging a few cars as I did. Miss Asahina stayed right with me. I trotted up a couple steps and stopped at the box office. "Two please." I stuffed a few bills under the glass.

The woman looked at Miss Asahina and me and waved us in. "Enjoy the show."

The bass beats of the music and the roar of the crowd got louder as we approached the main doors leading to the performance hall. I recognized the sound of the music chosen by the blond girl who performed just before Mikuru. When we stepped through the doors, Miss Asahina's eyes grew wide with shock. The hot blond girl, who was nearly naked at this point, was swinging her bum around with abandon.

"You ain't seen nuthin yet," I said to myself. We stood in the back of the hall, close to the entrance door, and watched as the amateur blond stripper wrapped up her act. Her naked body looked just as hot from this angle. As she walked back toward the stage curtain, and out of sight, I knew she was walking right past Mikuru and me.

The audience clapped as the pulsing drum beat of the club version of Katy Perry's "Peacock" blared from the speakers.

_"Your peacock-cock-cock, your peacock-cock!"_  
_"Your peacock-cock-cock, your peacock! I wanna see your peacock-cock-cock..."_

The announcer shouted, "Now for our next contestant, coming to us all the way from Tokyo, let's give it up, for PUPPY!"

I watched myself leading the puppy-masked Mikuru out to the silver pole by her leash. I looked over at the adult Miss Asahina. Her face was pale, her mouth was wide open in shock.

Once again the younger Mikuru started her routine. It was easily twice as hot from this angle. Her moves were hypnotic, her beauty awe inspiring. The crowd was totally amped, as the stage manager had said. But now that I was in the midst of the cheering crowd, I knew exactly what he meant.

Miss Asahina stood next to me, just mesmerized. She started nodding her head subtly in time with the beat as she watched her younger self dance. Her eyes blinked rapidly and she shook her head slowly as she scanned the adoring audience.

As for me, well I was hard as a rock. And I knew all the guys around me were, too. Just watching Mikuru's awesome breasts bounce in sync with her swaying hips, as she twirled the leash and puppy tail - it nearly made me come right there.

We came to the point in the act where Mikuru danced toward the front of the stage. I watched from another angle as an excited spectator reached out and grazed her beautiful bare bottom with his fingers. Just as I remembered, two bouncers in the audience immediately pounced on the man.

As the bouncers were walking this man out the door, the bouncer who had first greeted the younger Mikuru and me in the alley gave me the most astonished look.

"UMMMFFFF!" the ejected spectator howled as the grown up Miss Asahina punched the man in the stomach. The bouncers looked back at Miss Asahina as the guy buckled over in pain.

"Her sister," I said, pointing to the stage. The bouncer smiled and gave me another thumbs up as they dragged the coughing man outside into the street.

Soon the completely naked and beaming Mikuru tossed her mask and tail into the audience. The money started flying up onto the stage. The sweet girl considerately collected every bill, thanking everyone as she did. Then, after bowing while clutching the bills to her chest, she ran back behind the stage curtain.

Miss Asahina just stood there in shock as the crowd roared around her, begging for an encore. I took her arm and led her out to the street. We took a right turn, walked down to the next building, and sat down on some steps at that building's entrance. Miss Asahina seemed barely able to walk.

"What happened, Kyon?" was the first thing she said. "How could I do that?"

"The collar you were wearing," I replied. "Miss Suzumiya did something to it - and me - so that the person wearing it loses all their inhibitions, and all their desire to wear clothes. You found it and I accidentally activated it. None of this was planned."

She looked into my eyes. "It wasn't the dancing that broke my hymen, was it?"

"No," I admitted. "It's how the collar works. There's only one way to get it off." I put my hand on Miss Asahina's hands. "We're making love right now, in the downstairs dressing room."

Miss Asahina looked over at me with tear filled eyes and nodded. "That was a routine I made up when I was a cheerleader in middle school." She let out a sad chuckle. "Although I see I improvised quite a bit."

Just then, two guys walked past us. "Whoa! Was that Puppy chick smoking hot or what!" one said to the other, oblivious to our presence.

"Hell yeah! I made a huge spank bank deposit from that routine - I'm good for at least a year! You know, I see that dog mask and I'm thinking, ugly face. But she was friggin' gorgeous!"

"And those tits! Incredible…" We watched the guys as they walked out of earshot.

"The stage manager told me you pegged the applause meter longer than anyone - ever," I said. "The club manager wanted to hire you on the spot."

Miss Asahina laughed. Then she turned to me and smiled. "Miss Suzumiya's collar... It made me forget all this?" She grabbed my hand. "And _us_?"

I shrugged. "Yes. I'm sorry."

She looked down at her lap. "Was I... okay?"

My beaming smile instantly brought up her mood. "You were fantastic!" I said with sincere awe. "Fantastic!"

Miss Asahina pulled me close and hugged me. We sat like that for several minutes while she cried into my shoulder.

Then I tapped on her back, pulled away, and pointed. We both watched as a fully dressed Mikuru and I appeared from the alleyway and jogged past the pharmacy toward the intersection. The pharmacy building blocked our view for a few seconds. Then a cab pulled forward through the intersection and made a left turn.

Miss Asahina took a deep breath. She grabbed my arm. "Hang on," she said.

When I opened my eyes, we were once again sitting on the park bench. The puppy mask and tail were back on her lap.

"Thanks for taking me there, Kyon. You're right. I wouldn't have believed you."

I could tell that Miss Asahina was still very emotional. She looked at her watch. It read "35:40".

"Do you still have the collar with you?"

I nodded and patted my jacket pocket.

"Where did I undress?" she asked.

I pointed over to the poorly lit patch of trees where Mikuru stripped just hours ago. "There were a ton of people walking their dogs. We were about to get found out so I had to get us out of here."

Miss Asahina looked around. The park was desolate now. "Can I see the collar?"

"Okay." I backed away from her and pulled the collar and leash from my pocket. "But don't touch it, or the whole process will start again."

"I understand," she said as she looked it over from a safe distance. "So this collar was the catalyst for our sex?"

I thought that was an interesting way to put it. I nodded.

She took my hand and we walked over to the trees. "We were right here?" she asked, pointing to the ground.

"Yeah, that's about right."

Miss Asahina hugged herself tightly. "No. If I hadn't seen it for myself, I would not have believed you." She giggled. "I really haven't changed much at all. I'm getting frightened just standing here and thinking about being naked. I'd even melt if I were in my underwear!" Despite the dim lighting, I could see that she was blushing brightly from embarrassment.

Miss Asahina shook her head clear, came up to me, and gave me a hug. "Thanks for helping me fill in the blanks, Kyon." She took a deep breath. "There's just one more thing I need to do."

She removed her watch and fastened it around a low branch. We could see the glowing clock counting down. She tapped the watch's cover a few times in specific places. Suddenly the watch emitted an eerie green cone of sparkling light. The barely visible cone enveloped the immediate area and caused the grass to glow.

"I've set this watch to produce a force field dampening perimeter." She waved her hand over the glowing grass. "While I'm within the confines of the beam, any force fields will be neutralized." She turned back to me. "Kyon, I need you to promise me that you won't let me go out of this area for any reason."

I shrugged and nodded. What the hell? I checked around for charging elephants. I didn't see anything that was going to knock her out of the beam.

"Can I see the collar?" she asked with an outstretched hand.

"Are you sure you want to do that?" I asked. "After all, not even Nagato was able to turn off the force field." _While you were wearing it and begging me to let you strip_, I didn't add.

"Trust me, Kyon. I know what I'm doing."

I semi-reluctantly handed the collar to the beautiful woman standing before me. Heck, what's the worst that could happen, right?

"Leash too, please."

I handed her the leash. She clipped it to the collar. Then she fastened the collar about her neck. She held the leash and analyzed it in the green light. Although it glowed along with the rest of her body, there seemed to be nothing special about the leash.

"Okay, please come here." Miss Asahina held out the end of the leash. Then she took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

When I took hold of the end loop, I immediately felt power surge through my arm and into the leash.

"Did you feel that?" I asked.

"No," Miss Asahina replied, opening her eyes. She looked at me. "Did that do it?"

I shrugged. "It's hard to tell at first. Normally the girl gets a strong desire to take her clothes off. It usually comes the same time that her skin starts to flush bright red. After a while it gets to be like a rash."

Then I noticed Miss Asahina's face start to flush.

"Yeah," I said. "Just like that."

Miss Asahina's eyes got glassy. She stepped back, pulled off her sweater, and tossed it on the ground. Then she started unbuttoning her blouse. I looked at the watch. We were both still standing in the cone of light it was projecting.

"I don't think it's working I said," as the blouse hit the ground and she started removing her slacks.

Miss Asahina didn't say a word. She just kept removing her clothes.

"Holy crap!" I said. My eyes widened with wonder as she stood before me wearing only a lacy bra and matching panties. Those two items disappeared in the next ten seconds.

The older Miss Asahina was every bit as beautiful as her younger counterpart. She stood a little bit taller and in some ways the structure of her body seemed better defined. But now that she stood before me naked, I could see - this was all Mikuru. The differences were minimal.

The naked girl walked up to me, put her arms around me, and ground her full perfect and still-large breasts into my chest. "Have sex with me," she whispered as she looked up into my eyes.

Oh damn, I thought to myself. It looked like the worst case scenario happened after all. WOW!

I knew better than to argue with the girl. I was out of my clothes in three seconds flat. Miss Asahina pulled me down onto the ground on top of her.

"YES!" she screamed as I plunged my rod inside of her and started thrusting. I stopped and quickly looked around. The park was still desolate. No one heard her.

"Yes, Kyon. Yes, Kyon, YEEEES!"

I had to admit, I was loving the cheerleading section.

After several minutes with me on top, Miss Asahina pulled me toward her, rolled me over, and took charge on top of me. Her breasts bounced amazingly as she rode me like a bronco. She smiled as I reached up and took hold of her beautiful globes.

I was getting very close to coming. I think Miss Asahina could tell.

"No, Kyon. Please not yet. Could you finish me from behind?"

I almost never turned down any request from a girl at the other end of my leash, so I nodded.

Miss Asahina got on all fours and laid her head in her arms on the ground, sticking her magnificent bare bottom right at me. I got up behind her and plunged my rod deep inside her vagina. She gasped with pleasure as I worked us both toward a crushing orgasm. The eerie green glow of the watch lighting up Miss Asahina's incredible body made the moment seem even more surreal than it already was.

The ground seemed to shake as both powerfully climaxed. As her vagina gripped my cock, I pumped Miss Asahina full with everything I had. When the waves of pleasure receded, we both fell over onto our sides.

"You know what?" I told Miss Asahina. "Sex with you never gets old."

Miss Asahina laughed and curled up next to me in the grass.

I looked up at the watch. Although the green cone made it difficult to see, when I squinted I could see that the clock was counting down to the last few minutes, "19:59, 19:58, 19:57..." I wasn't sure how much time she'd need to get back. As much as I hated to do it, I pulled the leash clip from Miss Asahina's collar. Almost immediately goosebumps formed on her skin and she scrambled around for her clothes. I did the same.

"Don't forget your watch," I reminded her, as I pulled up my pants.

The watch on Miss Asahina's wrist read "17:02" when we were both once again sitting on the park bench, happy and exhausted.

"Please lift up your hair and turn," I told my now fully dressed companion, who complied without a word. Miss Asahina's smiling eyes were still alive with wonder when I removed the collar, but I immediately sensed the changes occurring in her.

The clock read "15:58" when Miss Asahina turned toward me with that familiar blank stare. "Was that it?" she asked. "Did we do it?"

"Yes." I reached over and tapped on the watch. "This thing doesn't have a force field inhibitor on it, does it?"

Miss Asahina gave me a shy, embarrassed smile. "Nope. Sorry I kind of tricked you just now." She tapped the watch a couple of times. "It's actually a 3-D video recorder."

All of a sudden a three dimensional image of the dim grass patch appeared before our eyes, hovering in mid air. I watched with amazement as I beheld a tiny version of myself holding Miss Asahina's leash while she was taking off her clothes. The real life Miss Asahina held my arm tight and blushed a good bit as we watched the show together.

"Oh my," she said, as we started to get it on in earnest.

Except for the orgasm at the end, watching the replay with Miss Asahina was nearly as fun as doing the real thing. A tiny but very hot Miss Asahina was moaning softly as I energetically fucked her from behind, doggy style.

"Kyon. You are so good at this," she whispered sincerely.

After watching the lifelike characters in the 3-D video lay side by side for a few minutes, Miss Asahina shut off the feed.

Miss Asahina kissed me on the cheek. "Thanks, Kyon. That was wonderful."

"But why?" I had to ask.

"Because I needed those memories." She tapped her watch. "And now I have them."

She pulled me forward and kissed me fully on the lips. Then she pulled away and looked me in the eyes. "I'm glad you were my first," she said. "I couldn't imagine anybody better."

The readout on her watch was now counting down the last ten seconds. "00:09, 00:08, 00:07..."

"I love you," she said with tear-filled eyes, as she brushed her hand against my cheek.

And then everything went black.

When I opened my eyes, I was all alone. The puppy mask and matching tail were gone.


	11. Ryoko Asakura Returns

"Anything good on television last night?" I asked Haruhi.

We were sitting in home room at our usual seats in the back of the classroom by the windows, about fifteen minutes before class was about to start. This was becoming one of my favorite parts of the day, since I got to hang out and catch up with Haruhi. Although the topics of our conversations often ranged from the crazy to the insane, they were usually quite normal - on the surface.

Haruhi still didn't have a clue about her secret other life under the influence of the collar. I don't know if she was really clueless, or if at some subconscious level she simply wouldn't let herself catch on - I suspected the latter. Don't get me wrong. I was certainly careful. But Haruhi was a very smart girl.

I payed close attention to our small talk, because Haruhi would often share hints and tips or other clues as to her deeper feelings. Haruhi didn't know she was doing this, but I could often pick out the thoughts of her Other Self coming through - this Other Self that I first really got to know at our private picnic before the music festival. Make no mistake about it, this Other Self was all Haruhi. She just knew more about who she was and spent all of her time with me naked.

"No," Haruhi replied. "There was nothing good on. So I decided to go through some of my old books, the ones I read when I was a little kid. And I came across this really creepy story that I just couldn't figure out. It's about a scorpion and a frog. They're standing at the side of this river. The scorpion wants to get across, so he asks the frog if he could hitch a ride on the frog's back. The frog says 'No way! You'll sting me!". But the scorpion replies 'Why would I do that? If I sting you, you'll sink and we'll both die.'"

"So what happened?" I asked.

"The frog decides to give him a ride. But in the middle of the river, the scorpion stings the frog anyway! So they both die! Is that creepy or what?"

"It's just a fable."

Haruhi frowned. "Well, I didn't like it. So I went and checked it out online. Turns out there's another version of the story. In this version, instead of a frog there's a tortoise. And this tortoise senses that the scorpion is trying to sting him through his shell. So he dives down and drowns the scorpion." Haruhi crossed her arms over her chest. "Now that makes sense!"

"What's the point?" I asked. "Wouldn't it be smarter to just stay away from the scorpion altogether?"

Haruhi shrugged. "Maybe that's not an option. The point is, a scorpion is always going to be a scorpion - it's not his fault. But if you know you're going to have to mess with one, it's smarter to be a tortoise than a frog!"

See what I mean? That's the kind of thing I would get from Haruhi all the time.

"I wonder what Canada's like," Haruhi said, quickly switching gears. "I hear it's always cold."

"I hear it's a beautiful place with a lot of history. Why are you interested in Canada?" I asked. "Do you want to visit?"

"You didn't hear the news did you?" Haruhi pointed toward the door. "She just got back from there."

I turned white as a sheet when I saw the person Haruhi was pointing to. I froze, paralyzed with fear, when Ryoko Asakura stepped into the classroom and walked directly up to us.

"Are you okay, Kyon?" Haruhi asked. She put her hand on my shoulder and shook it. Soon the always bubbly Ryoko Asakura stood in front of us with a big happy smile on her face. I wasn't able to answer Haruhi. I was too busy scanning the classroom for the best direction to bolt away. But Asakura was blocking me.

"Welcome back," Haruhi said, politely but without much energy.

"Hi Haruhi," Ryoko replied. "How have things been with you? It's been a long time."

"Good, I guess." Haruhi poked me in the shoulder. "For some reason Kyon seems a little out of sorts. I don't know why, though. He's usually more talkative."

"Let me take a stab at that," Ryoko said, turning her face toward me. "I think it's because Kyon missed me!"

"Get... away... from... me... NOW!" I screamed. I managed to get the whole class's attention. Even Haruhi looked at me with a shocked expression.

Ryoko just shrugged. "I was just trying to be friendly," she said, "but if you're going to be a grouch..." She turned away and walked back toward the rest of my classmates, all of whom were excited to see that Ryoko Asakura had returned.

* * *

"What's going on?" I asked Nagato, right after bursting into the SOS Brigade clubroom.

Nagato put down her book and turned to me. "My recent malfunction has emboldened certain factions within the Data Integration Thought Entity. It has been decided that I can no longer be trusted to observe Haruhi Suzumiya on my own."

I harkened back to that time, when this diminutive person sitting before me changed the entire world. I remembered it well - when I thought Haruhi had disappeared, when neither Miss Asahina or Koizumi knew who I was, and when Nagato was just a normal shy bookworm. Heck, I could hardly blame them. If I were the Data Integration Thought Entity, I would have some major concerns myself.

"But why choose that psychotic, murderous bitch!" I asked. "Can't they just send someone else thats nice, like you?"

"I have no control over their decisions."

"Have they _fixed _her?" I asked. "You know, so she doesn't try to kill me again?"

"She has been instructed to observe. Only observe. They have promised me that she will not attempt to hurt you."

"And you believe them?" I asked, shaking my head as I looked out the window.

"..."

* * *

Haruhi was content. She'd exuded this contentment for months now and people were actually starting to get used to it. I was also managing well. My heart-to-heart talk with Haruhi before the music festival gave me the perspective I needed keep on. Now that I knew there was an endgame, I was totally determined to stay the course. And I found that I was really enjoying the course.

Koizumi hadn't had a sleepless night for months. I was loving my regular lunch breaks with the sexy new Nagato, who no longer needed to give me any more four percent boosts. I figured Haruhi would understand. After all, I owed this amazing girl my life.

Everyone seemed content.

Well, Mikuru _seemed _content. I had trouble shaking the guilt I felt over what I'd done to her, though. In my heart I knew our passionate sexual union was completely accidental. I acted in the heat of the moment with an exceedingly hot and willing accomplice. But I could have gotten the collar off a different way. After all the incredible sex I'd been having with Haruhi and Nagato, I just wasn't thinking about it.

Though she seemed a little off at first, Mikuru reverted back to her normal upbeat self after a few weeks. My guess was that she accepted the only logical explanation available to her - the one the doctor had posited.

I also knew in my heart that the older Miss Asahina now had closure, and that her life was going to move forward. I wondered if I would ever see her again. I sometimes imagined myself attending her wedding. Although, if I were _that _lucky guy standing next to her at the altar, I wouldn't have wanted me to be there.

Overall things were going very, very well. And that meant that there was only one person who _wouldn't _be happy...

Ryoko Asakura.

It scared the hell out of me.

I knew what it felt like to get a knife shoved into my gut. It wasn't a pleasant feeling. And I knew that my options with respect to the psychotic Ryoko Asakura were limited. Despite Nagato's amazing ability to manipulate data, Asakura was back - and she had the backing of Nagato's bosses. I couldn't count on her to protect me. I knew I had to do something to allay my fears.

The meeting was my idea.

* * *

Ryoko Asakura walked into the classroom holding a note in her hand. She giggled when she saw Nagato and I standing by the chalkboard. Ryoko looked down and read the note.

"After school, when everyone has left, come to the 1-5 classroom," she said. "Now isn't that ironic?" She looked over at Nagato. "Are we going to battle again?"

Nagato stood beside me, emotionless and silent.

"Miss Asakura," I said. "I'm the person who set up this meeting. Nagato has informed me about your assignment, and although I honestly wish they would have sent anybody but you, I know there's nothing I can do about it."

Asakura listened politely, a warm smile on her face.

"I know there's been a little bit of tension between us," I continued, "but I'm willing to let bygones be bygones... if you are."

"I don't have any bad feelings toward you, Kyon," Asakura said. "And I completely understand why you wouldn't feel comfortable around me. Please know that I have no intention of harming you in any way."

She said these words so pleasantly it made me want to puke.

"I think it's wonderful how well you and Miss Suzumiya seem to be getting along now. You two make a very lovely couple. I can tell that she's a very happy girl."

Asakura looked around the classroom. Then at Nagato.

"Yes, the data flow from Miss Suzumiya has wound down to a mere trickle of what it once was... in more exciting times." She rapped her knuckles on one of the desks. "But I have no desire to do battle with Miss Nagato. I've learned my lesson about insubordination."

Asakura looked wistfully out the window. Then she turned toward Nagato with a sweet smile - though it was coupled with this eerie icy glare. "Although _were _a next time to occur - which of course won't happen - I won't make the same mistakes."

Yes, that statement made my blood curdle. Nagato didn't bat an eye.

"So you don't have to worry about me," Asakura assured me cheerfully. "Still, I'm very curious." Asakura sat on a desk, crossed her legs and bent forward. "Do you have any idea why Miss Suzumiya is suddenly so content?"

* * *

If there was one thing I took away from my meeting with Ryoko Asakura, it was this - like the proverbial scorpion, she had not changed.

Despite this, in many ways it was actually sort of nice having Asakura back. She had always been a very upbeat, sweet and popular girl. When she left us, her presence was sorely missed. And now that Asakura was back, I noticed quite a lift in the general well being of the entire class. I guess what I'm saying is, when Ryoko Asakura isn't trying to kill people, she can be a really wonderful person.

Taniguchi, who had given her a double A+ rating, was truly ecstatic that she was back. In fact, Ryoko Asakura was all he ever talked about. Unfortunately, she was still way out of his league.

I sometimes wondered if Taniguchi would view her the same way after she stuck a knife in his gut.

* * *

As you can tell, I had absolutely no doubt that killing me in order to relieve herself of the stifling boredom was in Ryoko Asakura's nature. It was just a matter of time. Somehow even Haruhi knew this, and she had done her best to warn me.

The moment of truth came oddly enough only six weeks after Asakura's return. I seriously thought she'd be able to hold out much longer than that.

I found the note in my shoe box. Asakura made no effort to disguise her handwriting, or her modus operandi. "After school, when everyone has left, come to the 1-5 classroom."

When I walked through the classroom door at around 5:30, Ryoko Asakura was standing at the chalkboard once again. It totally gave me chills.

"Where is Miss Nagato?" was the first thing she asked.

"Your note was addressed to me," I said, as I held it up. "It doesn't say anything about Nagato."

Ryoko Asakura gave me a slightly confused look, then a nodding smile. "Well good for you! You're much braver than I thought you'd be. Oh well." She put her hands up to her mouth and giggled. "I guess I went through an awful lot of trouble for nothing then." She shrugged. "But that's okay."

"What are you talking about?" I asked. "What trouble?"

Suddenly the classroom's walls started to glow. They slowly morphed from their solid opaque essence into these fluctuating transparent energy fields. The floor and ceiling changed as well, morphing into solid glass-like slabs. The contents of the classroom remained unchanged.

"I was going to kill you both. It took me a long time to design and construct this room. In here Nagato would have been completely powerless. But it's not important. Once you're dead, there won't be anything she can do." As she extended her arm, a long gleaming knife materialized in her hand.

I hopped up onto a desk and sat down. "You know," I said. "If you kill me Haruhi's going to be really, really pissed."

"Yes, of course she will! It will create a data tsunami!" the psycho girl said gleefully. She walked toward me slowly. "You don't seem to be very upset about this. You put up a much harder fight last time." Ryoko Asakura pointed up at the ceiling. "There's no way Nagato can break into this data space this time. I've taken special precautions. Nobody's coming to rescue you."

I held up my palms and shrugged. "Hey, maybe I'm getting a little tired of all this myself. My story has to end somewhere, right? Why not here?"

Asakura looked totally confused. "I must admit that I don't really understand organic life forms at all. This is not what I expected."

"Sorry," I said. "Don't misunderstand me. This is definitely not the way I want to check out of this world."

"No, of course not."

"But if it's what you feel you have to do..." I said.

"There really is no other way. I'm glad you understand, Kyon." She walked toward me and stopped between the two desks across the aisle from me. Then she extended her knife. "Are you ready to die?"

"Wait!" I said, holding up my palm. "Let me first say, I really hope this Haruhi Suzumiya data flood thing works out for you."

She gave me a sweet smile. "Thanks, Kyon! But we really need to get this over with. Good bye now."

I waved at the girl. "Bye bye."

Ryoko lunged at me with the knife, aiming it directly at my heart. She got to within about two feet when she suddenly stopped. She stood straight up and gave me the most confused look. Then she tried to move toward me again - but couldn't.

"Well now this is interesting. I don't seem to be able to kill you." She looked around me and behind me. "I don't see any barriers or sense any force fields. Which makes perfect sense since I am in complete control of this data space." Ryoko dropped her hands at her sides. "I'm sorry, Kyon. I really don't understand this."

I shrugged. "I can't exactly say I'm disappointed." I held out my hand. "Knife, please," I asked politely, although I really didn't need to be polite.

"Why can't I kill you?" Ryoko looked completely bewildered as she took hold of the blade with her fingers and handed me the knife by it's handle.

"Let me ask you a question." I tossed the razor sharp knife from one hand to the other. "Do you think that getting stabbed by you is something that would please me?"

Ryoko giggled. "No silly. Of course not! But that never stopped me in the past."

I set the knife on the desk. Then I stepped forward and put my hands over Ryoko Asakura's blouse, squeezing her breasts through the fabric. Though she gave me the most shocked and bewildered look, she made no effort to move away.

"You've got an amazing body." I let go of her breasts, put out my arms, and motioned toward the glowing walls. "And since you've so graciously provided us with a very private setting, I think it would be great if you took your clothes off." I stepped back and sat down on the desk. "Make it slow and sexy."

"Okay," Ryoko nodded, as her hands moved to unbutton her blouse.

I watched the show from my perch on the desk. "I had a pretty good idea this day was going to come," I said. "And you held out for six weeks. Bravo!" I clapped my hands together slowly. "Now that you've played your hand, I suppose it's time I show you mine."

* * *

Haruhi presciently told me what I needed to know. The scorpion had arrived to meet me at the river bank. I had the option to be a tortoise or a frog.

I chose to be a tortoise.

Remember that meeting Nagato and I had with Ryoko Asakura? I only told you about the first part of that meeting, _the part that Ryoko remembered_. Here's the rest of the story.

So, getting back to that conversation Nagato, Asakura and I were having in classroom 1-5...

"Still I'm very curious," Asakura said as she sat on a desk, crossed her legs and bent forward. "Do you have any idea why Miss Suzumiya is suddenly so content?"

"It's because of this." I pulled the collar out of my pocket. Then I walked toward Ryoko and handed it to her. Humanoid data interface or not, I knew what was going to happen when she took the collar. I learned from my (very pleasant) experience with Nagato that Ryoko Asakura was no match for Haruhi Suzumiya's magic. "Here, I'll help you with it," I said as Miss Asakura lifted her hair out of the way.

Nagato locked the classroom door as I attached the leash clip to Ryoko's collar. I felt the surge of energy travel from my arm into the leash. Though it didn't register with her at first, Ryoko Asakura was soon stripping out of her sailor uniform. Damn this girl was hot, I said to myself when her bra and panties hit the floor. If Taniguchi were here right now, he'd up that rating to a _triple_ A+, or higher.

I took a deep breath as the naked angel - admittedly, a dark naked angel - walked toward me. She put her hands around my neck. I held her waist with my left hand and ran my right hand through her beautiful waist length hair.

"Kyon," she said, a little confused, as she ground her hips into mine, "I really want to have sex with you. Could we please do that?"

No, dear readers, this never gets old. My arms were holding yet another hot naked female North High student. "Damn," I said as I turned toward Yuki. "Tell your Data Integration Thought Entity bosses they really know how to manufacture humanoid interfaces."

Yuki crossed her arms. I think I saw a look of disapproval. "I don't think that would be wise," she said. "I believe we have work to do?"

By this time my hands were squeezing the giggling Ryoko's perfect boobs. "Oh right, that." I grabbed the leash and stepped back. "Okay, Ryoko. On your knees. And stay very still." She obeyed, though she continued to look up at me with confused pleading eyes.

"I will now reprogram the Ryoko Asakura humanoid interface." Nagato spread her fingers out on top of Ryoko's head, placing her thumb over Ryoko's forehead.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Ryoko said sweetly. "You'll find that altering my programming is quite impossible. You see I've recently been upgraded with multi-quantic security protocols. They're engaged at every level of my kernel. You won't get very far!" She giggled.

"Oh double darn!" I said, as I looked down at the leash in my hand. "What are we gonna do about that?" I turned to Yuki. "Nagato, why didn't you tell me about this multi-quantum protocol stuff -"

"Multi-_quantic_," Ryoko corrected me.

"Whatever," I said. "Why didn't you tell me about those darn protocols?"

Yuki gave me a semi-angry look and kicked me in the leg. I knelt down in front of my obedient nude pet. "Look Rokey, about those protocols." I reached forward and pinched her nipple. She yelped. Then I pointed at the pile of clothes on the floor. "You don't seem too attached to your sailor uniform. What do you say you let those protocols down for a little while as well?"

Ryoko gave me a pained, fearful look. She held out for as long as she could - about three seconds. "Yes, Master." She closed her eyes for a moment and nodded.

"Yuki?" I asked.

"She has complied." Then Yuki started to speak rapidly using unintelligible words.

"Be careful," I said. "You don't want to mess with this collar."

"Yes. I understand."

Nagato stood silently for several minutes as she worked to reprogram the Ryoko Asakura humanoid interface. Suddenly her face took on an expression of stunned shock - at least for Nagato. This did not look good.

"Nagato, are you okay?" I stepped toward her, ready to pull her away from Ryoko.

Nagato held out her palm. "I am fine. Please do not approach me."

"You don't look fine. What's going on? Tell me something!"

Yuki gave me a perplexed look. "The collar's programming is taking over. I think it recognizes me and understands my purpose. When Asakura's defenses were disengaged, the intruding data stream... just flooded in."

I held up the leash. "Are you telling me this thing has a mind of its own?"

"I do not know."

"Huh?" Now I was confused. And worried. "The plan was for you to go in and make it so she wouldn't hurt me again. Can you still do that?"

"That is now impossible," Yuki replied. "I can only observe."

"Are you safe?" I asked.

"Yes. The intruder trusts me."

The Ryoko Asakura humanoid interface sat obediently and contentedly as the changes were made to her programming by the collar, at what seemed to be the direction of Yuki Nagato. Though she didn't seem to be aware of how she was doing it.

"It is done," Nagato finally said.

"What does that mean?" I asked.

Nagato looked up at me. "The collar has irrevocably inserted its programming into every facet of Ryoko Asakura's digital persona." She lifted her hand off of Ryoko's forehead. "You are now her master."

"WHAT?" I nearly fell off of my seat. "You mean like forever? Without the collar?" I dropped the leash to the floor and stepped back. "So she's going to be running around school totally naked from now on?"

"If you wish it."

I caught my breath and looked down at the gorgeous humanoid interface kneeling in front of me.

"Whoa! That is so cool!" I moved my hand to the leash clip at Ryoko's collar. "So I don't even need this leash anymore." I tried to remove it, but the clip was not budging. I turned back to Nagato. "Looks like the collar still needs to get paid."

Nagato nodded.

I ran my hand over Ryoko's head and through her long soft hair. "You're okay with a blowjob?"

"Oh sure, Kyon. I would love that!" Ryoko said cheerfully as she reached for my pants.

"No, not you!" I turned to Nagato. "You don't mind, Yuki?"

"I understand," Nagato replied. "It must be done."

I started unbuckling my pants. Which was a little difficult now that Ryoko was "attacking" me. But I managed.

"Sex after?" Yuki asked with a slight tilt of the head. Despite her emotionless expression, I sensed some intense jealousy as her nude subordinate counterpart tugged down my boxer shorts.

"I would love that," I answered with a sincere smile. "I don't know exactly what just happened," I motioned down at Ryoko, "but I'm pretty sure you just saved my life again."

Yuki nodded.

Ryoko pounced on my rigid rod before my boxers hit the floor. I have to hand it to those DITE humanoid interface designers. Their girls give fantastic blowjobs. Watching the naked hot psycho killer on her knees, bobbing up and down on me, was a rush. It didn't take long before my semen was streaming down the beaming girl's throat.

I unclipped the leash and stood back as Ryoko Asakura quickly got dressed. Then I guided her back onto the desk and had her cross her legs. As I walked around the pleasantly smiling girl, I asked her, "Do you feel okay?"

"Oh sure." She giggled. "I feel just fine." She ran her hand over my hip. "Thanks for letting me blow you. That was so much fun! Would you like another one? I don't mind."

"That's okay, Ryoko. That one was very good."

I motioned for her to lift up her hair and I removed the collar. I pocketed it next to the leash.

Watching the exceedingly hot Ryoko Asakura's eyes as she sat before me, I didn't know what to expect. I waited the requisite minute until I was sure she was with us again.

"So I don't have to worry about you trying to kill me now?" I asked.

Ryoko smiled sweetly. "Of course not, Master." Then she started to blush. Her confused expression said _Did I just say that? _Ryoko put her hand to her mouth. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I called you that just now. This is so embarrassing."

"Okay, here's the thing," I said. "Don't call me that in public."

"Yes, Mas-"

"Just Kyon is fine."

"Yes, Kyon."

I looked over at Nagato who was standing by the chalkboard. "She'll do anything?"

Yuki nodded. "Yes. And I believe she will delete whatever you direct her to forget."

"Just like the collar?"

Yuki nodded.

"Ryoko, please flash me those awesome boobs again."

Ryoko smiled. "Sure, Kyon." And she started unbuttoning her blouse.

"WHAP!" Just then a chalkboard eraser bounced off the side of my head. I turned back for a second to see Yuki with her arms crossed over her chest and a frown on her face.

"Never mind," I said. I sat down in front of her and looked into her eyes. "Now listen closely, Miss Asakura. Here's what I would like you to do. Forget the part just now where you called me your master. Just remember the part where you agreed to leave me alone. And then just go on being yourself."

"Okay, Kyon. I can do that."

I turned back to Nagato. "Do I have to instruct her to not hurt me or anything, or is that all programmed in?"

"You are her master. Though she is not cognizant of it, she can not do anything her new programming perceives to be against your will."

"Sweet."

* * *

So we were able to manage six weeks before Ryoko, like that scorpion on that frog - correction: on that _tortoise _- revealed her true nature. You might think I took things a little too lightly when she came at me with the knife, but I knew her thrust wasn't going anywhere. After all, I had tested her from time to time.

I'd ask Ryoko to do special things for me. Out of my devotion to Yuki, I never took advantage of Ryoko sexually - well, not _too _badly. True, a three-way with two DITE chicks was a continual fantasy of mine. But I already had my hands full juggling Haruhi and Yuki.

At least once a week I'd ask Ryoko to do something for me. No, not stuff like "Go get me some tea" or "Can you help me with this math problem?". I mean fun stuff, like "I wanna see your boobs". Ryoko had an amazing ass and I loved asking her to drop her panties and flash it to me now and then. And that hair! I so wanted to see it in a ponytail, but I held off on that. I didn't want her to compete with Haruhi.

And yeah, I snuck in an occasional after school blowjob in room 1-5 once in a while. I admit it! Seriously, you've got a girl as hot as Ryoko Asakura under your complete control... well you don't just make a girl like that do your laundry!

Yuki assured me the code produced by the collar was far too complex to eradicate without destroying the entire humanoid interface - and even trying that could lead to unforeseen consequences for the entity trying to eradicate it. In addition, she told me this new code was basically everywhere yet it was undetectable, changing and moving as if it had a life of its own. Nagato wasn't even sure how it worked.

During our reprogramming session, Nagato said the collar seemed to know what she wanted and it helped her attain her goal. Which made sense in a strange of way since the collar's power came from my balls. It would be natural for me to want to protect those guys.

Despite Yuki's assurances, I still insisted on regular Asakura testing. Living with the collar had made me a pro at clandestine sexual encounters. Following those guidelines, whatever I asked Ryoko to do, I always asked her to forget it afterwards. My directives to forget were handled subtly and cleanly - as if it were being done by the collar. Nagato said Ryoko was probably calling the same blank space replacement algorithm.

* * *

So six weeks passed. And now I was standing there, in the room with the glowing walls and a transparent glass floor and ceiling, tossing this sharp knife back and forth. In front of me stood triple A+ gorgeous Ryoko Asakura - without her clothing.

This time forgetting wasn't going to work. She had once again crossed the line. It was time to let her in on what she already knew at a much deeper level -

I was the Boss.

So I'm standing there, and I'm finding myself feeling sorry for the girl. Sure, she's a psychotic killer who'd snuff out a life for a cheap stream of data. But a scorpion is always going to be a scorpion.

Something told me that there was more to this girl than that.

"Turn around and cross your wrists behind your back," I said.

A very shocked but humbled Ryoko Asakura obeyed me instantly. I wrapped my tie around her wrists, tying her arms tightly behind her back. Then I turned her to face me.

I grabbed the naked girl's left breast with my free hand and put the knife underneath it. "How would you like it if I cut this off?" Ryoko's eyes grew wide with fear. "And then I wouldn't let you regenerate another one. Would you like that?"

Hey, I'm sorry if I seem crazy here, but I knew I had to make a statement to get through to this girl. I knew I needed to scare her as much as she scared me.

"Oh my no!" she replied with tear-filled, frightened eyes. "Please don't do that." I pressed the knife blade up into the bottom of her breast, accidentally breaking the skin. "EEEEEEEEEEE! Please don't hurt me! Please!" the helpless girl pleaded.

I pulled back the knife, which now had blood smeared on it. "You don't like pain? Well you know what? The pain felt by inorganic digital entities means nothing to me."

Ryoko Asakura gave me a guilty look as the words sunk in.

"No bitch," I said. "There's more to this world than what _you _experience," I held the knife up to her throat, "or your ridiculous desire for data. If you're so fucking bored all the time, go see a movie like the rest of us. Or go out and have some fun with your friends. And keep this fucking knife at home!" I moved my face close to hers so that our noses nearly touched. "YOU GOT THAT?"

Ryoko looked down at her feet. "Yes, Master."

"NO IT'S KYON, DAMN IT!"

I stepped back and caught myself. I was starting to lose it. This wasn't right. This wasn't what I had planned. This wasn't me.

You know what? I was doing exactly the same thing she had done to me; selfishly threatening a helpless, incapacitated person with a very sharp knife. I decided I had to be better than that.

"I'm sorry," I told her. I pointed to the cut on her breast. "Please repair that." It healed almost instantly.

I don't know what got into me. I know I can get passionate sometimes but I was embarrassed at how far I'd gone. Still, I knew I had to make a statement.

When I looked up and saw Ryoko's genuinely sad, tear-filled eyes, I was pretty sure I had.

* * *

Now that I was no longer instructing Ryoko to forget things and she was fully aware of the score, I told her that any reports back to the Data Integration Thought Entity would be rosy and positive. Nagato confirmed that she complied with my wishes cheerfully and happily.

Don't get me wrong. Asakura was certainly shocked when this new aspect of her world opened up to her - namely, the fact that I was now her unrivaled master - but she quickly adjusted when she became fully aware as to the depth and complexity of the changes made to her. There was nothing she could do about it. The newly installed Kyon Ball Protector software, Version 1.0, could not be uninstalled. I was her master for the rest of her life. Or maybe my life, I wasn't sure how that worked.

Anyway, I had way too much on my plate with the SOS Brigade to be messing with around with Ryoko Asakura, so I decided to make Taniguchi's day. I "convinced" the hottest girl in school to be interested in him. Taniguchi had always been a trusted and loyal friend. He was the one who helped me find Haruhi Suzumiya when I thought she had disappeared. So why not spread some of the wealth?

I was pleased to see them regularly walking down the hall together, his watch on her wrist. They both actually seemed very happy.

"Something's not right there," Haruhi said. "What does Asakura see in a dweeb like Taniguchi?"

Which stung a little bit, because I had always thought Taniguchi and I ran in the same circles. But it didn't sting _that_ much. After all, what did this gorgeous girl wearing the yellow hairband see in someone like me?

"I guess there's just no accounting for taste when it comes to love," I said.


	12. Project Inoculation

I felt very small walking onto court number 17 at the Nakamichi Tennis Center. This complex was enormous! I gazed up at the vast expansive ceiling. Countless evenly spaced rows of high intensity floodlights stared back down at me like hundreds of mini suns. The things people will go through to get out of the rain - and it wasn't even raining! I sat down on the wooden bench at center court facing the net. The sounds of tennis filled the air around me.

"Whap!" … "Whump!" ... "Whap!" … "Whump!" … "Whack!"

"OUT!" one of the guys in the court next to me yelled. Despite the dry weather, every court was taken. No doubt many folks reserved their courts weeks or even months in advance to insure they'd have something fun to do over the weekend. Somehow my date managed to reserve one of the nicest courts at the last minute, due to an unexpected cancellation.

I was glad I had a reservation, because several people were already milling about in the lounge area near the entrance, no doubt hoping some player would sprain their ankle or have a heart attack, releasing a court. There were open courts available outside, but who wants to play in the blinding hot sun when you can enjoy your game in air-conditioned comfort?

I felt really bad for this one couple who were yelling out their lungs at the poor counter attendant because someone had accidentally switched their reservation to the following weekend. Eventually, the attendant was able to set them up on one of the outdoor courts, but they still weren't very happy. And I could see why. These indoor courts were awesome!

My date would arrive soon, I was sure of that. She was, if nothing else, extremely punctual. I arrived on an earlier train. The Nakamichi Tennis Center was on the opposite side of town, a long way from home, and I wanted to make sure there weren't any problems procuring the court.

There were no glitches, as my date had confidently assured me. In fact, when I went to pay my deposit I was told that everything was already taken care of.

Tennis wasn't my best sport. I could keep the ball in play, but I probably wouldn't be much competition for any player on the North High tennis team. In fact I probably wouldn't be much competition for my date, either. I brought what I needed - my racquet and a couple cans of balls. I checked my watch. She would be here in about five minutes. I have to admit, I was a little nervous. Though there really was no reason for me to be nervous.

Still my heart leapt when I saw her step through the door at the far end of the building. My date's slender long legs looked incredible - the tiny yellow tennis outfit she wore hid very little of their beauty. Her approach was amazing - the sway of her hips and the hop in her gait were hypnotic. She saw me immediately and waved as she approached, a bright warm smile lighting up her face. I waved back and couldn't suppress a happy return smile of my own.

The trip from the entrance door to the court seemed far too short. I rose from my seat as my date turned down the aisle splitting courts 16 and 17, and walked toward the bench.

"Hi Kyon," she said cheerfully as she stopped before me.

"Hi Ryoko," I replied. I took in a deep breath. "You look great."

Ryoko giggled sweetly and nodded toward the court. "Come on Kyon. Let's hit some balls."

Ryoko Asakura effortlessly returned every ball I hit her way, though she managed to make it look like I was keeping up with her. And while she was making me look good on the tennis court, she was totally screwing up the game of the guys in the court next to us. I wasn't surprised. How in the world can you focus on an incoming volley when a girl as lovely as Ryoko Asakura is crouching down for a shot in the adjacent court? Ryoko was a bright yellow flame and these guys were helpless mosquitos that couldn't turn away.

I thought about the factors that made Ryoko Asakura such a beacon. There was more to it than her stunning good looks. Haruhi was every bit as hot as Ryoko. But when Haruhi got looks she'd usually stare right back at the guy, miniaturizing him like a shrink ray. When guys gawked at Ryoko, she'd acknowledge them with a cheerful smile and continue on with what she was doing. It was a powerful magic.

Even now as Ryoko and I took a break between games, I could see sense the jealous energy radiating from the guys in next court. _What's a guy like that doing with a babe like her?_ they no doubt asked themselves when she sat down next to me on the bench. When Ryoko rubbed her arm up against mine and leaned her head on my shoulder, the intensity of that jealous energy doubled.

_Fuck em!_ I thought. I was loving this.

Now dear reader, I'm sure that if you had been with me in the Nakamichi Tennis Center you would have walked up to me, shook me by the collar, and asked, _What the hell are you doing out on a date with Ryoko Asakura? Is that about the dumbest thing you could do or what? _And I might have answered, "Yes, what you are saying is absolutely true."

But you weren't there to warn me, were you? So instead I looked over at this beauty, whose genuine smile warmed my heart even as the heat from her body warmed my side - and I imagined her naked.

"I know exactly what you're thinking when you look at me like that," Ryoko said as she giggled. She set her hand on my leg. "And I like it."

But that's not where this story starts...

* * *

This story starts on a regular, normal, run-of-the-mill school day, except that it was a Thursday. Normally being a Thursday doesn't mean that much, but it _does_ mean that the Newspaper Club puts out their weekly paper.

Although the North High Gazette wasn't the world's most impressive paper - it usually only ran four pages, eight pages when there was a festival - almost everyone bought a copy and read it. The Newspaper Club's members set up a little stand just inside the school's main entrance doors and they charged 10 Yen (about 1 US dime) per copy to cover their printing costs.

I was surprised to see there were only a few newspapers left when I got there. I was getting to school earlier so I could chat with Haruhi, and I knew half of the students hadn't even arrived yet. This issue would sell out quickly.

When I opened my paper and looked inside, I knew why. There, on page two, was a picture of Ryoko Asakura - beaming smile, wearing tight gray shorts and white North High T-shirt, kicking a soccer ball. Of course I knew the shorts were really blue - it was a black and white picture. Blue or gray, I was duly impressed with how good they looked on the girl. Then again, Ryoko could make a garbage bag look good. Sure, there were other smaller pictures of the soccer team on the page. But they garnered about as much attention as the paid ad announcing the next Chess Club tournament.

"She really moves the papers," the guy behind the counter said with a smile.

"I didn't even know she was on the soccer team," I said.

The guy chuckled. "She's not."

Since Ryoko Asakura's return, she'd been given prominent space in at least half the Gazette's issues, and less prominent space in most of the others. Ryoko was a very popular girl.

"Hey Kyon," a voice came from behind me. I turned to see Taniguchi standing at the newspaper stand, purchasing one of the few remaining papers.

"How's it going buddy?" I asked. "Is life treating you well?"

"It's going, I suppose. Can't complain."

I turned the paper toward my friend and showed him the picture. "Looks to me like Ryoko is wearing your watch."

"I know," he replied. "Can you believe it?" Then he sighed. "Did you notice me in the picture?"

I rescanned the image. Taniguchi was indeed in the picture, though he was only barely visible on the sidelines.

"Wow," I said. "Yes, you are. I didn't notice you way back there in the background."

"It seems like that's the story of my life now," Taniguchi mumbled as he turned to walk away. "See you later, Kyon."

I folded up my paper and stuffed it into my backpack before I walked into home room. I knew Haruhi didn't want to see it. And I wasn't going to bring up today's issue even though everyone else in the classroom would probably be talking about it.

No matter what was happening, I always got an emotional lift whenever I sat down in my assigned seat in front of Haruhi Suzumiya. It was like she had a magical injection gun and she gave me a shot of something positive each and every morning. Even when she was frowning, I thought Haruhi looked beautiful.

As I predicted, many in the classroom started talking about the latest Gazette. And as I predicted, Haruhi avoided the subject. Instead she talked about what she considered to be the latest mystery.

"Have you noticed how Yuki's changing?" Haruhi asked me. "I don't know how to describe it, but she's different somehow."

"You mean she's getting more talkative?" I offered, although I really hadn't noticed much change in Yuki's word production.

"No, it's not that. She's just becoming so much more of a... a... well, more of a _girl_!" Haruhi gave me a confused look. "Or something. You can't see it and put your finger on it but you can feel it. It's like the wind."

"You mean how the wind blows trees and bushes? So you're seeing Yuki's changes by how she affects others?" I said.

Haruhi shrugged. "Something like that, I suppose. It's a mystery that I'm trying to figure out. Yuki seems to be holding herself differently, and walking differently, and there's something in her eyes." Haruhi looked directly at me. "Kyon, she's driving the guys crazy! Seriously!"

"She _is_ a pretty girl," I said, and I was holding back my true feelings. I thought Yuki was very hot. No, she wasn't the hyper-guy-magnet Ryoko Asakura was, but Yuki could hold her own.

"I know she's pretty," Haruhi said, without the slightest hesitation or disagreement. "But it's like the whole world just now figured that out!" Then, as if she were reading my mind, Haruhi gave me the most aggravated look. "What _is_ it with that girl?"

"Huh?" I asked. "You mean Nagato?" Haruhi didn't answer so I started to look around.

"Don't look back or she'll know we're talking about her."

"Who are we talking about now?" I asked.

"Ryoko Asakura! I swear, that girl looks back at us continually. It's starting to drive me nuts!"

"Oh come on, Haruhi. You know how she is. She's just concerned with how you're doing. Miss Asakura has always been that way. Remember how she used to clear the classroom for you when you used to undress in front of the all the guys before gym class? She's always been sort of protective of you. Something like that doesn't easily wash off."

"You're wrong, Kyon," Haruhi replied sternly. "I'm not the one she's looking at."

* * *

Haruhi's aggravation seemed to stick with her for the rest of the day, though she didn't mention it again. I wasn't surprised when Koizumi cornered me in the hall on the way to my first class.

"I know you don't want to hear this," he started, "but Miss Suzumiya's subconscious has been very active lately."

"More closed space?" I asked.

"Yes. It's not that bad." Koizumi smiled. "In a way, it's a welcome change. We espers have become a little complacent recently considering the lack of activity these past few months. Still, I thought you should be aware of this."

"Thanks," I told him. "I have a pretty good idea what's going on."

"Very well," Koizumi replied with a warm smile. "If you'd like to make another trip to the farm, let me know."

I smiled and nodded. Though I was pretty sure a trip to the farm wouldn't help with _this_ issue.

* * *

Since that fateful day in her private data space, I tried my best to stay out of Ryoko Asakura's way - and I directed her to stay out of mine. But we both found this to be difficult. The attraction between us was very strong and it became obvious that no amount of will power on either of our parts was going to change things. Somehow part of _me_ had become part of _her_. And it didn't help that Ryoko was such a knockout.

This magnetic pull between us bothered everyone who noticed it, as you can imagine. It wasn't overt, at first. But it was unmistakable. Yuki sensed it. Haruhi sensed it. Even Mikuru Asahina mentioned something to me. I really tried my damndest to cover it up. But the subtle glances, the smiles, the unavoidable connections in home room and between classes - it started to make people nervous.

When I found a note in my shoebox the next morning, my heart leapt. I immediately recognized Ryoko Asakura's handwriting. Ryoko's signature at the bottom of the note was another dead giveaway that the note came from her.

_Kyon,  
You are cordially invited to my apartment for dinner tonight at seven o'clock. I make an awesome curry. Please come.  
Ryoko_

I told Ryoko to never talk to me at school. Technically, this wasn't talking. I could have pretended I was angry with the girl, but the note made my day. I told myself that I needed to talk to Ryoko anyway and that this was the perfect opportunity. After all, trouble was brewing and I had to clear the air.

I was a bit concerned about meeting at Ryoko's apartment because she lived in the same building as Nagato. But I knew that despite a recent surge in invitations to partake in other activities, Nagato spent all of her time alone inside her place. She rarely left her room except for school and SOS Brigade activities. I was 99.99% certain that I wouldn't run into Nagato in the lobby.

So I went. The apartment building was a short bike ride away from my home, but I didn't want to leave any clues that I was in the building, so I took a cab. I couldn't believe how fast my heart was racing when I pressed the intercom button by the entrance door. Ryoko answered instantly. "Hi Kyon!" she said cheerfully, "Come on up!" The automatic door slid open.

_I don't have to do this_, I told myself several times as I stepped through the entrance into an open elevator. A minute later I was walking down the hall toward her apartment. _I can still turn around. _But since there weren't any elephants charging in my direction, I didn't turn around. When I got to her apartment, I stood and stared at the door for about a minute. Then I knocked.

Ryoko opened the door with a twinkle in her eye and a sweet smile. "Hi Kyon!" she said brightly. I smelled the curry cooking in the kitchen. Then I moved my eyes down from Ryoko's smile to her outfit. She was wearing a very sexy pink chef's apron. Though the apron was cute, I noticed it was quite small and wouldn't be very effective at keeping her clothes clean.

Maybe that's why she wasn't wearing any clothes underneath.

Ryoko studied me as my eyes focused on the her minimally covered breasts peeking out the sides of the skimpy apron's top. She then took note of my reaction as my eyes followed the curves of her smooth bare hips as they seamlessly merged with her long lovely legs - which were also very poorly hidden by the lower half of the tiny apron.

I had been in this situation before when Yuki accurately gauged my reaction to the three open buttons of her blouse. I was not surprised that Ryoko Asakura had absolutely no problem deciphering my physical state as well. She giggled sweetly with that bright happy smile.

Then without a word, she took my hand and led me directly to her bedroom.

* * *

I laid there on the comfortable mattress under the warm fluffy polka dot sheets, holding a very content Ryoko Asakura in my arms. It was that moment when I finally realized how totally fucked up my sex life was. Ryoko's bedroom was _nice_. It was certainly girly - pink drapes, pastel colored walls and closet doors, a couple cute stuffed animals sitting atop her orange desk. And it was _nice_.

It was nice having sex in room as warm and friendly as this. It was nice not having to worry about the time, or about an exit strategy, or about getting caught. It was nice holding this beautiful girl whose gentle sincere smile warmed my heart as her naked form pressing up against me warmed my body. This girl, who was just as happy about going for round four - or not - as I was.

"I've never felt before," she said. "Like this."

I brushed a few loose strands of hair off of Ryoko's face. "You mean you never felt like this before?"

"No." Ryoko giggled. "I've never really _felt_... _anything_... till you became my master." She put her hand up to her chest. "When you put that knife blade under my breast, I knew it was _real_. I knew deep in my heart that you were serious! That you could do it! I've never been so totally terrified in all my life!" Ryoko laughed sweetly. "Before then, I didn't even know I had a heart, and feelings. And now _this_, with _you_...," Ryoko added gleefully, "It's all so new to me. And it's so _amazing_!"

Though I could never completely forget my history with this very dangerous girl, I knew she was being sincere. It was impossible for her to lie to me. And I'll be honest, listening to Ryoko open her heart to me... it scared me to death. Because I knew the ultimate outcome. And it wasn't good.

"Do you know about what happened to Nagato?" I said. "I mean everything... the reason you're here?"

Ryoko looked down and bit her lip. "Yes. I know. The Data Integration Thought Entity was going to shut her down. You saved her." Ryoko crossed her arms over her breasts and nudged in closer toward me. "What I'm doing with you is very dangerous." I held her more tightly. "But I can't help myself."

"You know why I came here tonight?" I said. "I came here to tell you to completely stop looking at me. To stop thinking about me. To ignore me altogether as if I didn't even exist."

Ryoko looked up at me with shocked eyes, that quickly filled with tears.

"But now I know I can't do that," I added quickly. "I did something to you. I changed you. And now I'm responsible. I know that I can't just toss you aside." I brushed a tear from Ryoko Asakura's cheek. "You and I, we're connected now. And we have to make the best of it."

Ryoko's face lit up like the sun.

"Hey Ryoko," I asked as I took hold of her breast and cupped it. "Why did you answer the door wearing that sexy pink apron?"

"I knew that you'd like it." Ryoko giggled sweetly. "I see the way you look at me, Kyon. All the time."

"Wait, let me guess. You're continually gauging my desire level for you by checking my pupils and skin color and breathing and all that."

Ryoko nodded. "Uh-huh."

"Wow. Am I really that much of an open book?"

"When I opened the door, I thought I was going to have to throw water on you." Ryoko put her hands up to her mouth and giggled.

Then a thought struck me. "Hey, what happened to your curry?"

"It's fine. I enclosed the stove in a temporal field and stopped time within it."

"Damn," I said, realizing once again that the gorgeous naked girl I was holding wasn't just anyone. I shook my head and smiled at her.

Then I looked into her eyes.

"Yes," she said. "I would absolutely love to have sex with you again!"

Dinner was wonderful. Ryoko volunteered to spend the entire night wearing the pink apron. And it took every ounce of will I could muster to have her to dress in something else instead - I chose these nondescript pink baggy pajamas. Though she looked beautiful in those, too.

My conversation with Ryoko was enlightening. I learned so much about how she viewed her world, about how she felt she fit in with the Data Integration Thought Entity, and about her view of human beings in general. Ryoko understood that she had recently made a huge leap into my world, and she now knew more things about us humans than she ever suspected.

I learned quickly that Ryoko's newly enhanced ability to empathize with humans made her even more formidable than she already was. At her core, Ryoko was a digital humanoid interface. But now that she was able to more accurately imagine herself in the minds of emotional human beings, she was nearly clairvoyant.

Though it felt very uncomfortable for me at times, Ryoko asked me about my relationship with Haruhi Suzumiya. And I honestly told her how I felt. Which basically just confirmed what Ryoko already knew from her observations.

She asked me about Yuki and Miss Asahina, too. I didn't tell her much about those situations - but I sensed that Ryoko figured those out as well. It really was creepy how much of an open book I was to this girl. In spite of Ryoko's incredible talents, I started to wonder just how large a part of me she took in that fateful day...

One thing became clear to both of us as the evening drew to a close. We both knew we could never be together as a couple.

I wasn't exactly sure what led Ryoko to this conclusion. Did she fear termination by the Data Integration Thought Entity? Or did she understand my feelings for Haruhi? When I looked over at her, Ryoko put her hand over mine and gave me a small, knowing but sad smile.

No, there was no practical way for us to be together.

But we also knew we couldn't be apart.

And that's how we ended up on the tennis court that Sunday.

* * *

I don't want to give you the impression that Ryoko Asakura had suddenly been transformed into a total angel. Although she wasn't the dark angel that once plotted Nagato's and my death, she still had a ways to go to reach angel status.

After our tennis match, we walked out of the complex past the outdoor courts. "Did you do anything special to clear the way for our reservation today?" I asked my bubbly companion. Ryoko gave me a bashful shrug. I pointed to the couple I had seen earlier. "Did you bounce these people off of their court to make room for us?" The couple took their tennis seriously, playing hard and sweating profusely in the sun. "And did you flag our reservation as paid-in-full in the computer system?"

Ryoko looked down at her feet. "I guess I shouldn't do that sort of thing, huh?"

"Would you like it if someone did that to us?" I asked the digital manipulation expert.

"I'm very good with data, Kyon. That would never happen." Then Ryoko got quiet for a moment. "But I understand what you're saying." She closed her eyes for a second and smiled. "I just gave that couple a one year pass!"

I didn't have the heart to tell Ryoko she was now ripping off the Nakamichi Tennis Center. I guessed they could afford it.

Ryoko and I left the tennis center to complete the second part of our date. Ryoko had to do some shopping and she needed my advice. There was a very popular mega-mall nearby that sold exactly what we were looking for.

* * *

The following week things were somewhat quiet. Though Ryoko and I didn't say a word to each other, we still battled the whole magnetism problem. A sensitive Haruhi was still quite irked by the photogenic girl. Koizumi informed me that closed space issues were back, though they were very manageable - so far. It was a far-from-optimal situation, but everyone was getting by.

Until the next Thursday morning.

That was North High Gazette morning. I knew something was up when the guy behind the table gave me the thumbs up as he exchanged a newspaper for a 10 Yen coin.

As soon as I saw the photo spread on page two, I knew the shit was about to hit the fan. Once again there were several pictures of the lovely Ryoko Asakura, playing tennis this time. There were also several pictures of me, looking not nearly as beautiful or graceful. The bottom picture was the clincher. It showed Ryoko sitting up right next to me on the bench, her head on my shoulder.

"You slimy OCTOPUS!" came a yell from behind me. I turned to see a fuming Taniguchi staring me down. He pushed me back toward the table, nearly knocking it over. "What kind of friend are you? What do you think you're doing?"

"Wait," I said. "I can explain." By this time the commotion got the attention of a nearby teacher. Which probably saved me from getting slugged in the face. Taniguchi ran off shaking his head in anger.

When I got to home room, Haruhi was there. But she was silent.

"Good morning," I said, as I took my seat in front of her.

"Hi." She laid her head down in her arms.

And that was the extent of our talk.

* * *

Needless to say, Thursday was a very stressful day. I didn't know what to expect. Taniguchi didn't make it to lunch that day.

And Haruhi didn't show up at the clubroom after school. I sat there with three stunned fellow Brigade members.

"Do you like Ryoko Asakura?" Miss Asahina asked with big unbelieving eyes.

"It's not like it looks," I said. "There's a good explanation for all this." Although I didn't even try to explain things.

Koizumi looked the most frightened. "I hope you know what you're doing." He shook his head. "I must admit, I'm very afraid of the fallout we're going to get from this one." Koizumi took a deep breath and rubbed his eyes.

Nagato remained her expressionless self, reading her book in the corner.

I knew this wasn't going to be an easy day. Since Haruhi wasn't there, I didn't see the point in hanging around the clubroom. I grabbed my backpack and headed home.

When I got home, I ran up to my room - where I reclined on my bed, unable to concentrate. My laptop was sitting open on my desk. I stared at the static screen, waiting for an email notification to stir me.

Suddenly I sensed something, though I couldn't place it exactly. It was like someone was sending information my way telepathically. Thirty seconds later, a notification popped up on the computer screen. I had just received an email from an anonymous sender. I clicked to open the email, though I already knew its contents.

"_It is done_," was all it said.

* * *

Haruhi fumed as she stomped down the hill. The clouds above her were already looking dark and ominous as if a storm was on the way.

"Hi Haruhi," came a sweet voice from behind her. "Can I walk with you for a minute?"

"What do you want?" Haruhi growled at Ryoko Asakura.

"I'd like to talk to you," she said. "About Kyon."

Haruhi stopped dead in her tracks and turned toward Ryoko. "If you want to talk to me about those pictures, yes, I saw them. And I'm very happy for you two." Haruhi crossed her arms over her chest. "You don't have to worry about me. Kyon's a valuable member of the SOS Brigade, but I don't own him."

"OH CUT THE BULLSHIT, SUZUMIYA!" Ryoko shouted angrily, totally taking Haruhi by surprise.

Haruhi's mouth dropped open wide. "Huh?" Ryoko's sudden outburst had the expected effect. Haruhi just stood there totally disarmed.

"You're not fooling anybody." Ryoko pulled out copy of the newspaper. "And just so you know... these pictures," Ryoko smacked the paper, "they don't mean anything. I'm the one who invited Kyon to play tennis. I arranged the reservations and the payments for everything. It was my way of thanking Kyon for helping me shop for a birthday present for Taniguchi."

"It doesn't look like that," Haruhi answered weakly.

"Are you wondering, did I flirt with him? _Of course I flirted with him!_ He's a guy. A very sweet and special guy. And that's what girls do!" Ryoko stepped up close and looked Haruhi directly in the eyes. "Listen carefully Haruhi Suzumiya. Because I need you to know something. There's one thing Kyon has made clear to me from the beginning." Ryoko put her index finger on Haruhi's chest. "YOU are the one he's in love with."

Haruhi just stood there quietly, considering Ryoko's words. "So why are you telling _me _this?" she finally said.

"Because I care about Kyon. And I don't want to see him get hurt."

Haruhi shrugged her shoulders. "I really don't know what you're talking about. Like I told you before, Kyon is free to do whatever he wants. I don't own him."

Ryoko smiled sweetly. "Well that's good, because Taniguchi broke up with me today. And I know exactly where I'm going to go next. Bye Haruhi." Ryoko turned and walked away.

* * *

I suspected that the following day, Friday, was going to be a very interesting day. When I walked up the hill that morning, I didn't know what to expect. But I was about to receive three shocks.

The first came from Itsuki Koizumi. I wasn't surprised when Koizumi appeared next to me. I was surprised, however, to see that he looked fine.

"Something strange has happened," Koizumi told me. "I thought you should know."

"Another breach?" I asked.

"Nope." Koizumi put out his hands. "There was nothing. No closed space. No celestials. Nothing! What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything..."

The next shock came from my former good friend, Taniguchi, who was waiting for me when I entered the school building.

"Buddy, I owe you an apology," he said as he offered me his hand. "Ryoko gave me the birthday present yesterday. It was perfect. Thanks man."

"And you're not upset about the picture in the Gazette?"

"Naah. Ryoko explained it to me. Heck, that's just Ryoko being Ryoko, I guess. She's a sweet girl."

"So you two are doing fine?"

Taniguchi looked down at the ground. "You know the saying, 'Beware of what you want, because you might get it'? Well Kyon, I got it." Taniguchi sighed. "But you know what? I'm not in the same league as her and I know it. It just didn't feel right. There was too much pressure for me to become someone I wasn't. I couldn't do it. So I broke up with her yesterday."

"Wow. No kidding. Was Ryoko upset?"

"No. We're splitting up as good friends - and I think we both mean it."

The biggest shock came when I got to home room, though. Haruhi was sitting there in her seat. She had a big happy confident smile on her face when I approached. It was almost scary.

"Hi Kyon."

"Anything good on TV last night?" It was one of my favorite openings so I thought I'd give it a shot.

Haruhi excitedly told me about this anime show she started watching about this guy that turned into a girl and how goofy it was. But it was so funny she wasn't able to stop watching till she finished the first five episodes. It was fun talking to Haruhi like this, almost as if nothing had happened.

My heart started to race, however, when I noticed the pleasantly smiling Ryoko Asakura approaching us out of the corner of my eye.

When Ryoko got to about five feet from us, Haruhi stood up and pointed her finger directly at the approaching female.

"HEY YOU!" Haruhi shouted at the stunned girl, "STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM MY GUY!"

Ryoko quickly turned and walked the other way. To our surprise, everyone in the classroom started clapping.

* * *

The plan that Ryoko and I devised that night over dinner, which I had comically nicknamed "Project Inoculation", worked amazingly well - better than expected in some ways. Maybe not as well in others.

Inoculation is defined as "the injection of a pathogen or antigen into a living organism to stimulate the production of antibodies". The idea is to stimulate a little bit of a response - an amount you can handle - to fend off much bigger problems down the line. In this case, the tip of the injection needle was an anonymous email tip sent to the Newspaper Club's photographer.

From that Friday forward, Haruhi wasn't bothered any more by Ryoko's occasional glances. In fact she seemed to welcome them with pride. Haruhi had been inoculated. And Ryoko wasn't the only girl giving me extra attention. It was as if my "guy value" suddenly been bid way up in the eyes of every cute girl in the school.

Ryoko had expected a much larger data event after leaving Haruhi on the hill that night, but she totally misread Haruhi. Instead of getting angry or worried, Haruhi got competitive. She wasn't about to lose me to Ryoko Asakura.

_Not to you bitch! _her expression told me that Friday morning. _Haruhi Suzumiya's got game!_

Ryoko admitted she saw the breakup with Taniguchi coming and although it saddened her - she genuinely cared for this sincere guy that worshipped the ground she walked on - Ryoko could tell Taniguchi was burning himself out.

Yes, my relationship with Haruhi changed - a little. We were now _officially_ an item - in the eyes of the school. And as for how Haruhi and I handled this change to an already very complex relationship - well that's another story. One I promise to share with you later.

I continued to have dinner at Ryoko's apartment once a month - at least those times when we actually managed to get to the dinner part.

You might wonder how I was able to manage three sexual relationships at the same time. Well it's true that guys are different from girls in that area - and humanoid interfaces are different from human girls as well. Despite the strong emotional pulls of their human sides, Yuki and Ryoko adapted to the reality of the situation. Ryoko crunched the data and her analysis told her that a full time relationship with me was impractical, even suicidal, considering her connection to the Data Integration Thought Entity.

Yuki, though more free from DITE's control because of my intervention, understood that the quality of my relationship with Haruhi was paramount to everyone's survival. She wasn't happy about Ryoko, but since she was a major player in her reprogramming, Yuki understood Ryoko's needs. And to be fair, Ryoko understood Yuki's needs, too. So they managed to tolerate each other.

Mikuru Asahina remained blissfully unaware of all of this clandestine carnal activity, though it would be wrong to say she was unscathed by the events that took place since I first challenged Haruhi with the collar.

Mikuru laughed - and I almost died - when she told me the story about this guy who approached her at the mall and asked for her autograph and a picture with her. Supposedly she looked exactly like an exotic dancer with the stage name of Puppy, who had become somewhat of a legend at a local gentleman's club. Mikuru blushed and giggled when she told me this story. How could anybody be that incredibly far off base?

And Koizumi... I got the impression Itsuki Koizumi knew far more than he let on. And it turns out he did. But that's another story as well...


	13. Tank Sakamoto's Roman Holiday

**Author's Notes: I wanted to shift the story over to Haruhi and away from Kyon, but I don't feel comfortable writing (or reading) anything from Haruhi's point of view. After all, she's the Ultra Director, right? So this chapter tells us about Hondo "Tank" Sakamoto's day instead. Since Tank is a new OC, this chapter is a bit longer than the usual. That way you get to meet him and understand him. It's a bit of a departure from the other chapters. Let me know what you think. - Alfonso Ling  
**

* * *

The lights in my efficiency apartment came on and my window popped open with a flash. Right at 6:30 AM. Just like I programmed them to. I toughed it out through my alarm's thirty seconds of loud screechy beeping by holding my hands over my ears. Damn that sound was annoying! But I knew it was necessary to get me up.

I rolled out of bed and looked at the window. The sky was rapidly getting brighter and I could see hints that the sun would soon be peaking out above the horizon. I walked back to my mini-kitchen and pulled some eggs, bacon and bread out of the fridge. Today was my day off and I had a feeling it was going to be a wonderful day.

I tossed two pieces of bread in the toaster and started frying my eggs next to the bacon. I looked at the window again. The sun was starting to show herself, changing the colors of all the buildings in the city as it rose above them. I felt refreshed thanks to getting another full night's sleep. I was grateful that restful nights were once again becoming a regular occurrence.

Damn. It's amazing what you can trick your mind to believe - when you really put your mind to it.

I sat down with my breakfast at my efficient little kitchen counter. I ate as the world outside slowly got brighter and brighter. After 25 minutes of eating and waking with the world, I felt good. I felt full. I was ready.

I walked over to my "window" and stopped the DVR program running on my computer. The image of the world I viewed through this window - which in reality was a wall-mounted high-def 50 inch LCD TV monitor - immediately switched to my Windows 7 desktop. I picked up the remote and switched my television from PC input to channel 5 to see what it looked like outside - real time.

I was glad to be greeted by a bright and sunny day. The sky was mostly blue. A few white puffy clouds broke the monotony but it didn't look like they held any rain. These were optimal conditions for a long run along my favorite beach. Since it was my day off, they were also optimal conditions for spending a few more hours in bed. Then heading to the gym. But for some reason the beach was calling out to me today, and I couldn't close my ears to it.

By the way, the "real time" was closing in on 1:00 PM, not 7:00 AM.

I know this all sounds confusing so let me explain. You're probably wondering why I have to turn on a television set to see what it looks like outside, and why my times are all mixed up. It's a long story, but here I go.

Since starting my new night shift job as a bouncer-janitor-bartender at a downtown gentleman's club, I rarely got to bed before 4 AM. And since I wasn't any good at being a human being without at least eight hours of solid sleep, I had to come up with a way to cope with the crazy night shift hours.

I was lucky to find a cheap studio apartment near my work that was located in the core of the building. That meant the apartment had no outside windows (which is probably why it was so cheap). Sure, the builders added this goofy atrium thing with a fake window, that opened up to fake sunlight (actually a row of fluorescent lights). And I'm sure some of my fellow core neighbors were actually conned into thinking that they were getting natural light. But I covered that fiction over with a thick black piece of tarp and duct tape as soon as I moved in.

To make up for the lack of outside windows, the building managers gave us access via our cable hookup to the feeds from four of the building's many security cameras. They made up TV channels 2 through 5. Cameras 2, 3, and 4 were sidewalk and lobby cams. Channel 5 was the view from the top of this very tall building out to the horizon. It was a magnificent view.

Life in the core was perfect for me. The location provided total darkness and complete silence - the perfect combination for someone with my sleep needs. Since it was always pitch black dark when I got home, I managed to totally fool my brain into thinking I was getting to bed at 10PM. Part of the deception involved my morning routine.

I set my computer-controlled DVR (Digital Video Recorder for you non-techies) to record the channel 5 sunrise each morning and I programmed my computer to play it back on my wall-mounted 50 inch LCD TV when I got up. Along with that annoying screech!

I don't know if I have an official sleep disorder, you know, something a doctor could assign an impressive name to. It didn't really matter. My system worked perfectly for me. It allowed me to function. Thirty minutes of fake sunrise each afternoon totally did the trick.

I thought about adding some sound effects to the morning view - none of the security feeds included sound - but that seemed like overkill. After all, you only have to fool yourself so much to get by.

Which is exactly what I told Haruhi Suzumiya. But I'll get to that in a minute.

The beach was just a one hour train ride away. After tossing my dishes in the sink, I put on my green running shorts and my shiny new Nikes. Then I checked myself out in front of the mirror. Damn what a good looking guy!

Since you haven't met me, you probably wonder what I look like. In fact, you're probably wondering what my name is - sorry about that. My name is Hondo Sakamoto. My friends call me Tank. Despite the high regard I have for my appearance, I'm just an average looking dude. I gave you a big hint when I told you one of my duties at the club was being a bouncer. That's because what I lack in height and good looks, I make up for in width and muscle. I admit it, I'm a gym rat. But it's always worked for me. That's why they call me Tank. Even the drunkest drunks don't want to mess with me. When they see me coming, they leave the place quietly.

So here I was, trying to pick the right T-shirt to wear. For some strange reason I felt inspired to put on the latest addition to my collection, a white and blue North High T-shirt that someone left at the club a few nights ago in the private dance area. Normally, when I'm playing janitor, for obvious reasons I throw all that stuff away. But this shirt was a neatly folded XL that looked like it had never been worn. It smelled clean, too. I don't think I've ever been within five miles of that school, but the shirt looked good on me! (Yes, of course I washed it first.)

I packed my backpack with some books, a towel, a water bottle, and some other stuff and hopped on the 1:27 PM train to Katayoku Beach. Since it was a Monday, there weren't too many beach-goers on board. The train was packed wall-to-wall most Fridays and weekends. And since it was summer, the days were long. Despite my late start, there was still a good amount of the day left for me to enjoy.

I hopped off at the station after a 63 minute commute and tossed my bag into a locker. It's no fun running with a backpack after all. I paid the money-eating machine my locker rent and pocketed the receipt with my key code on it. I looked at the slip of paper and chuckled. Locker keys were so old-fashioned.

Once I got out to the street, I started a slow warm-up jog down the sidewalks past the huge beachfront condominiums that lined the shore. Ten minutes later I was past the condo high-rises and my shoes finally hit the sand! Woo hoo! I was officially out of the city!

I quickly hustled over to the better packed wet sand near the surf line. Running this close to the water pretty much insured that I'd get my nice new shoes soaked, but that didn't bother me. Running with wet feet was preferable to slogging through the loose dry sand.

It took fifteen minutes for me to reach my ultimate goal, the peninsula, home of scenic Mako Mori Park. The park was recently re-named after a female warrior without whose efforts the park wouldn't even exist (seriously, you can google her). Here's where I got the big payoff for all my traveling and trotting, and where the views started to get truly beautiful.

I told myself the same thing I always told myself when I got here - I should come here more often! Living in the city can wear a person down. Now, instead of wall-to-wall concrete, my trail was lined with trees to my left and the surf to my right. The air had that fantastic salty-ocean smell, and it was a wonderful day!

I was about twenty minutes into my run down the strand when I noticed something odd - an enormous whale in the distance swimming towards the shore. It was a blue whale and it seemed to be moving at top speed. I knew that if it kept swimming that fast, the whale would end up on the beach with no way to get back into the ocean. Beached whales, though not common, weren't that unusual here either. Everyone hated to see it happen. There's nothing quite as sad as an enormous fish out of water flopping around on the sand.

Fortunately this particular whale curved ninety degrees at the last minute, avoiding certain death. I jogged a few hundred yards further down the beach, to the place where the whale would have landed if he hadn't turned. I wondered if maybe something was attracting him to that location. As I approached I didn't see anything out of the ordinary. Just a lifeguard tower, a couple of abandoned beach chairs, and not much else. As I said, nobody came to the beach this time of week so the place was rather desolate.

When I looked up toward the tower again, I was surprised to see a girl standing there, leaning on the railing. She didn't seem to notice me - or else she was ignoring me - I couldn't tell. Normally I would have moved on, but the girl looked cute in her bright orange bikini. Also, the yellow band pulling her shoulder length hair back, framed her face in the most attractive way. I found myself drawn to this girl's intense eyes as she carefully surveyed the water.

"Hi," I shouted to the girl. "Did you see that whale? It looked like it was going to beach right here."

"I did!" the girl replied excitedly. She was still staring out at the ocean, following the whale's progress. "That whale was coming right for me! That was one of the coolest things I've _ever_ seen!"

"I can imagine," I said. "I don't suppose much happens here, especially during the week. Have you been on duty for a while?"

"No, I'm not a lifeguard," the girl said. "I'm just cutting class. I was bored and I needed to get away for a while. I've never even been to this beach before. But it got really high ratings on the Internet." She finally looked down at me. "Hey! You're wearing a North High T-shirt! Did you go there?"

"No," I told her. "Somebody left this shirt behind where I work and I felt like wearing it today. By the way, my name is Sakamoto." I extended my hand symbolically since there was no way the girl could reach it from her perch high on the lifeguard tower. "Hondo Sakamoto. But my friends call me Tank."

"I'm Suzumiya," the girl replied. "Haruhi Suzumiya. Wow. What are the odds I'd run into someone wearing a North High T-shirt way out here? That's wild."

Suddenly my lips started moving. "I was just going for a run," I said. "Would you like to join me?"

Damn. Sometimes I surprise myself. I'm usually not that bold. But after I got that invitation out I was glad I did. What the heck? I had nothing to lose. Maybe I could cash in on this T-shirt coincidence and spend some time with this gorgeous girl.

Miss Suzumiya looked me over for a minute.

"Come on," I said. "It'll be fun." I pointed up the beach. "The whale went that way, didn't he? Maybe he'll try to beach himself again and we can see him up close."

"Okay, give me a second," she replied. "Let me get some clothes on." Miss Suzumiya pulled a pair of blue running shorts over her orange bikini bottom and a white and blue North High T-shirt over her top. "Look," she said as she adjusted the shirt. "We're twins!" Finally she stepped into her running shoes and climbed down to ground level. Once her feet hit the ground, she turned and extended her hand. "Nice to meet you Tank," she said as we shook hands. Then she turned and started running down the beach.

It took me a little bit of a sprint to catch up to her, but I managed. Like I said before, I'm in pretty good shape. "So Miss Suzumiya, are you going to get in trouble for cutting class?"

"Maybe. I don't care. School is so boring anymore. What's the point in going?" I was amazed at how effortlessly she was able to maintain the conversation, even though we were running along at a very respectable clip. "All that matters is that I ace the midterms and finals. That's what my grades are based on." Then she stepped up the pace another notch, pulling ahead of me.

I really didn't mind. The view from behind was quite nice. This Suzumiya girl was very easy on the eyes. But I wasn't supposed to let a girl show me up, was I? I could tell Haruhi Suzumiya was in very good shape, but so was I. So I decided to give her a challenge. I pointed to the fisherman's pier about a quarter mile ahead. I often stopped there for water breaks. "I'll race you to the pier," I said.

Before the final "r" in "pier" came out of my mouth, Suzumiya sprinted towards the structure at full speed. I tried my damndest to catch up to the girl, but she was fast! Yes, she managed to get a pretty healthy head start before I realized what was happening. But just between you and me, she probably would have kicked my butt in an even race. I was glad I had an excuse.

"You cheated!" I said as I ran up to the smiling, huffing and puffing beauty waiting for me at the pier's entrance.

Suzumiya just laughed and turned to check out the structure. There wasn't anything special about it. It was just a long wooden pier, wide enough to hold a car, though there were none on it. The pier extended about a hundred yards into the ocean. There were several fishermen, buckets at their side, lines in the water, peering patiently over the edge, waiting for fish to bite.

Suzumiya hopped up and onto the pier and started walking toward the end. I jogged up next to her. "Hey Miss Suzumiya," I said. "I have to ask you this because you're a very pretty girl and I'm not trying to pick you up or anything, but I don't want to get into trouble either. Do you have a boyfriend?"

Miss Suzumiya laughed and despite my rambling question I could tell that she understood what I was trying to say. "Thanks for asking, Tank. Yes, there is a special guy in my life. And I don't mind if you just call me Haruhi, okay?"

"Okay, Miss Haruhi."

She looked at me with those intense eyes. "Just Haruhi."

I smiled. "Okay, Haruhi."

"Come on," Haruhi said. "Let's see if these guys caught anything good." So I found myself following this girl again, down to the end of the pier, even though this was the first time she'd ever been here and this was a far more regular hangout for me.

Since we were past the middle of the day, many of the fisherman's buckets were pretty full already. I pointed down at one particularly well filled container and joked, "You know what they say. There's lots of fish in the sea!"

Haruhi smiled. The smile really looked good on her. Then she turned serious and got philosophical on me. "You know Tank. I wonder if that saying is really true."

"What do you mean?" I asked, taking the bait.

"Suppose you're a particular kind of fish that's not very common. There could be millions of fish in the sea, but if none of them are the same species as you, the ocean might as well be empty!"

Wow. I was surprised such a deep statement got inspired by my silly off-the-cuff remark. But what she said was true. And from our very short time together, I had already figured out that Haruhi Suzumiya wasn't your average fish.

Once we reached the end of the pier, Haruhi struck up a conversation with an older balding white-haired gentleman who introduced himself as Mr. Mihagi. Mr. Mihagi let Haruhi use his fishing pole after showing her the proper way to cast. He looked pleased when Haruhi's very first attempt at casting was darn near perfect. She laughed happily when the lure disappeared underneath the water a very respectable distance out from the pier.

"You're a natural," the old man said.

"Thanks, that was fun!" A cheerful Haruhi handed the man his fishing pole and we walked back towards land. "What a nice old guy! I hope he catches a real whopper today."

When we got back to the beach and started running again, Haruhi slowed down the pace. I considered picking it up, but already understood that's something you don't do with this girl.

I glanced back toward the pier, now a ways in the distance, and noticed a fisherman needing the help of three others to lift up a catch. Judging from the way the pole was bending this fish was a whopper. When the sunlight flashed off of Mr. Mihagi's white hair, I realized that pole had just been in Haruhi's hands! Pretty cool. What were the odds?

I didn't mention it to her. I could see Haruhi was deep in thought as we ran. Still, the slower pace was perfect for small talk, so after a couple minutes of silence I decided to ask her about what was obviously on her mind. What the hell, right? If she doesn't want to talk, she won't talk.

"Is your boyfriend the same species fish as you?" I asked.

"I don't know," Haruhi replied. "I'm a very, very strange fish." And that was it.

Haruhi wasn't gushing out the words so I tried to fill the void.

"I talk to a lot of people," I said. "It's part of my job. And when it comes to compatibility I think there are two types of people. There are easy people and there are complicated people. Of course, there are also assholes, but I'm only talking about people who give a shit and really want to connect with someone."

Haruhi laughed at my asshole joke. "What do you do, Tank? Are you a psychologist or something?"

"Yep," I said proudly. "I'm a bartender." Then I corrected myself. "On weekdays. On the weekends I'm a bouncer and I'm just about always the janitor when somebody needs one."

"That is so cool!" she said. It looked like I had managed to pique this girl's interest. "Where do you work?"

"At the Pandora Gentleman's club, downtown."

"No way?" Haruhi replied. "I used to dance there!"

"You've gotta be kidding me."

Haruhi turned to me and winked. "Yeah, I'm just pulling your leg. But I'd really like to try it. It looks totally fun."

"You know we have amateur contests every month. I bet you'd be great. You've got an _awesome_ body!"

Whoops! I kind of let that compliment spill out. I quickly hoped it didn't turn her off.

"Thanks, Tank. That's sweet of you to say," Haruhi replied without a hint of discomfort. "But I'm not quite that bold... yet." She gave me a curious look. "What's it like? I mean, what do the girls say? The ones that do it?"

"Well there's two types of strippers, too," I said. I held out my left hand. "There are the sluts." Then I held out my right. "And there are the performers. Most of the girls are sluts. They'll do anything for a Yen. They're usually into drugs. They've got major emotional issues." I could see that Haruhi was now listening intently, so I continued. "Then there's those five percent or so of girls that are performers. They're beautiful and they just love dancing, giving it their all, getting a rise out of the guys. They don't ever get sucked into the dark side, they're all business. It's the most amazing thing."

"The dark side?" Haruhi asked.

"Yeah. Drugs, prostitution, pornography. The dark side. I've seen it suck in the nicest girls. But there are some that can handle it. They dance, they get their tips, they don't ever go to the back room-"

"The back room? What's that?"

"For private dances. That's where the girls can make the big money. But then that leads to private dances somewhere else... and before you know it the dark side has them."

"But some girls beat the odds, huh?"

"Yeah. The performers."

"Do you think I could be a performer?" Haruhi asked.

"No," I answered the girl honestly. "No way."

"So you think I'm a slut, huh?" Haruhi teased.

"No. Of course not. I just couldn't see you as a professional dancer."

Haruhi gave me a shocked look. "Why not? You just said I have an awesome body!"

"Hell yeah! You're _very _hot." I shook my head. "But you're not the type."

"Could you get me in on an amateur night?" This girl didn't like to be told she wasn't able to do something.

"You're old enough. You could easily get on the list by yourself, anytime," I said. "But you won't do it."

Haruhi gave me a sly smile. "You're right, Doctor Bartender. But what gave me away?"

I thought about her question. "It just doesn't match your personality."

"My personality? You don't know a thing about me!" Haruhi protested.

"Look Haruhi, all I do is study people and what makes them tick. It's what I do. It's my hobby. You're a stunning girl, and you'd do great if you tried it. Hell, I'd be sitting in the front row if you did. But stripping on stage in front of a bunch of horny guys... that's not you. I spend lots of time around these girls, the sluts _and _the performers, and I just can't picture you on that stage. You don't match the profile."

Haruhi didn't answer. She just looked at me. She knew I was right.

"I could _totally _see you working it in front of an audience of one, though."

Haruhi just shook her head with the cutest smile, and stayed silent. She knew I was right.

"So your guy is a unique fish?" I asked, completing the transition to a new topic.

I watched Haruhi's expression change as she pictured her boyfriend in her mind. "He is - to me. But I don't know why I'm so drawn to him. He's like this rudder that keeps my boat from tipping over and crashing into things. I don't know how to explain it. He keeps me sane. I don't think I could get by without him." Haruhi stopped dead in her tracks and turned toward me. "Hey Tank. Why am I telling you all this personal stuff about myself when I don't even know you?"

"I dunno." I shrugged. "We're just sharing. A girl told me one time I was approachable. Like a big old teddy bear." (Which is why this girl ended up dumping me for this tall, good-looking dude - but I didn't tell Haruhi that.)

Haruhi giggled at my admission. "Yeah, I can see the teddy bear thing. You're nice. And really easy to talk to." Haruhi started walking again. She stretched her arms up and took a deep breath before looking my way. "Maybe the universe brought you my way. Because I really need someone to talk to right now." She looked me directly in the eyes. "I think I'm going nuts, Tank."

Okay, I don't believe in astrology or any of that stuff, but for some reason I got this strange feeling Haruhi was right, the universe _did _put me here. I thought about my need to come here this morning (afternoon), my decision to wear this T-shirt, the big whale I saw that led me to the lifeguard chair, even Mr. Mihagi's big catch.

"Hey Haruhi, does the universe do this kind of thing for you pretty often?"

"Sure." She shrugged. "Doesn't it do that for everyone?"

Damn. This girl was truly something else. Something _very_ special. And I know most people wouldn't have thought twice about all these coincidences - it wouldn't have made a blip on their radar - but I could sense something profound was going on. Believe it or not, I now felt like the universe had given me a job to do - at the behest of Haruhi Suzumiya. Go ahead. Think I'm crazy all you want!

"What's up?" I asked simply.

"Here's the thing. Kyon - that's my boyfriend's name - Kyon and I have always sort of had this understanding. There's this line we don't cross, and we both respect it."

"Another woman." I said. I could see it coming a mile away.

"You really are good at this, Tank. Yeah, this girl Ryoko wants him. And I can tell he's interested in her, too."

"Is Ryoko in your league?"

Haruhi sighed. "Yeah. She's pretty hot. If I were Kyon I'd be watching her, too. He's not gay!"

"But he loves _you_?"

"I know he does," Haruhi answered. "Ryoko even told me. Kyon is mine to lose, I know that."

"I don't see the problem. If you don't want to lose him, then just don't lose him."

"I'm scared as hell to go to the next level. Kyon doesn't know about the real me - in that way. My needs are not, you know, ordinary."

I started laughing because I knew _exactly _what she meant. "So Haruhi Suzumiya is a super freak!" I joked.

Haruhi smacked me on the back. "Stop it, Tank! It's not funny!" She was serious as a heart attack. But she didn't seem offended.

I nodded. "I gotcha. Cuffs, chains, vibrators, toys? Kinky bondage stuff?"

"What is it with you, Tank? Did you hide cameras in my house or something? How do you know all this?"

"Girls that like to be in charge very often really like it when their guy dominates them. It's a balance thing. You like to be in charge, but you're also very feminine. So you need the balance."

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"How do I tell Kyon what I'm like without him thinking I'm weird and wanting nothing to do with me?"

"You're kidding right?" I said.

"No, Tank. I'm serious. I'm afraid."

"How long have you been with Kyon?"

"A few years."

"So you must know this guy really well. What does your gut tell you? You know, that inner voice?"

"You mean like in my dreams?"

"Huh? You dream about this guy?"

"All the time! It's awesome!" Haruhi said, hopping up and down as she spoke.

Okay, this was getting a little strange. But I went with it. "Are you having fun with him, you know, this way, in your dreams?"

"Totally. I really look forward to bedtime because I have these awesome dreams about Kyon like once a week." Haruhi started to giggle. "It's a blast. He's so damned creative and evil," Haruhi started to blush, "I have to change the sheets in the morning!"

I noticed Haruhi's flushed cheeks and her nipples hardening under her T-shirt, I was starting to get hot and bothered just seeing how aroused she was getting.

There was something really off about her reaction, though. When people tell me about dreams they've had, it's usually like they're describing a TV show or a movie they've seen. This was different. As Haruhi spoke an image flashed into my mind of this girl I talked to a few months ago. She had been date-raped by some jerk that used a hallucinogenic drug on her, Rohypnol. She only remembered parts of what happened and the rest seemed like a dream. But a totally realistic dream. When she relived the memory, the tears flowed. Her body and her posture changed. I could tell this poor victimized girl had really been there, and when she relived the incident, she was remembering real life.

Don't ask me why, but this is what Haruhi's description of her dreams reminded me of, albeit in a much more positive way than this other girl. I would have paid big money to peek in on Haruhi Suzumiya's dreams!

I leveled with her. "I'm getting this strange feeling you've been there," I told Haruhi. "That what you're talking about aren't dreams but memories of the real thing. You really don't seem the type, but I have to ask. Do you and Kyon do drugs?"

Haruhi looked at me like I was an idiot. "No! Of course not!"

"Then something real is going on between you two," I said. I considered the possibility that Haruhi was having some sort of psychotic break - but that just didn't match the facts.

"Where do your dreams take place?" I asked.

Haruhi shook her head. "I don't know. I can't tell. All I can remember is what we do - and how if feels. That stuff sticks with me. The rest is very misty."

"So you're getting what you need," I commented. "And nothing else."

Haruhi shrugged. "I know it's not real. I don't think I'd want it to be real. I don't think I'm ready to go there with Kyon yet, you know, sexually. It would throw a wrench in everything."

"Do you think Ryoko is ready to go there?" I asked.

Haruhi returned a sad look. "I don't know. I have a feeling something happened between them, but I don't know what. Ryoko never even seemed to notice Kyon at all, but since she came back home from Canada, that all changed."

As we walked down the shore a gray cloud opened up above and started dropping some water on us. We were coming up on one of the park's tent campgrounds and as luck would have it, someone had set up a nice big shelter facing the water. The shelter looked like half of a dome tent, the kind that are held up by a set of interlocking fiberglass sticks. We rushed into the empty shelter, and sat down on the blanket someone had kindly left for us there, to wait out the rain.

I continued our conversation. "Maybe she met some guy in Canada that reminds her of Kyon." I threw that out, but I could tell Haruhi wasn't buying it. "Were you guys an item when she left?"

"Not so much. Maybe just a little. Kyon and I were just starting to get used to each other."

"Maybe it's that competitive thing girls do. Guys that belong to other girls always look more appealing. What makes you think anything happened between these two anyway?"

"I know for a fact they went on a tennis date. Someone from the school paper got tipped off about the date and shot some pictures of them at this tennis center. There's one where Ryoko is leaning up against Kyon and she's got her head on his shoulder. It's pretty graphic."

"That sounds like a total setup," I said. "Like Kyon was duped."

"I know. But Ryoko went out of her way to vouch for Kyon, so I don't know what to think. Ryoko said the tennis date was her way of saying thank you because Kyon helped her pick out a present for her boyfriend."

"So Ryoko has a boyfriend?"

"_Had_ a boyfriend. He dumped her after that. But they still hang out." Haruhi threw up her hands. "None of this makes sense."

Haruhi got quiet again. I could see the gears cranking in her brain.

Then Haruhi leaned up against me and rested her head on my shoulder.

I knew Haruhi didn't mean anything by it. She was only playing some sort of game - acting as if I were Kyon and she were Ryoko - but I was happy to go along. It was probably part of that duty the universe signed me up for today. I did what came naturally and put my arm around her waist.

"Hey, why did you do that?" Haruhi asked.

"Why did I do what?"

"You put your arm around me."

"It just seemed like the natural thing to do, with you leaning into me and all."

Haruhi frowned. "I don't think Kyon put his arm around Ryoko. Does that mean something, doctor?" Her eyes looked hopeful.

"Sure. It could mean that he's got somebody else on his mind and he's making an effort to avoid her advance. Which would be a good sign." I pulled my arm back and put it at my side. "Then again, it could also mean the photographer just didn't get that picture. I'll be honest, Haruhi. Guys respond to hot girls."

Haruhi thought about that for a minute. Then she spoke. "Are you single, Tank?"

I laughed. "Yes, I'm not seeing anybody right now."

"I want to try something. Just for fun." Haruhi nonchalantly took of her T-shirt, shorts and shoes - as my eyes bulged out in awe. She was now only wearing her sexy orange string bikini. "Here's the challenge. You tie me up and I bet I can escape in five minutes."

Another game. Of course I played along.

"What's in it for me?" I asked the girl. "What happens if you don't escape?"

She turned toward me and looked me in the eyes. "You can remove an item of clothing for each five minutes." Haruhi pointed to her top and then her bottom.

"So you realize that in ten minutes you could be naked?" I said.

"Give it your best shot, Tank." Haruhi turned and crossed her wrists behind her back. "You've got sixty seconds to tie me up. 60, 59, 58…"

Shit! I didn't have any rope. I jumped out of the half dome shelter into the rain and checked the area. Three spaces down, I spotted an old pup tent whose front and back posts were held fast by two lengths of rope attached to two tent pegs. "Hang on! I'll be right back!"

"55, 54, 53…" Haruhi replied with a sly smile.

I sprinted to the small tent and ripped the cords off of it. They were perfect. Since it was an older tent, the rope was made of soft cotton and not that thin plastic twine the new tents use. The loops easily slid off of the tops of the poles, collapsing the tent. (Oh well!) Getting the rope free of the tent pegs took a little more work but I managed. I ran back to the shelter, rope in hand.

"29, 28…"

I started wrapping the rope around Haruhi's wrists. After twenty seconds I felt I had them pretty well bound. I spent the last ten seconds tying her ankles together with the other length.

"3, 2, 1... Zero!" Haruhi tried to pull her wrists apart. "Not bad, Tank."

"4:59, 4:58, 4:57…" I started the five minute countdown with a smirk on my face. I didn't believe in a million years this was going anywhere, but I played the game.

Haruhi tried her best, but the ropes weren't coming loose. When I finally counted down to zero, she just smiled at me.

"Do I get to take off your top or your bottom?" I asked.

"Not so fast," Haruhi countered. "I said you can remove an item for _each five minutes_. I didn't say when."

"Why am I arguing with a helpless, tied up girl?" I asked Haruhi - as well as myself.

Haruhi giggled. "Yeah, this is kind of funny."

"So when do I get to take off your bikini? Next week?"

"Of course not! That wouldn't be fair. A deal's a deal. I just mean ten minutes instead of five minutes. You can take off my bikini in ten minutes." She shifted and struggled a bit. "_If_ I'm not free by then."

I looked at my watch. "Okay. Then you've got three minutes left."

After shifting her arms and wrists a bit more, Haruhi sat still and just let the clock run out.

"Zero."

"It comes off pretty easy," she said as she turned her back to me. "Just undo the bow knot in the back, then pull my top forward over my head. My bottom has bow knots on each side so you don't have to untie my ankles to get it all the way off."

Yes, I nearly had a heart attack.

"You're not serious," I said. Haruhi just smiled and nodded. "You seriously want me to take off your bikini?"

"Come on Tank. I can't do it myself," Haruhi laughed. "You've got me tied up pretty good here, remember?"

"Okay." I reached behind Haruhi and pulled free the knot under her shoulder blades. The orange top fell forward and I pulled it over her head as she recommended. "Wow." I couldn't hold back my appreciation of her fantastic breasts.

"Two knots to go."

It didn't take much effort to release the two knots at Haruhi's hips. She planted her hands on the ground and lifted her bum up to make it easier for me to pull the orange fabric away from her body.

"Good job. You're a pro at this."

I was amazed at Haruhi's upbeat mood. I could tell she was totally enjoying herself. The bound naked girl once again leaned up against me and again laid her head on my shoulder.

"This is nice, Tank. I'm really glad I met you today."

I turned toward Haruhi and did what came naturally - I moved my hand toward her chest. She looked in my eyes and nodded. "It's okay," she said. "I don't mind."

As I my hand glided over her wonderful breasts, Haruhi stretched her legs out forward and laid back onto the blanket, on her arms which were still bound underneath her. I got on top, straddled her, and moved both hands back over those fantastic breasts.

As you can imagine, I was about as wound up as a guy could get. My cock was so hard I thought it was going to rip through my shorts! Well actually my shorts were baggy and it wasn't so bad, but I think you know what I'm trying to say - I was ready!

Once again, I did what came naturally. I grabbed the bottom of my shirt and started to pull it off.

"No, don't undress," said the girl - who, let me remind you, was naked, bound hand and foot, and currently pinned underneath a two hundred pound, highly-aroused, muscular male.

I think you know what happened next.

That's right, I kept my shirt on. What the hell was it about this girl anyway?

"You can't kiss me either," she added. "I like the way you're playing with my breasts, though. It feels nice. Do you really like them?"

I nodded with what I'm sure was an expression of total appreciation. Haruhi smiled and giggled, as I continued to happily fondle her breasts with her blessing. I sat up and slid my hands down over her smooth hips and legs.

"You really are incredibly beautiful," I told Haruhi. Then I looked around. "But doesn't this whole scene seem a little bit strange to you?"

"_That's what I've been trying to tell you, Tank!_ _I'm a strange fish!"_ She smiled brightly. "I'm _totally_ loving this! Ordinary stuff drives me crazy! Just think, how often does a girl get to hang out on a beautiful beach, naked, tied up, with a cute sitting guy on top of her?"

I smiled. "You really think I'm cute?"

"Sure. You're not a bad looking guy."

Suddenly Haruhi's arms magically appeared from behind her back. She pushed her palms up into my chest and threw me off of her _like I was a twig_!

"You suck at tying girls up, though!" Haruhi quickly pulled the ropes from her ankles and hopped on top of me.

"How the hell did you do that?" I said incredulously. On my back. Looking up at the fabric roof. "I weigh twice as much as you do!"

The naked girl sitting on my chest flexed her biceps. "I work out, too," she said.

"You are one amazing person, Haruhi Suzumiya."

Haruhi hopped off of me and started putting her bikini back on. I'm sure she didn't think twice about tossing me off of her, but I was shocked at her strength. This was one girl I would not want to tangle with in a dark alley.

In fact this was one girl I wouldn't want to tangle with in any way. I tried to analyze the last ten minutes in my mind. Here I was... a healthy large male... tying up, stripping, and straddling this gorgeous girl... so proud of my self-control for not taking advantage and raping the crap out of her.

But now I'm pretty sure she would have kicked my ass into the ocean if I had even tried. But the more amazing thing is that _it was never even an issue!_ Don't misunderstand me. I was happy for what I got. It's not every day I get to handle such an awesome set of breasts, and it's not every day I get to hang out with a girl that's this fun and kinky.

What was it about this girl? I had nothing to lose and there was something I wanted to know. "Hey Haruhi. Can I get a second chance? At the game? You don't even have to take off your clothes right now. You can do it next week." I said this with a mischievous smile. Something told me it wasn't going to be an issue for her.

Haruhi Suzumiya, now fully dressed but for her shoes, started laughing. "Sure, Tank. I know it wasn't fair for me to give you just a minute." Haruhi turned and crossed her wrists again. "Take your time and give it your best shot."

So I tied Haruhi Suzumiya up again. And this time I did it carefully, and I did it well. I ran the rope, which was quite strong, against the back of her neck, over her shoulders, back under her armpits, and then back to her elbows. Her elbows touched easily when I tied them together behind her back. Next I tied her wrists together and then, after laying her down on her belly, I wrapped several loops of rope around her ankles and pushed them towards her bound wrists. And I tied those two points together. I made sure all three points - ankles, wrists and elbows - were properly secured and there was no way Haruhi could reach any of the knots. Trust me, I thought of _everything_.

"Okay," I said after triple checking my work. I sat next to my very tightly hogtied friend and playfully patted her on the bum. "I'm done."

"Can you turn me a little bit?" she asked. "Toward the ocean?"

"Sure." I put my forearm under her collarbone, carefully lifted Haruhi up, and turned her toward the water. I sat next to her in the shelter, cross-legged, looking out at the pouring rain falling into the ocean. And I waited.

"How much time do I have again?" Haruhi asked, scanning the empty wet beach before us.

"Let's see," I said. "Shorts, T-shirt, bikini top... You know what? Take all the time you need. Either you can get free or you can't."

"Okay." Haruhi made a show of struggling slightly, though I could tell she wasn't even trying. What was really strange - actually what I would have considered strange but was now accepting as quite normal for Suzumiya - was that Haruhi seemed so content and peaceful this way, slowly rocking from side to side. "I wonder if Kyon would understand," she sighed softly to herself.

I didn't answer. Instead I put my hand on the back of her thigh and rubbed it. I had a feeling Haruhi wouldn't mind that, and I was right. She didn't seem to mind it at all. In fact she moved her tied-together ankles and wrists over to the side a little bit - as much as the rope harness would allow her - and she angled her bottom toward me a little.

I got the message - at least I hoped I got the message - and I moved my hand up under her shorts, under her bikini bottom, and over her solid bare bum underneath. I could tell Haruhi loved it.

And, yeah, I was _really _enjoying this. There was just so much playful sexual energy radiating from this girl, I felt I was going to blow up! But it was fun, too, in this crazy erotic sort of way. I truly don't think I've ever wanted to fuck a girl so badly in all my life.

I slowly slid two of my fingers into her bum crack. Haruhi clenched her thigh and glute muscles, grabbing my fingers with her tensed butt cheeks. She giggled as she did this, and said "Gotcha!" with a turn and a wink. I slowly pulled back. Then I simply rested my hand on her bare bottom and rubbed it gently. The interchange was fun. Haruhi had sent me a message in the coolest way imaginable: No, I wasn't getting any farther than this, but I was okay where I was. Haruhi had no problem hanging out with me on second base.

Haruhi shifted her shoulders from time to time and moved her arms a little to keep the circulation going. She'd arch her back and stretch now and then when she switched her gaze to a different direction. But for the most part she seemed as content as a pea in a pod, watching the scene, serenely lying there all roped up on her belly.

Suddenly a huge whale - probably the same one that led me to Haruhi not long ago - jumped out of the water and came down with a huge splash right in front of us. "Did you see that?" Haruhi asked with a gleam in her eye. "That rocked! When I was coming here on the train, I was _hoping_ I'd see a big whale today."

"Wow." That was all I could think to say as my hand moved back and forth over this wonderful girl's beautiful bare bottom. "Amazing."

The rain was winding down to a light drizzle. "Are you ready to go?" I asked Haruhi.

"Yeah, I suppose." She answered with a sigh of disappointment, as if she were stepping out of a comfortable hot tub into the cold.

Haruhi started to shift and twist. I really don't know how it happened, but the ropes just seemed to slide off of the girl. From where I was sitting, her escape _looked _perfectly plausible - even though it didn't make a bit of sense to me considering how thoroughly I had tied her up. Haruhi was free in less than thirty seconds, sitting up and admiring the fading rope marks on her wrists and above her elbows.

"How did you do that?" I asked.

"I don't know." Haruhi shrugged. "It's not like I have a system. I just wanted to be free. So I got free." She stood up, put her hands on her hips, and looked down the beach. "Come on. Let's get going." She pointed north. "I think he was going thattaway!" She started running.

I looked at the ropes lying on the blanket in the dome shelter. I thought about putting them back on the pup tent, but then I looked at Haruhi running away from me. Heck, they'd find their ropes. I got up and sprinted after the girl.

"Hey Haruhi," I said after I finally caught up to her. "Did you just use me to get even with your boyfriend?"

"Yep," my running partner replied.

"Sign me up if you need someone for the next time," I said jokingly. But Haruhi was silent.

We came upon a row of boulders so we stopped our run momentarily to climb over the obstacle. Strange things were happening, and I couldn't let it go. So as we navigated this barrier, I pushed just a little more.

"How did you know I wasn't going to take advantage of the situation back there?" I asked Haruhi.

"I just knew," was her curt answer. I could tell she didn't want to talk about it. It wasn't important. Her mind was back in that other place, thinking about Kyon. And she didn't look happy. So I finally took the hint and shut up.

We ran for a full thirty minutes after that, not trading a single word. Since the park was located at the end of a peninsula, we were now coming back around toward the entrance. I usually cut across the park entrance in order to catch up to the beach I came from. I was glad to see that Haruhi turned to take this route. After turning away from the water, we ran until the sand ended. Haruhi slowed to a walk once we hit the grass.

"In my dreams I can never get out of Kyon's ropes. No matter how hard I struggle."

We were back to those dreams again. "Did you ever consider that maybe they're not really dreams," I said, "that maybe what you're experiencing is real?"

Haruhi gave me the strangest look. But she didn't write me off. She crossed her arms across her chest and considered my theory. And I wasn't surprised she did. I could tell Haruhi was a smart girl and, if I was right, she probably suspected something was up a long time ago.

I know. You're probably wondering if _I_ thought Haruhi's dreams were real. No, I didn't think they were. But my gut was telling me they weren't regular dreams either - I just _knew _that!

I didn't have a clue what was going on - but I was noticing a trend. When this girl wanted something to happen, it happened. In fact, the reason I was out here now walking next to this girl was probably because she wanted someone to talk to. Somehow the universe picked me for this job. All the events of the day pointed to that.

Did it make any sense? _No, of course it didn't make sense!_ But here I was! So I decided not to rely on common sense - and I went with what my gut told me instead. So far the universe seemed pretty darn competent at fulfilling this girl's wishes. I reasoned that whatever I was going to tell her was probably going to be the right thing.

"I don't think you're on any type of drugs," I said. "But I do think you might have been hypnotized somehow."

"What are you talking about?" Haruhi said, though she didn't seem to disagree like a normal person would have. "I would never let anybody hypnotize me. And isn't it true that you can't be hypnotized against your will?"

"Okay, well there's the mystery! I think you _want_ to be hypnotized for some reason. It's the only thing that makes sense. I do the same thing to myself every day."

"Huh? Why would anybody do that?"

"I have to! To make my life work! I can't function on less than eight hours of sleep. I usually need ten or more. But I work the night shift. So I fool my body into thinking one thing when something else is true. I moved into a core efficiency in the center of a huge apartment building where there aren't any windows - so it's dead silent and pitch black. I record the sunrise outside every morning and watch it on my big screen in the afternoon when I get up."

Haruhi laughed. "Wow. That's really nuts, Tank."

"Nope. It's a perfectly logical thing to do and it totally works! It helps me cope with reality."

"You know, they have webcams of the sunrise over the ocean in Tahiti," Haruhi said with this cute, teasing smile. "That could be a really cool thing to wake up to."

"That's actually an awesome idea," I said. "But you only have to fool yourself so much to get by. I'm actually pretty happy the way things are."

"I like the way things are, too. I feel happy." Haruhi took a deep breath. "Well, I _felt_ happy."

"But then Ryoko came along," I said. "She threw a wrench in your machinery and now you don't know what to do. Right?"

"What if I don't want to have these dreams anymore?" Haruhi asked. "What if I want to know what's really happening? So I can, you know... re-adjust."

"You don't have to do anything! If you don't want to be hypnotized anymore you only have to make the decision not to let yourself get hypnotized. You're in total control of that."

Haruhi nodded affirmatively. I could tell it made sense to her.

Don't ask me how I did it, but somehow I told Haruhi Suzumiya exactly what she needed to hear.

"That bitch is not going to beat me," Haruhi said. "I just need to step up my game."

"She doesn't stand a chance," I said. And I didn't doubt it a bit.

Haruhi put her hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry," she said, "for teasing you before, you know, in that shelter. It was wrong of me to use you like that."

"Are you serious?" I shook my head with a wide grin. "You know you ruined me for life!"

Haruhi broke out in laughter. "Hey Tank, I warned you I was a strange fish!" She ran both of her hands back through her hair and fashioned a temporary ponytail. "And it did make me feel a _little_ bit better. In spite of what Ryoko told me, I just know she gave it up for Kyon. Guys are no match for girls like her."

I glanced over at my gorgeous companion - and nodded in complete agreement.

"Still, he shouldn't have done it. But I understand." She dropped her arms to her sides. "And now we're even."

I knew Kyon would never find out about our little game in the shelter. But I could see the episode worked for Haruhi on a couple of levels. First, it let her move on.

And second, it let Haruhi know that she was every bit as good as Ryoko at wrapping a helpless blubbering guy (that would be me) around her little finger.

Kyon was a lucky bastard. I wondered if I would ever meet this guy. Heck, would I ever see Haruhi Suzumiya again after today? I really hoped so.

Don't misunderstand me. I wasn't dumb enough to want to be Haruhi's boyfriend. But I loved being around her. Her energy was intoxicating. I admired Kyon for being the special fish that understood this girl. Or maybe the special fisherman that managed to reel her in. There had to be something special about him, too.

I study people, and something told me these two were a very special couple. So I pushed again.

"Hey Haruhi. In your dreams, what is Kyon like? Is he kinky like you?"

Haruhi smiled that devious smile. I could tell she was reliving events as she spoke. "There's this one dream I seem to have over and over again. Maybe because it's my favorite. It's one where Kyon puts a collar and leash on me and tells me to strip."

"And you do it?"

"No, not right away. I make sure he means it. I don't want to show my cards too fast."

"Does he mean it?"

Haruhi put her hand up to her neck and nodded. "Oh yeah." She giggled and wiggled her bum. "He means it."

I was starting to get hard again just listening to this girl. And I think she could tell. So she changed the subject.

"You're a really great listener, Hondo. You should go to school for psychology or something and do this for a living. Then you could stop fooling yourself every morning. Besides, being around the dark side as much as you are at that club has gotta suck."

"I'm young," I said. "And I'm still trying to find my way. Working the bar is fun. I really love my job. But you're right, it's not a career. And I do hate seeing how many lives the dark side is ruining. I try to help everyone I can and believe it or not the owner, Mr. Ling, runs a very clean business there compared to most."

Haruhi put her hands on her hips and looked at me like I was an idiot. "Really? A _clean_ strip joint?"

I laughed. "He does what he can. He _is_ a businessman. But he doesn't tolerate drugs or prostitution. Fires anybody on the spot if he catches wind of it."

"Ling, huh? Is the owner's name Al Ling by any chance?" Haruhi asked me as she adjusted her yellow hairband.

"Yeah. How did you know that?"

"I don't know. Maybe I read about him in the paper or saw him on TV. The name just sounds familiar."

"Would you like to meet him?" I asked. "He's an interesting guy. A real humanitarian."

"Oh come on!" Haruhi laughed at my joke. "What kind of humanitarian opens up a strip joint?"

"He's an interesting guy."

Haruhi smiled. "Maybe you can introduce me to him at the next amateur night."

I was pretty sure Haruhi was joking.

We were back on the sand, which meant it was time to run. Haruhi and I didn't talk much as we ran back towards the train station. I could tell she had a lot on her mind. Haruhi ran with purpose, like a girl on a mission. Like a girl who wanted to get home quickly.

When we got to the train station, the timing was perfect. Haruhi's train was on the track and ready to go. I still had an hour wait. She pulled her pack out of her locker and we jogged to the platform together.

"Thanks for an amazing day," I said.

Haruhi gave me a huge bear hug - I think she almost broke my back. Damn this girl was strong!

"Thanks, Hondo... Tank. It was a blast hanging out with you. You're a great guy."

She stepped on the train moments before it pulled away. There were no exchanges of numbers or emails. No promises to do this again. She just left.

Once the train was out of sight, I found a bench to sit on. When I tried to figure out my feelings about the day, my brain reminded me of this old movie I had to sit through once in a film history class. It was called "Roman Holiday". It's about a regular guy that gets to spend the day with a real life princess that snuck away from her entourage. This guy didn't get the girl in the end either. It was never meant to be.

But he did get to experience a day with an amazing person. It was a day that he'd never forget for the rest of his life.

* * *

A/N: In case you're curious, I found "Roman Holiday", full movie, on YouTube (YouTubeDotCom/watch?v=9hDQlNLZAm8). It's been there a year as of the posting of this note, so it will probably be there when you read this. It's a 1953 classic that won Audrey Hepburn an Academy Award for Best Actress. Wow, I just realized that's _60 years ago!_


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